Emison
by Sarahflem
Summary: A/U story. Feel free to write reviews, I'd love to know what you guys think! I know a lot of you are waiting for the two to share a kiss but I wanted it to be interesting at first. They'll kiss soon! Also, I'm so sorry I don't update as much, I don't want to rush my work, and one day I'm hoping I can publish this story.
1. Emison

I'm Emily Fields, and this is my story, about falling in love with a girl named Alison Dilaurentis . It all starts in the beginning.

"How was your first day of grade 7 Emily?" My mom asked

"It was all right, there's this new girl, I think her name is Alison, she looked lonely so me, Aria, Spencer and Emily sat with her."

"Just like your mother, always caring about other people" my dad said smiling.

The first day of grade 7 is when I met Alison. At the time I was only 12 and I couldn't tell you that I knew much about love but I can tell you that I felt something towards her that day. The school year went on, and by the beginning of grade 8 the five of us were all best friends. Though, when you have a group of best friends, you always have a favourite. Aria and Spencer were always closer with each other and Hanna was always closest to me, but Alison always, and always will be my first option. I remember the exact date of the first time I realized I liked Alison more as a friend.

September 22nd 2010, grade 8

"I feel sick" I said

My mom put her hand on my forehead and said

"You don't have a fever Emily. Go to school"

"I don't feel like going today" I pouted

"Emily. Go. Now!" My mom demanded

I walked out and slammed the door. I started crying as I walked to school and I heard Ali call my name from behind me

"Emily, wait up!"

I didn't stop walking and by the time she reached to me she said

"Thanks for…"

She looked at me from the side then turned my body, and looked at me face to face. She kept her hand on my arm and asked me

"What's wrong?"

I didn't say anything. She leaned towards me and hugged me. She wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped mine around the back of her neck and dug my face into her shoulder. For the first time in my life I felt something different. I felt a new feeling. I felt a thousand new feelings and they all had to do with loving Alison. They say home is a place where there's a roof over your head but I think home is being held by her. From that day forward, I knew I liked Ali as more than just a friend.

*Alison's side*

I'm 16 years old, my name is Alison Dilaurentis. I don't usually write stories but I think everyone should write about their love life because it's a beautiful thing. I never thought I would ever fall in love with a girl, but then I met Emily Fields.

"I don't wanna go to school! I don't know anyone here! We should of never moved!" I pouted to my mom on the first day of grade 7.

"Darling, you will meet new friends, trust me" she said

I wrapped my arms around myself and took off in an angry pace.

The school looked tiny compared to my other one. I walked into the classroom and sat at the desk where no one else was. The classroom started to fill minute after minute, and still, I sat alone. But then these four girls got up and walk towards me

"Hey I'm Emily" Emily said smiling

"I'm Aria" Aria said smiling too

"Hanna" Hanna said cooly

"I am Spencer Hastings" Spencer said sophisticated

"I'm Alison" I replied shyly

"Can we sit with you?" Emily asked

"Oh, of course" I said

As the year went on we all became best friends. But I always leaned towards Emily's side more. I guess it wasn't until the day I was walking with Emily on the way home from school in grade nine, early January, that I realized I loved her. It was freezing outside but she made it feel warm.

"I looked so bad today, I had no time to put on makeup" Emily said

"You don't need make up Emily. You're beautiful as you are" I replied.

She stopped walking and looked at me.

"Do you really mean that?" She asked

The moment she asked, it felt like the world stopped, nothing around me mattered, only what was in front of me; Emily. I looked into her eyes deeply, I looked at her beautiful brown eyes, and I looked into her soul. It took me approximately 12 vital seconds to reply

"Yes, I do"

It took me approximately 12 seconds to realize that I was in love with her. The best thing that ever happened to me was the moment I fell in love with her. The worst thing that ever happened to me was also, the moment I fell in love with her.


	2. Grade nine

*Alison's side*  
"So Spencer, you're dating Sean huh?" I said kind of rudely.  
"He's been crushing on me for awhile, so I thought; why not?" Spencer replied  
"Maybe because he's ugly" I said dryly.  
"He is not! He has abs! Sorry that his face doesn't look like your precious Noel Kahn" Spencer said  
"Oh please. I hardly like him" I replied looking off into Emily's direction.  
"Then who do you like?" Hanna asked curiously.  
Emily looked up and saw me staring at her, I felt a certain rush and looked at Hanna.  
"No one" I said not trying to sound too harshly.  
The bell rang and we all got up to go to English.  
"I can't wait for freshman year to be done" Aria pouted  
"Oh relax sweetie, it's not that bad. We're all on the cheerleading team, Spencer got a boyfriend, and everyone loves us" I said highly.

I started to text Emily in class  
"Hey Em, wanna hang out after school? Just me &amp; u" I sent.  
She replied 3 minutes later  
"Sure, but how will we leave without them?"  
I looked up and threw a piece of eraser at Emily's head. She looked back at me angrily. I smiled and said  
"Just follow me lead"  
The teacher heard me and drew all attention to me.  
"Mrs Dilaurentis, do you wish to speak?"  
"I'm just bored that's all" I replied yawning. She flexed her nostrils and before she could yell at me the bell rang and we all left.

"What are we doing tonight?" Aria asked.  
"Nothing" I said picking at my nails. "I got to go out with my parents"  
"Me too" Emily said.  
"Okay, see you guys tomorrow" Aria said and walked off in the opposite direction with Hanna, and Spencer.  
I smiled at Em and she smiled back.  
"What do you wanna do?" She asked.  
"Come over, will listen to music" I said.  
We got to my place and went up into my room.  
"So Em, who do _you_ like?" I asked not trying to sound interested. But really am.  
*Emily's side*  
I went over to Alison's after school and for the first time ever she asked me who I liked. I looked into her eyes, my heart keep shouting at me to say "You! You! You! I like you!" But instead, I said quietly  
"No one"  
She smiled at me and went to go turn on music. She started to dance like she usually does. We sort of have this routine, I watch her dance for a bit, and I'm watching her because I'm madly in love with her ability to dance. And then eventually she'll say something along the lines "come join me" and then will dance and sing together. If you were to ask me, how I knew what love is at such a young age, I would tell you; it's the feeling of dancing happily and singing at the top of your lungs with someone who makes you happy, someone you can be yourself around.  
"C'mon Em!" She cheered.  
I got up and we danced the night away like we usually do. Since it's a Friday, her parents let me sleepover just like any other weekend.  
"Want to watch Sinister?" Ali asked.  
"I don't know" I replied wry  
"Oh c'mon don't be scared" She mocked  
"I'm not scared!" I lied  
She got up and said "Good. I'll put it in then"  
We got halfway through the movie and I kept grabbing Ali's hand every time something scary happened. Near the end, the sinister guy carried out the little girl and I've never been so spooked out by a movie in my life. I felt shivers go up my spines and I moved so close to Ali, I was practically on top of her. But she let me, she knows I hate scary movies.  
When I woke up the next morning, I was sleeping on Ali's chest and my arm was wrapped around her. I wanted to stay, but I couldn't. I immediately moved and that woke her up. She gave me a wry smile and went into the bathroom. Once she got out, I went in too.  
*Alison's side*  
Last night, I put on a scary movie, just for the fact that Emily gets so freaked out by them. Whenever we watch one and something terrifying happens she always touches me for reinsurance. Lately, I've been putting on even more scary movies. I love knowing she comes to me for protection, even if it's just because of a movie. I love it when she touches me.

I awoke this morning to see her laying on my chest, she had her arm wrapped around me. I felt at ease. It's like; if anyone were to ever ask me to picture the most relaxing yet happiest place in the world, I would pick Emily cuddling with me. I rested my eyes with a smile on my face for a few minutes, just enjoying the reality of this. But then she bolted awake, it made me jump up in surprise. I smiled at her awkwardly and she looked a tad embarrassed. Anyways, the day went on and we didn't do much. Though, I'm not complaining, as long as Emily is by my side, I'm happy. I don't care what we're doing, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be near her.  
A couple days later I arrived to school with Hanna and we met up with the rest.  
"Ali, do you talk to any of the guys on the football team besides Noel?" Spencer asked curiously.  
"No, and I barley talk to Noel. I'm always with you four" I replied defensibly.  
"Great" Spencer said.  
"What? Why?" I asked.  
"Well Emily needs a boyfriend." She exaggerated.  
"What? Why?" Me and Emily both said with a mix of anger and confusion in our voices. I regretted what I said right away because all four of them casted a curious look my way. I sort of just stiffened out and put my arms around myself.  
"Well… I'm dating Sean. Hanna likes Lucas. Aria claims there's no hot guys or girls at this school. You have Noel. And Emily," she said looking at Emily "you need to find a boyfriend"  
Before Emily could say anything back I walked up besides her and looked at Spencer  
"How many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing going on between me and Noel!" I yelled sharply. "And Emily doesn't need you to pick out a boyfriend for her." I added.  
All three of them looked at me in shock. Emily just sort looked up at me and gave me an awkward smile. I felt insanely out of place. I've never pulled this kind of stunt before. I felt my face heating up, and not because of embarrassment, but because of anger. I let out a steamy sigh and walked away. A minute later I heard Emily calling my name. She caught up to me and pulled me around.  
"What?" I snapped  
"Nothing.. It's just I… I don't want a boyfriend" She said awkwardly.  
Since I was in such a bad mood for letting myself show a hint of jealousy I exploded in front of Emily.  
"I don't care ok?! Do what you want and fuck who you want"  
She didn't respond, she just stood there, looking drawn back. Finally she said,  
"You should apologize to Spencer for being a bitch"  
She walked away before I could say anything else. I saw all of them last period in English and walked up to Spencer sadly.  
"Spencer, I'm sorry for lashing out on you." I said "I didn't mean it, everything is going so crazy at home" I lied  
Spencer got up and hugged me  
"It's okay" she said into my ear.  
I smiled at her and took my seat. For the rest of the period, I ignored Emily because I felt hurt.

I hurried to go home after the bell rang and locked my bedroom door. I don't usually cry, but later that night I did.

*Emily's side*  
This morning Ali freaked out on Spencer when she mentioned the topic of boys and me. As soon as she walked away, Hanna said something.  
"Woah, what is her problem?" Hanna asked.  
"She probably had a bad sleep" I said "I'm gonna go catch up to her"  
I paced quickly after Ali.  
"Alison!" I called out.  
I pulled her around and she snapped at me  
"What?"  
"Nothing.." I said "it's just, I… I don't want a boyfriend" I stuttered out of place.  
"I don't care ok!? Do what you want fuck who you want!" She yelled.

I looked at her speechless. I'm use to Ali yelling at some random "losers" at our school and her snapping at Spencer, Aria, and Hanna but she's never done this to me. Before I walked away from her I spoke sharply.  
"You should apologize for Spencer for being such a bitch"  
Later that day Ali did apologize to Spencer and I felt horrible for calling her a bitch. I could tell Alison was mad at me because I kept trying to get her attention by looking at her, she never returned the stare back. At the end of the day I smiled at her and she just looked at me blankly. It's nearly 10 right now and all I've been thinking about is Alison. I can't stand fighting with her, I can't stand not talking to her, I can't stand not being with her. Whenever we're apart I feel like a part of me is missing, and maybe it's my heart because she took it with her the day I fell for her. I wouldn't want anyone else to have my heart. I'm never going to find somebody as good as Alison. We're just friends but oh I swear, I feel something more every time I see her or think about her. I can't take this anymore. I know Alison will still be up right now because I know her like the back of my hand. She never goes to bed before 11:15 on school nights. She prefers pens, not pencils. She likes coffee with her bacon. She doesn't talk in the morning till she's done in the bathroom. She won't go to school without music to listen to. She hates the color brown and hates v-necks. Her favorite color is peach and her favorite month is August. She wants a tattoo quote of "Sometimes you've gotta fall before you fly" with birds beside the letters on her back and she hates piercings. She keeps up with all the latest fashions and never misses an episode of Modern Family. Don't ever bother trying to sing every lyric to every Lady Gaga song because she'll beat you. I know everything about Alison and that's one of the reasons why I know I'm in love with her. It's not just because her hair is as light as the sunset, or because her eyes are as blue as the ocean, nor is it because her smile shines brighter than the skies, not even the way she laughs or talks, it's because she's trust me enough to let me know exactly what she thinks in her mind at 3pm then at 3am, because she's the person who has the ability to make me smile when I cry, and the way she comforts me and protects me, it's because I find the littlest things about her so interesting. But also, the way she moves around sleeping in the middle of the night, goes from showing a smart side to her to a bad ass side to her, dances while she smiles, twitches her eye when she gets nervous and shakes her hands when she gets excited, is why I'm in love with her. People often say, it's the inside that counts, but what's on the outside tells you a lot too.

I flew off my bed and rushed down stairs. I put my shoes on and started to run to her house.


	3. Cheer

*Emily's side*  
I knocked on Alison's door and her mother opened it.  
"Is Ali home? I know it's late but it's school related" I lied.  
"Yes that's okay, and she's in her room" Mrs Dilaurentis said and let me in.  
"Thank you" I said smiling.  
I walked into Alison's room, she was laying underneath her blankets in her bed. I walked closer to her and said  
"Ali…"  
She jumped up holding the blanket around her, which makes sense now, because she's topless.  
"Jesus Emily you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?"  
I sat at the end of her bed and she wiped her hands over her eyes.  
"Were you crying?" I asked.  
"No, that's stupid" she said.  
Though she denied it, I could tell her eyes were wet because they were all puffy.  
"I'm sorry for earlier Alison, I never meant to be rude" I said.  
"I'm sorry too" she said.  
Whenever one of us are sad we always hug each other till we feel better. I know she doesn't have clothes on but I don't care, I have to hug her. I moved over to her and leaned down to hug her but she sat up with covers still around her. My face was an inch away from hers for about 5 seconds. But in those five seconds I saw her pupils get bigger and she licked her lips. I felt my mouth slightly hang open to let out a breath. It only lasted for five seconds because I was stupid to put my arm on her upper shoulder, as soon as I did she leaned her head up on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me while I held the covers up on her with my body from moving in to hug her back. I buried my head into her neck and put my hands on her back. I wanted to kiss her neck, I pressed my lips against her neck, I opened my mouth and wanted to drag my tongue against her neck passionately but I couldn't. Before I closed my mouth, my lip dragged on her neck and Ali perked up. We continued to hug. Her back felt so soft, to feel her skin was so elegant. I slowly moved my hand down her back, I traced my fingers across her skin and she flinched. I backed away from her because I think we can both agree that hug was a little too friendly. I held her cover up for her until she put her hands back on them. We both gave each other an awkward smile.  
I went home later that night and stayed up all night thinking about that hug. I've come to this theory that I really am in love with her. If it was just lust I would of went crazy on her, I wouldn't of slowly traced my fingers on her back, I wouldn't of thought her bare skin was an extraordinary pleasure to touch and see, I would have scratched her back, I would of thought about destroying her, pounding her. But instead of desiring her, I valued her. Nobody can tell me that I'm too young to know the difference between love and lust. I absolutely know the difference between wanting someone and needing someone. I know what it feels like to want to fuck someone and want to make love to someone. Anyways, I ended up drifting asleep and woke up to Hanna sitting at the end of my bed.  
"Get ready! We're gonna be late!" She shrieked.  
"Why so excited?" I replied yawning.  
" The game, and cheer after school!" She jumped.  
I got off my bed and rolled my eyes.

*Alison's side*  
I love Emily. It's all I can think about. She's all I can think about. I grow to love her more and more everyday. I don't think there will ever be a day where I don't love her. Even when I die, my heart will continue on living to love her endlessly. Yesterday she came to apologize and we had a real intimate hug. I was topless underneath my covers but she still came to hug me and I allowed it. I felt so alive, she touched my skin and I swore my heart jumped inside me, my pulse started to beat faster, butterflies flew in my stomach. It's as if the moment she put her hands on me I sprang back to life like a flower getting water and blooming on a sunny day.  
I awoke this morning to loud footsteps coming up the stairs. Aria walked in and as soon as she did I yelled at her to get out. I got up and put my bra on.  
"Ok, I'm decent" I announced.  
She opened the door and smiled.  
"Ready for cheer today?" I asked, returning a smile.  
"Totally, the boys are so going to win against North Claws" she said.  
"I know, that team has a lack of skill when it comes to every sport, and their cheerleaders aren't even pretty" I said.  
I put on white skinny jeans and a plain red v neck, and we were off to school.

The day went on and evening came. I lead a routine for the cheer that we've been practising for weeks, the crowd loved it, and I felt insanely confident. I don't care much about football but I do care about beating other schools and showing off our team. Our boys are up to four points and there's 30 minutes left.  
"Can we call it a break?" One of the girls pouted.  
"Excuse me? We have to cheer on our…" I began to talk but stopped as girls from the other school walked up to us. Our squad formed a line and Emily was right beside me. I walked two steps closer to them since I'm the captain. I put my hands on my hips.  
"What's the matter girls? Came to observe and envy us or what?" I smiled grimly.  
One of the taller girls with red hair stepped up.  
"Oh no, not at all. Are you the captain? Cause we were just sitting in the bleachers and noticed your horrible layout so we wanted to tell whoever is in charge how much you suck ass" The three of them started to laugh and I steamed up. Emily came by my side for reinsurance and I lost my nerve.  
"Listen redhead, you look like you just swallowed two trains and never had the chance to shit them out." I looked to the blonde and continued to talk "and you, you looked ok from a distance but now that I can actually see your face you look like a swollen tomato." I turned to my head to the other girl. "And don't even get me started with you. All three of you are just threatened by us because you don't have asses like ours and football players like ours" I stated.  
The three girls looked at each other and then the red head slapped me in the face. I dropped my jaw in surprise and got red all over again. But before I could hit her back Emily stepped up and punched her right in the face.  
"Don't ever touch her again bitch, now leave" Emily said.  
The girl looked up and her nose was bleeding. Her friends took her and then they left.  
"Thanks Em" I said, smiling warmly at her. She returned the smile and for the rest of the night, all the girls could talk about was what happened.  
Noel Kahn went for the touchdown and they won! The crowd went wild and we all threw our Pom Poms up. The boys came running over to us because most of my girls are dating the football players.  
"Did you see that?" Noel asked me.  
"Yeah, good job!" I cheered.  
Noel hugged me and lifted me up off my feet. To be honest, I didn't enjoy it all, he practically crushed me and I would of much preferred Emily to hug me like that. I looked over at her and I saw a guy hand her a slip of paper. I stopped smiling and felt my mood change right away when I saw her blush her eyes as the mysterious guy walked away. I walked away from Noel and to Emily.  
"Who was that?" I said not trying to let her hear the tone in my voice.  
"Um, I think his name was Ben" Emily replied shyly.  
"He gave you his number?" I asked and as soon as I did Spencer heard from behind and went off.  
"Woah Em, you got a boys number?" She said happily.  
"It's not big deal" Emily said.  
"Well do you think he's cute?" Spencer pushed.  
"Yeah, do you?" I pushed as well.  
"I guess he's cute but…" Emily said drifting her voice away.  
I didn't want to talk about this anymore cause it was making me upset.  
"Anyways, we can either go to the after party or just hang out the five of us" I said.  
"I don't feel like a party, we've been too so many of them already, the only one worth going to will be when they win against the Saint Bulls" Spencer said.  
"Agreed" I said broadly. "I'll go get Aria and Hanna"

By the time we settled into Spencer's barn, she brought up the whole number thing again.  
"Are you going to call him?" She asked.  
"Call? Who calls anyone these days?" Emily said and I smiled.  
"Well, text him or-"  
"Honestly shut the fuck up and leave Emily alone" I interrupted.  
Spencer mocked the word "wow" but never brought it up again for the rest of the night.  
Around 1am I went outside to get fresh air. I heard the barn door open and I spun around. Emily walked out and bumped into me  
"Hey" she said.  
"Hello" I replied brushing her arm with my hand.  
"That redhead didn't know what she was talking about. You're an amazing captain Ali, and you come up with the best routines"  
"Thank you Emily, it's all just for fun though" I said.  
"You make it fun, you make everything fun. You always make everything better" Emily said with her head down.  
I lifted her head up and she smiled at me, I returned the smile and I don't think I'll ever see anything quite as beautiful as her smiling.

You know, there's a difference between a friendly smile, fake smile, distant smile, shy smile, a smile where you look into their eyes, and a smile you make when they start to smile. You don't smile with one of your friends with love in your eyes, you don't smile at them for longer than 3 seconds, you don't think when they smile everything glows. But when you're smiling at the person you love, and you see them smile too, your whole mood lifts up. You smile at them with love in your eyes and for longer. I knew I was falling in love with her because every time she smiled, I would too.


	4. End of grade nine

*Alison's side*  
The boys made it to the football championship against The Saint Bulls. It should be a close game, but if our boys win; that'll make it three years in a row being the championships. The game is a week before school ends which is great. I can't wait for the summer break.  
"Hey Ali, you going anywhere special this summer?" Hanna asked.  
"No, just hanging out with my four darlings" I smiled.  
"Hey! We should plan all the things we should do this summer! Like a bucket list then check them off when we do them!" Spencer cheered.  
"That's actually a great idea, I'll go get paper, since there never is any in Ali's room" Emily said.  
"I'll come with" I got off my bed and we went downstairs.  
All four of them are sleeping over today, and in front of Spencer, Aria, and Hanna; I have to fight the urge not go run over to Emily and give her a hug. I miss having my arms around her, I miss her scent when I press my head on her neck, I miss the embrace of her warmth. I miss how I can place my head on her upper chest because she's taller than me. If I have to be completely honest, I would have to tell you that nothing feels better than having the girl I'm in love with wrapped around me. No minute could ever compare to the seconds I'm hugging her. No hour could ever compare to the minutes I'm hugging her. Basically, if I had to pick between going across the world or being in her arms; I would pick being in her arms.  
By the time we got down stairs and Emily got a piece of paper she looked at me and I clearly had a stern face on because she asked me  
"What's up?"  
I put my body against hers and my arms around her waist and rested my head on her upper chest near her shoulder. She put her arms on my back and tilted her head on the top of mine.  
"I needed a hug... Your hug" I said quietly.  
I guess we hugged for longer than I thought because Aria came downstairs and saw us.  
"Oh hey" She said awkwardly.  
Two words was all it took to break the moment of that wonderful hug.  
"You guys ok?" She asked  
"Uh yeah, just… Um Ali needed a hug" Emily said.  
I rolled my eyes at no one in particular and walked past Aria to go back upstairs in my room.  
"Where's the paper?" Hanna asked.  
"Emily has it, not me. She's coming"

*Emily's side*  
We all went over to Ali's house for a sleepover. Ali and I went downstairs to get paper and then we ended up hugging for awhile before Aria interrupted. Alison never really liked it when people are around when she wants to have space with just me. She doesn't really like a lot of things, she gets mad easily, but never at me and I often think about that a lot. It's an amazing feeling knowing that there's a person in this world who shuts everyone out except for you.  
After Aria came downstairs, Ali went back upstairs leaving me behind with the curious Aria.  
"Jee, I don't hug you guys like that" Aria said.  
"Honestly Aria shut up. I'm guessing you've never hugged us when you're sad" I said.  
"All I'm saying is - that looked more than just a friendly hug" she pressed on.  
"You're right" I said walking past her. "It was a moral support hug"

We spent the rest of the night eating pizza and coming up with ideas of what to do this summer.  
"The beach, obviously" Hanna said.  
"Shopping, movies, dinners" Aria said.  
"A week up at my cottage" Ali said.  
"My pool and sipping on lemonade" Spencer said.  
"Cedar point and obviously The Tiger Fair" I said.  
"Tanning and listening to music" Hanna said.  
"Fires, and there's local bands playing around like every summer" Spencer said.  
I wrote it all down on a piece of paper.  
"Oh, we forgot the best one. Let's get drunk" Ali said.  
We all laughed and I wrote it down.

*Alison's side*  
"Let's go sharks let's go sharks let's go!" The whole team cheered as the boys came out onto the field. The whole crowd went wild watching us do our routine, mainly because they're stupid horny teenage boys. But as the game got halfway through the whole attention was on the field. Our boys are losing by four points.  
They better win, even though it's Monday, there's suppose to be a huge party at Noel's place if they win and I don't want to miss it. The last day of school is Wednesday but I doubt anyone will be going into school tomorrow or Wednesday if they go to the party tonight, _If_ they win.  
"This is sharks territory. Go sharks go!" I started a chant and soon the whole crowd chanted along.  
I looked to my left and noticed the guy that gave Emily his number is talking to her right now. I marched up to him.  
"What do you think you're doing? Don't interrupt my girls, and you're suppose to be playing a game"  
"Hello, I'm on the bench and I thought, I might as well come talk to Emily" he said smiling at her.  
"Well back off!" I shouted.  
"Alison quit being a bitch all the time" He said.  
I dropped my Pom Pom's and put my hands on my hips. While I did Emily said

"Ben, don't be rude"  
"Yeah Ben. Don't be rude. I'm not a bitch, I'm the bitch. And you better leave Emily the fuck alone"  
"Or what? You're gonna throw your Pom Pom's at me?" He mocked.  
I felt my whole entire face go red and I pushed him back with as much strength I have. Surprisingly he fell and landed on all the water bottles. His teammates laughed and he got back up just as angry as I am. Before he could get into my face Emily stepped in.  
"Ben leave! Just go!" She yelled.  
He looked at her and shook his head in disappointment.  
I can't keep doing this, I can't keep getting defensive and jealous over Emily. Everyone expects me to be that girl who has no feelings and doesn't care about anything or anyone. I don't want people to think I like her. I just want them to think I'm sticking up for her. I feel like crying right now, not even because I'm sad, but because I'm mad.  
I walked over to Hanna, Aria, and Spencer. Emily followed behind me.  
"What was that all about?" Hanna asked.  
"What?" I said pretending to be clueless.  
"You literally just pushed a guy to the ground with all his equipment on" Hanna stated.  
I didn't want to say anything, luckily Emily chipped in.  
"He was being a prev, Ali helped me" she put her hand on my shoulder "thanks Ali" before I could reply, everyone in the crowd went wild and horns went off. We all looked at the field and our boys were all huddled up together. I looked at the scoreboard and the game ended.  
23-21.  
"We won! Yes!" I shouted.  
Our cheerleading squad went into a giant hug and of course, like always, Emily is beside me which mean I get to touch her and she gets to touch me, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

By the time we got to Noel's party, Emily stepped out of the car with a scared look on her face. I almost had the urge to call her baby - it's so weird because I've never thought of calling her that. But oh my, I could only imagine. Being able to call her baby, being able to say "I love you baby" in the same sentence fills my heart up with heat. Just being able to call her mine would make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  
"Ba- Em, what's wrong?" I asked  
"I don't know if I wanna be here. Ben's here, something might happen, he might hurt you" she said quickly.  
I grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes when I talked  
"Emily, trust me, it'll be okay, you'll be okay and I'll be okay. Will all be okay" I said reassuringly.  
She gave me a nod and we all walked in.

About halfway through the night we were all piss drunk and Noel came up to me and started shouting.  
"Alison! You are so pretty! I loooove your face!"  
He leaned in to kiss me but I pushed him away and everyone that saw started laughing, I joined in too.  
"No way Noel" I said cooly  
"Oh what's the matter? Aren't i… Don't I have a nice face too?" He slurred out.  
I waved him _bye bye_ and walked into the kitchen. I couldn't stop laughing, I was finding everything hysterical. I'm pretty sure Ben came up to me and started talking to me but I really couldn't make out what he was saying. I sort of just kept laughing which irritated him to the point where he walked away. I saw Spencer and Emily in the living room dancing, I started running towards them because I wanted to dance too but as soon as I started to run I fell on my knees and my stomach flipped upside down, I puked.  
"Oh boy" I said wiping my mouth, but still laughing.  
Aria helped me up and took me to the bathroom.  
"This is exactly why I didn't get drunk, this is exactly why you shouldn't have gotten drunk" she lectured.  
"Aria?" I said.  
"What?" She snapped.  
"Are you my mom?"  
"No…"  
"Then shut the fuck up" I said and started to laugh again.  
She rolled her eyes and gave me a bottle of water. Once I finished it she gave me another one.  
"God that tastes awful" I said.  
"At least it's not vile" she said.  
"What time is it?" I asked.  
"Quarter to 3 in the morning" she responded.  
Aria was about to open the door but Emily beat her to it. She rushed in here and puked in the bath tub. I started to laugh and tears ran down my face.  
"Why... didn't you... go for the toilet... instead?" I said in between laughs.  
She looked at me confused, and then bursted out laughing too.  
"Oh my god. This is insane. I'm out of here, you two are idiots!" Aria shouted.  
Once she slammed the door I crawled on the floor towards Emily.  
"Emily you know what rhymes with Emily? Teeee, as in you're prettyyy" I garbled.  
She laughed and spoke sounding oddly confused  
"And sin rhymes with gin but that also rhymes with Alison, you know? But you don't sin, you're not sin, because to me, you are an angel"  
"I reallllllly like you, really like" I said.  
"You do, I know you do, I know you know I really like you, you know" Emily said  
"I think you are the most loveliest thing on this planet" I admitted.  
"I think you make summer days shine brighter and make winter days feel warmer" she admitted.

I once had this thought in my mind that; when you're completely drunk and you call out to a person, you must really love them to let them know what you're too afraid to say sober.  
I opened my mouth to let out a laugh but no sound was coming out. I moved closer to her and sat right on her lap. I'm going to kiss her. This is it, I've wanted to do this forever, and now I'm finally going to. I moved my lips inches away from hers. I leaned in a little more to the point where my lips were almost on hers, but then I knocked my head on her nose and fell onto her lap. I passed out and I think she did to because I heard a loud bang before my eyes shut and saw Emily's head hit the wall.  
I got woken up by Hanna walking in with a mixture of laughing and shouting questions.  
"What the hell happened to you two?"  
"Why are you on top of Emily?"  
"What the hell died in here?"  
"Oh my god Em, is your nose bleeding?"  
Emily touched her skin near her nose.  
"It's dry"  
"But what happened?"  
"I don't even remember" she said rubbing her head.  
"What time is it?" I asked.  
"It's 6 in the morning, Noel wants everyone gone" Hanna answered.  
I got up and felt dizzy right away. I pressed my hand on the side of my head and tried to walk without falling. Hanna ended up calling for Spencer and both of them helped me and Em keep our balance.  
"Why aren't you two hung over?" I asked.  
"Oh we are, just nowhere near as bad as you two" Spencer said.  
"Damn Emily and Alison go hard" Hanna laughed.  
We ended up sleeping half the day away in Spencer's barn. Of course Aria wasn't there though, because Emily and I annoyed her away. Although I don't remember anything, I feel like I had a pretty good damn night. People often thinks it's stupid to get wasted. Sure it's stupid to get wasted everyday and every weekend. But I don't do that, we don't do that. I don't need alcohol to have a good time but sometimes I do need alcohol to make it a little more fun. Just because I'm hungover one day doesn't mean I can't be cuddled up in a warm blanket the next day reading a book. And if you still don't catch what I'm saying; _people can get drunk and still be a good person_.


	5. Beach day

*Emily's side*  
"Its been a week since we got out off school and we still haven't done anything" Ali complained "me and you should just go somewhere together"  
"The beach?" I suggested.  
"Yes! I'll go get my things" Ali said getting off my bed.  
"No wait" I said pushing her back on the bed "it'll only take me like five minutes to get ready"  
I walked away taking off my shirt, I went to the dresser and pulled off my shorts.  
"Here it is!" I looked at Ali "don't look"  
She lay back on my bed and stuffed a pillow over her face. I put my bikini on, then my clothes on over top of it. I walked over to Ali and took the pillow off her.  
"Told you I'd be quick" I said.  
She smile and rubbed her arm.  
"Woah, what the hell happened?" I asked.

*Alison's side*  
Emily just finished changing in front of me and asked what happened to my arm.  
"I don't know, you must have an invisible cat" I lied.  
The truth is; when she took off her shirt and pants, I dug my nails into my skin and slowly dragged my fingers. It was torture, seeing her half naked yet I can't do anything about it. She told me not to look when she took off her clothes and I respected her privacy, and stopped my act of frustration and temptation on my arm. By the time Emily was done my arm started to bleed; but not a lot. So I rubbed it, hoping she wouldn't see. But of course, she did.  
"Yea, must be" she said suspiciously.  
I kept quiet and then finally she let out a cocky smile after thinking silently to herself, and now I think she knows why my arm is all marked up. I felt a steam of rush coming on my face from embarrassment, I shouldn't be so weak. But how can I not be when it comes to her?  
I got off her bed and walked out of her house, she followed.

*Emily's side*  
Ali had these deep dug in scratch marks on her arm that I never noticed before I got dressed. At first I thought maybe she was just itchy. But then she lied about it, so now I think she did it because she saw me taking off my clothes.  
Does she like me? No, she doesn't. How could she like me? She's probably just like any other teenager and gets turned on when she sees skin. If she did like me; she'd tell me. Ali always speaks from her mind and she barely lies.  
When we got to her house she went upstairs and I wanted to go with her but her mom was there. Ali announced that she was going to go get changed so I thought it would be smart to stay downstairs with her mom.  
"Would you like anything?" Her mom offered.  
_Your daughter._  
"No thank you. I'm fine" I said smiling.  
Alison takes forever to get ready. I swear I was downstairs waiting for her for 25 minutes before she came back down. She grabbed my arm like she usually does and we headed for the door.  
"Want a ride?" Her mom called out.  
"We can walk mom, it's nice out" Ali said back.  
We've been walking for ten minutes and I'm already so hot, it's so hot outside. I never think anything is hotter than Ali but I'm afraid this day might be a close second.  
"You call this a nice day?" I asked.  
"Beautiful" she said.  
_Just like you._  
"It's gross and muggy" I complained.  
"It is really hot out" she said taking off her shirt.  
Suddenly it got hotter and now I'm more bothered. I bit my lip while staring down at her bikini. She caught me looking so I talked quickly.  
"Cute design, it's nice, I like the color"  
Alison smiled which of course, made me smile.  
By the time we got there, I checked my phone and had around 10 text messages all from Hanna. They all basically said "where are you?" And "do you know where Ali is?" I lied and told her that I was out shopping with my mom for the day.  
"Did you bring your phone Ali?" I asked.  
"Nop" she said, placing her towel down in the sand. "It's a day to tan and forget about electronics" she took off her shorts and lay on her back.  
I laughed and texted Hanna again. I told her that Ali went to visit her aunt today.  
"How long are you gonna tan?" I asked.  
"Till I melt" she said.  
"I'm going in the water" I said getting up.  
"Emily, tan with me"  
"But I'm sweating"  
"Good! Keep sweating. Will go in the water in an hour. Now spray me" she threw me a tanning lotion bottle.  
I sprayed her back, legs and arms.  
"Oh my god it's so cold, rub it in, oh my god!" Alison shivered.  
I started rubbing the lotion in, I gripped her arms and then started moving my hands on her back. Her back feels so warm, I love touching her. I love this, I wish I could give her a massage but I don't think I could stop if I started. I stopped at her legs and stared. I can't do this, I can't rub her legs right there, it's so close. I'll die, like I will actually get so fucking horny that I'll want to start fingering her right on this beach and then I'll die from my hormones exploding. I'm not even kidding, I'm sweating even more right now and my hands are shaking.  
"Emily can you hurry up? I feel it all falling off my legs onto the towel"  
I moved over on my knees to her lower part of the legs. I started to rub it in really fast and before I knew it I was back at the top of her legs. I put both my hands on her one leg and rubbed it in. I put both my hands on her other leg and started to rub it in but I was still shaking and my hand slipped down in between her legs and I fucking touched her vagina. It didn't even last for 2 seconds. Her whole body twitched and she let out a loud breath. She turned around faster than lighting and gave me a wry smile. I sort of just sat there blankly. At least the outside of me was blank. My mind went racing, the moment my fingers slightly pressed up against her vagina my hormones kicked in even more. I couldn't get the thought of having sex with her out of my mind. But then I shook it off for a moment.  
"I need to go in the water" I said dazedly.  
I paced my way to the ocean and stepped in. I started to swim further out, I dunked my head in trying to erase my dirty thoughts. I came back for air and dragged my hands slowly down my face. Once I was done I breathed wow and oh my god about three times. Eventually I got out of the water and went back to Alison. She pretended nothing happened but we both know that I touched her.  
"Felt good?" She asked  
"WHAT?!" I screamed louder than I should of and turned red and people around us looked at me.  
"The water… Was it refreshing?" Ali said looking taking aback.  
I shook my head and said  
"Oh my god, I'm sorry. Yah it was. It was good" I said stupidly.  
Ali lay back down and put sunglasses on.  
"I'm going to get as tan as you look this summer" she said.  
I smiled at her and sat down on my towel. I looked at her stomach and saw traces of sweat. Even her sweat looks hot.  
Have you ever looked at a girls body in a bikini and then stopped to look at the boobs? You can't call us pigs because it's not our fault for looking, boobs are an amazing part of the body and always gets the eyes attentions. Especially Alison's.  
I ended up putting on tan lotion and reading a Mitch Albom book. "One more day" I've been reading for a half an hour and I slammed the book shut.  
"Oh god, I can't read anymore, I'm gonna bawl like a baby" I said breathing in and out.  
Ali picked up up my book, looked at it, looked at me, then threw the book down on my towel and got up.  
"I don't know how you read, books are insanely boring" she said.  
"Ah, but a person who never reads books only lives one life, and a person who reads; lives a thousand"  
She raised her eyebrow  
"You came up with that?"  
"No, I forget who said that though" I admitted.  
"I'm going in now, wanna come?" She asked.  
I got up and we walked into the water.  
"Whatever you do, don't splash me" Alison said.  
"Ok" I said.  
We got further in the water and I pretended to fall in and flapped my arms and body in the water creating a big splash. I grabbed Ali's legs from under the water and lifted her up and myself up from underneath. She started to laugh and I did too.  
"You little shit! I'm going to get you"  
"I'll throw you in"  
I was holding her waist, I lifted her up three times as high as I could and on three I threw her in the water. She let out a squeal and came up from under the water laughing.  
"My dad can't even do that with me anymore!" She said.  
"Your dad just isn't as strong as I am, I guess" I said bragging and flexing my muscles.  
She ducked her head and came up to me face to face. Then she spit out a bunch of salt water in my face.  
"K! You're a bitch!" I yelled.  
She laughed and said  
"Oh you love me"  
I smiled at her and then splashed water in her face.  
We ended up splashing water at each other and chasing each other in the water for a good time but then Ali got cold and we went back to the beach.  
"We have so much fun just the two of us" I said  
"I know, I could do this with Hanna, Aria and Spencer but it just wouldn't be the same. It's always better with you" she said.  
I let out a big smile and we hugged each other. I know this is suppose to be a friendly hug but her boobs are pressed on mine and it makes this hug feel so sexy.  
"Wanna sleepover?" I asked breaking the hug.  
"Sure, I'll have to get things from my house first" she said.  
A few hours later we were in my house watching a movie with my parents and I enjoyed it so much. It felt like Ali was apart of the family. Watching a movie with the people you love feels like what those people always say "it's the little things that counts"

*Alison's side*  
I'm only 15 right now and I know it's a little young to be thinking about such things in my mind but today at the beach, Emily accidentally touched my vagina. It only lasted for a second but I swear it was long enough to make my whole body spark alive with lust. I let out a steamy breath and felt awkward but also felt lascivious. I think Emily felt it too, she was sweating real bad and practically ran into the water to avoid me. She came back and all that was on my mind was her touching me so I accidentally said out loud  
"Felt good?"  
Oh my god I almost had a panic attack. But I managed to cover it up and stumbled the words  
"The… Water? Was it… Refreshing?"

The day went on and we had so much fun, like we usually do. I told her that it's better when the two of us just hang out, and it's true.  
Being around the one you love makes you feel so content, calm, enlivened. Being around _her_ feels like nothing else matters. It doesn't matter if we're sitting on her couch doing absolutely nothing, or at a concert screaming our heads off. Being around her is and always will be, where I will always want to be.


	6. Cottage

*Alison's side*  
My mom gave me permission to let my friends go to the cottage with me for a week. The only downside is that my brother will be there too. I love him and all, but Jason's Jason.

All the girls slept over and we're leaving at 5 in the morning.

"Are we almost there?" Hanna asked.  
"No, it's a long car ride Hanna. And we just left" I replied.  
"I love car rides" Emily said putting her arm out the window.  
Me, Spencer, and Aria all nodded our heads in agreement.  
I took my seat belt and leaned forward to thank my brother.  
"Thanks for taking us"  
He batted me away "Sit down Alison. I'm only taking you guys cause mom made me. I wanted to go up by myself, it's my favorite place in the world and now I won't be able to enjoy it with all of you"  
"It's my favorite place too Jason. It's ours, so don't be so greedy. Why didn't you invite any of your druggie buddies with you? Why didn't you invite any girls?" I asked to bug him.  
"Because I had to take you guys" he said.  
I smiled at him in the mirror and he gave me the finger.  
Hanna has the hots for my brother, we all know it, even he does. That's why she's up in the front sitting right beside him on the extra seat and Spencer's sitting next to Hanna. Me, Em, and Aria are in the back. My brother has a brand new 2012 F150 Ford Truck.  
I don't know how he could afford it; actually I do. He has a full time job selling drugs and a part time job every other night at the Gentlemen's club stripping. Also, I see him always bringing home items and putting them up on eBay. He never wanted anyone to know how he gets his money. He told mom and dad he fixes houses with his friends and that's why he bought a truck. But one day, I caught him and he _had_ to tell me the truth.  
He left our house in the middle of the night and I followed him. I saw him hand over a bag to some punk after repeatedly checking his surroundings. Once the guy handed him a whack of cash he turned around and walked away like nothing happened. Jason started to walk back home and I popped out of a bush.  
"You should of checked if anyone was watching you better"  
He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me off the sidewalk back into the bush.  
"Alison, what are you doing?"  
"Following you, and wow look what I saw. What was in the bag? A bottle of coke? Or a line of coke?" I asked grinning.  
"Jesus Alison, you can't tell anyone! Do you hear me?" He said panicking.  
"Oh brother, I wouldn't tell a soul. How much did he give you?" I asked.  
"Fifty five" he said cautiously.  
I opened up my hand and motioned him to give it to me.  
"Fuck you" he said walking away.  
"You better give me the money or I'll tell" I said.  
He stopped walking and turned around. He handed me the bills and let out an angry sigh.  
"What did you sell him?" I said looking at the money.  
"It was just weed"  
"Is that all you sell?"  
He laughed.  
"No really, tell me" I insisted.  
"It's all I sell here. There's no way I'd sell the heavy shit here" he said.  
"Where do sell the heavy shit?"  
He looked at me for awhile before answering then started walking.  
"On the Las Vegas strip"  
"Do you do it a lot?"  
"What's with the interrogation? You want to become my partner?"  
I stopped walking and started to think about that but then he interrupted my thoughts.  
"Alison, I was joking. You're 15, and I already have people I work with. But tell you what, if you wanna take it over when you're 21, I'll let you"  
"What? I don't want to sell drugs are you insane? I just want to know what you sell"  
"Weed"  
"Jason tell me what else or I will tell people, including mom and dad"  
"Ok. Ok. I sell heroin and cocaine"  
"How much do you make?"  
"Since we go once a month to sell coke we make roughly $4,400 but it's three of us so we have to split it. And for heroine we make $12,750 and we split that too. So I roughly get around $6400"  
"Wow maybe I should become one"  
"You'd have to be careful Alison, this isn't a game"  
"I'm not stupid. What about the weed?"  
"We all make that ourselves, so whatever we make, all the profit goes to ourselves. I sell weed whenever I get a call"  
"Do you get calls often?"  
"Sometimes I get five calls a day, sometimes I get none. Sometimes I get good business and sometimes I don't"  
"And you always sell 5 grams?"  
"Yes, unless they ask for 10. Now are we done with the questions?"  
I smiled at him and we walked home and never talked about it again. Until Jason came home at 4am in just tight underwear.  
I came downstairs for a glass of water. I heard the door open and I could feel my heart escaping from my chest. Jason walked into the living room and I calmed down until I saw what he was wearing- wait, until I saw what he was barely wearing.  
"Why the fuck were you outside in your underwear at 4am?" I asked seriously confused. "I've always struck you as a fucked up weird person, but this? I have no words"  
"Jesus Ali, why are you up?"  
"I'm thirsty. Why are you naked?"  
He looked at me like he didn't know what to say.  
"I can wait" I said putting my hands on my hips.  
"I came home from a girls house ok?"  
"No, no you didn't. If you did you would of wore boxers not those tig- oh my god! Oh my god! Ew! You're a stripper! You're a stripper aren't you? Holy fuck!"  
He came towards me and put his hand over my mouth  
"Be quiet!" He hissed  
"Jason, why? Why why why why?"  
"It's none of your business"  
"I'll make it my business. Want me to tell your friends? Want me to mom and dad?"  
"No! For fuck sakes. I'm doing it for money"  
"Don't you have enough money from your drugs?"  
He laughed and said "more is always better"  
"How much more?" I asked insanely curious.  
"Depends… I do it every other night and some nights I make $200 other nights I make $450. Girls love me there, they always prefer me more than the other guys"  
"Gross" I said.  
And that was the end of that conversation. Of course I told Emily all this, because I trust her.

"Turn on the music!" I yelled at Jason.  
He turned on the radio to a rock n roll station.  
"My car. My music" he said  
"I'm cool with that, I love rock n roll" Aria said.  
"Me too" Hanna said but was obviously only trying to get Jason to like her.  
He turned up the radio and we're all familiar with what came on.

I was made for loving you - Kiss.  
We all started to sing really loud and dance a little.

*4 hours later*  
"We're almost at the cottage. I love this part, I love driving through all the tall trees and the quietness. I love how the trees shade out the sun and make the road look like a journey to drive on. I love seeing a eagle fly by and owls sitting on the trees. You even see a few foxes or deers run by. I love everything about this place. I love getting off the pavement road and going on to a gravel road. I love passing the dump because you can always see bears and their cubs.  
"This is so breathtaking" Emily said staring out the window.  
"I can only use that word to describe up here and something else" I said to her.  
"What else?" She asked turning to face me.  
_You _  
"Nothing" I lied and she looked back out the window.  
"We're here!" Jason enthused.  
We pulled up into our driveway. Just like I remember, trees everywhere, a decent creamy red size cabin cottage, a path of built in of step rocks surrounded by sand leading to the lake, a shed for the atv's, seadoo, and other toys Jason built a couple years ago near the cottage, another shed but smaller filled with tubes, and toys we use to play with when we were younger. The driveway consists of sand and dirt. The only grass we have is in the backyard leading down to the lake. Jason built a path leading down to the dock and there's a deck right before the dock where you can sit and stare to enjoy the beautiful lake.  
My favorite place in the whole entire world is wrapped in Emily's arms but I swear, this place comes second.  
"Wow Ali, this place is beautiful, I don't think I'll want to leave" Spencer said.  
"I already love it" Emily said smiling at me.  
Hanna and Aria were already entering the cottage with my brother.  
We grabbed our bags and went inside. Just as we went through the door Jason past us and went out the door.  
"Where you going?" I called out.  
"To get the boat" he said turning around and coming back in the cottage "Actually we should drive the atv there so you can drive it back"  
"You expect me to leave my friends for you?" I asked.  
"Do want to go for fucking boat rides or not?" He said impatiently.  
I looked at my friends and they motioned me to go.  
"Will be fine, will put the food away" Spencer said.

Jason and I put on our racing helmets. I've always had a thing for atving and dirt biking. We got on the blue Suzuki and took off.

By the time we got there Jason paid the owner and took the boat of the dock and got in. He looked at me and said  
"Be careful with my ATV"  
"It's not yours. It's ours" I said walking away. I got on the atv and put in gear.  
I screamed at Jason  
"First one back to the cottage is obviously the faster rider. You wouldn't wanna lose to a girl now would you?"  
He gave me a smirk and roared his engine and took off. As soon as he took off I did to.

I killed the engine by the time I got back to the cottage, I saw Jason running up the path, I started running to.  
"Beat you!" He panted at the front of the door.  
"Are you stupid? We got here at the same time. It was a tie so deal with it" I said.  
He didn't reply and we walked in.  
"You sleep on the couch!" Hanna yelled.  
Me and Jason looked at each other and laughed. There's only four beds, 1 is a bunk bed, 1 is a single and there's 2 king size beds.  
"Looks like you'll have to sleep with Jason" I said to Hanna and everyone laughed but the two of them.  
I walked over to Emily  
"We can sleep together" I said smiling, she returned the smile and I added "if you want"  
"I want to" she said.  
"Hanna, I'll sleep on the couch" Aria said sadly.  
"Hey, the couch is comfy" I pointed out.

"I don't know about you guys, but it's hot out and I want to enjoy that sun in my bikini by the lake" I said taking my banning suit and walking into the bathroom. I put on a new bikini that my mom just bought me. It's all black but has a baby blue diamond in the left patch and a diamond on the left side on the bikini bottom.  
I came out of the bathroom and Aria whistled. I stroke a posse and we all laughed. Though, Emily's laugh looked more distant.

*Emily's side*  
I know for a fact that this is going to be the best part about this summer. Going to Alison's cottage and being with her. Oh, and my friends. When we got there Ali went on the ATV, she put on her helmet and a pair of racing gloves. I don't think I've ever seen her look so attractive. Of course, she's always attractive, but seeing that? God damn. I most certainly believe my whole body said "damn" not just my mouth. When she came back from her ride she took off her helmet and her hair flipped back into place and it looked so luscious. Her hair is so perfectly lightly golden. _Everything_ about her is so perfect.  
We all went to go put on our banning suits and tan outside. Aria and Spencer went downstairs to change and me and Hanna waited for the bathroom. Ali always takes forever to get changed, always. Spencer and Aria went after her and still came up before her. The door started to open and Alison walked out and suddenly the room felt hotter.  
Aria whistled at her and they all started to laugh. I was too busy admiring Ali's body. She never fails to catch my eye.  
Aria started walking to the bathroom. I walked ahead of her and shut the door  
"Me first!" I yelled.  
I put on a pair of short shorts and a plain aqua bikini top.  
We all walked outside and enjoyed the sun till it went down.  
"Don't worry, it'll be more fun tomorrow" Ali said as went back inside.  
We stayed up watching movies on the couch and eating popcorn. I guess none of us never made it to our beds because when I woke up everyone was still on the couches, including Jason.  
"Oh hey, you're up" Alison said stretching.  
I don't know why but every time she stretches I get this huge urge to hug her.  
I would of loved to cuddle up beside her right now on this couch and do absolutely nothing but feel her embrace. I can't stress it enough how much it hurts but yet, how good it feels to be in love with someone.

I looked at my watch.  
"Wow, Ali, it's 8am, no one will be up till like 10am"  
"Then let's go for a ride" she said getting up. She walked downstairs and I followed her. We got dressed and she put on her helmet. She handed me on and I refused.  
"Can I just sit behind you?" I asked.  
"You don't want to ride?" She asked surprised.  
"I rather ride with you" I said smiling.  
"Ok, let's go" she said returning the smile.  
Ali got on her atv and I got on after her. This is so awkward, where do I put my hands? Around her or holding the bars on the atv? I rather hold her. She roared the engine to life and we took off. Damn, she rides fast. I grabbed the back of her shirt for safety the whole time.  
She took us through this beautiful lot. There was a beach right near it and a bunch of pine trees, the ground was completely dirt and covered with broken branches. Once Ali turned off the engine we walked to the beach and sat down in the sand. It was still early in the morning, the lake looks so peaceful and blue.  
"Wow" I said taking away.  
"I know" she said.  
We sat there for awhile and during that time we somehow ended up having our fingers locked into each others with the warm sand beneath us. Ali eventually got up and since she had my hand, she pulled me up too.  
"I could stay here forever with you but we should go back now before they realize were gone" Ali said.  
We hopped on the atv and the ride back felt more bumpy. I had to grip my hands onto Ali's back the whole time.  
Once we got back Jason was taking out a kayak.  
"You never liked kayaking" Alison said to Jason.  
He looked back "you're right. That's why I'm taking it down for your friends. They wanna go"  
Aria, Spencer, and Hanna walked out through the front door in their banning suits.  
Alison looked at me and said  
"We only have two kayaks, I guess they can go in them first. Wanna go in the canoe?"  
"Won't we tip?" I asked.  
Jason came back up and walked up behind Ali.  
"I'll canoe with you guys"  
Ali turned around and pushed him  
"No you won't. I'm going with Emily, not Hanna" I pointed at Hanna "look, she's already leaving, you better go run"  
"Fuck off, I don't like her. She's what 15? I'm 22"  
"Nop, she's 16, she failed a grade. One day she'll be 18 and you'll be 24. It's not that bad" Alison said.  
"Stop. And let's go canoeing already" Jason said losing his nerve.  
"We have to get ready first" Alison replied.  
"Fine. But if you're longer than 10 minutes I'm taking the canoe and going by myself" he said walking away.  
We got changed and ended up running down to the dock in fear that Jason would leave without us.  
"Don't just stand there, get in" he said to us.  
I sat in the middle.  
"Do I paddle too or?" I asked.  
Jason laughed and said  
"Leave it to me and Ali"  
We got halfway away from the cottage and took a break.  
A boat was coming near us for the dozenth time.  
"Now wouldn't it be funny" Jason said putting the paddle in the canoe "if this canoe all of a sudden tipped with all waves the boat is coming at us with"  
Ali put down her paddle to  
"Jason, don't tip this fucking canoe. I don't want to get wet, that's why I'm in a fucking canoe and not a tube"  
Jason laughed and put all his weight to the one side of the boat as soon as a wave came by at us. The canoe tipped and we all went in. I came back up for air and heard Ali screaming at his brother  
"Like how the fuck are we suppose to get back in now? Ever thought of that" she yelled.  
"Don't be such a baby" Jason said.  
He tried to get back in the canoe but lost his grip. He tried again and again but couldn't get in.  
I swam closer to Ali and put my arms around her waist. She started to smile but then stopped as if she's been caught doing something she shouldn't have.  
"I'll push you up in it" I said spitting water in her face before I went underneath. I moved my hands down to her legs and tried with all my might to push her up out of the water. It worked, I felt her body quickly getting out of the water. I came back up for air and leaned on the canoe. I wiped my face and laughed.  
"Help me up" I said.  
She gave me her hand and pulled. As soon as I got my one leg up I didn't need her help anymore. When I climbed in I said thank you. We grabbed the paddles.  
"Bye Jason, you like swimming. You can swim back" Alison said.  
"Alison! It's far! Alison get back here!" He roared.  
"Love you!" She yelled back.  
Jason started to swim and even though we were ahead, he swims pretty damn fast. We ended up getting back to the dock. Alison and I took the canoe to the deck and left it there.  
"God Alison, you're a bitch" Jason said standing behind us soaking wet.  
"You tipped us, it's what you deserved" Alison said walking away.  
"I'm sorry Jason" I said quietly.  
"I know it's not your fault" Jason said annoyed looking at the back of Ali's head.  
"Emily let's go! Everyone else back and they're probably up front" Alison snapped.  
I quickly walked up to catch up to Ali.  
"Why can't you two get along? Your family, you need your family" I said.  
"You're all the family I need" Alison said and I felt my heart beam with warmth.  
I stopped walking and grabbed her arm  
"I love you" I said. She stared at me and I immediately let out a little smug laugh and so did she, and then we did the thing I most love, the thing I think about every time I'm with her; we hugged.  
The day went by fast, we spent most of the day swimming and listening to music on the dock, and soon it was the next day.  
I don't know how, or maybe I do, but whenever I sleepover with Ali we always end up right next to each other cuddling. It's unfortunate that were sleeping at the time being, but I still love it because I get to be holding the girl I'm in love with and nothing compares to that.  
I awoke to Alison's light breathing from her mouth, it made me smile. My arm was underneath her head and my other arm was on her. I'd hate to wreck this moment and get up but I have to pee. As I was carefully moving my arm from underneath her head, Aria budged in the door  
"Wake up!" She yelled.  
She then saw how close I was to her and grinned. But Ali woke up and sat up.  
"Opps sorry for disturbing" she said winking then closing the door.  
Ali went into the bathroom and came back into the room shortly after  
"What was that about?" She asked scruffing her hair up.  
"Guess she felt bad for waking us up" I lied.  
I looked at my watch.  
"Well shit, it's already 11"  
"Damn" Ali said taking off her pants and putting on jeans  
"Damn" I said too, implying to her.  
I went into the bathroom and got ready in there. I put on short shorts and a Daytona Beach hoodie I got a couple years ago. Ali put on her favorite Lady Gaga tank top and we went upstairs to eat. I prepared ourselves a bowl of cereal.  
"Hey Al, I need help with bringing the seadoo" Jason said walking in.  
"Get Emily to help you. She's strong, I'm not"  
Jason looked at me and I nodded my head and smiled.  
"Ok, I hooked the trailer up to the truck for the seadoo. I'll have to back my truck up to the water then you'll have to do all the unhooking" he said. He got in his truck and I guided him straight down to the water. I unhooked the straps and he yelled out to pull the seadoo out of the water. I did as he said.  
"I'll be right back, just hold it okay? Don't let it float away" he shouted.  
Jason ended up coming back and he got on the seadoo  
"Thanks" he said "do you know how to ride one of these babies?"  
"Sadly no" I said.  
"Ali can, so she could show you. But I'm going for a ride" he said and took off.  
I went back into the cottage and took a pop from the fridge. Everyone was in their banning suit, again.  
"Wheres Jason?" Ali asked.  
"He went for a little ride" I said.  
"I want to go tubing with you guys. We need Jason to drive the boat for us. He better come back soon, I'm bored" Alison said.  
I got in my bikini and then we all sat on the couch for about fifteen minutes. We heard a purr and looked out the window. Jason's back.  
Ali got up and we all followed, she grabbed a huge tube and we went down to the dock.  
I sat at the end of the dock with Spencer and we dipped our feet into the lake.  
"Jason, can you take us boating?" Alison asked.  
"Sure"  
"Who wants to go first?" Ali asked us.  
"I'm fine with just a boat ride for right now" said Hanna twirling her hair.  
"Me too" Spencer said.  
Aria looked at me and Alison and smiled. She put her hand on my back and her other hand on Ali's back.  
"You two should go together" she said and pushed us together in front of her. Ali ended up holding her hands out in front of her and held me by my waist. But we still bumped heads and Aria said  
"Opps, have fun" and went on the boat.  
We put on our life jackets.  
Ali attached a rope to the back of the boat and Jason got in and started to drive the boat out into the lake. Ali threw the tube into the water and jumped in onto the tube.  
"Hurry Em so Jason doesn't have to cut off the engine!"  
I licked my lips and jumped onto the tube practically landing on Alison.  
She let out a cry of pain but then started to laugh.  
"Oh my god Ali, I never done this before and I'm shaking. Feel my legs, I'm shaking" I squeaked.  
Alison rubbed her leg on my leg and I stopped shaking right away and I suddenly became filled with a feeling of pleasure. But then Jason kicked the boat into a shift and we started to go fast. I felt the adrenaline pump through my body and me and Ali started to laugh.  
"Wooooooo!" Me and Ali shouted.  
"This is fucking awesome!" I yelled.  
"I know right?" Ali yelled back.  
It was even awesome when Jason went too fast turning around and we went flying off the tube and crashing hard into the water. I wish that moment was on video, I was not using the word "flying" lightly. We went high up in the air above the water for at least five seconds before crashing back in.  
Jason stopped the boat and waited for us to get back on. We could hear them all laughing from here. Ali gave them the finger.  
"That hurt like a bitch" I laughed.  
"Oh my, I know" Alison said laughing too.  
We went back to the cottage and Aria and Spencer ended up going next, and I ended up going again after them with Hanna.  
It was really fun tubing and watching the other girls tube. It's moments like this that mean the most. You don't need to go to a $300 concert to have a good time. Being up north with your friends, enjoying the sun, the wilderness, the lake, is one of the best things in the world. Sure there's a lot of fun things to do in life, but being at a cottage has to be the number one on the list. I can see now why Ali always talked about her cottage, because it's completely amazing.  
We spent the fourth day riding around on the atvs and we had a fire during the night.

When I woke up the next morning, Ali wanted to go for another ride with me. I got on the back of the atv and we went on the really sketchy road full of huge rocks.  
"Do you see it?" Ali yelled.  
"See what?" I yelled back.  
10 minutes later I saw it. We got of the atv and I was in awe.  
"This is beautiful" I said  
The sun was shining down on the water, a rainbow appeared in the waterfall, and the grass was as green an apple. You could hear the waterfall pouring into the water, and the birds chirping.  
Ali took off her skirt and shirt and jumped in the water. I took off my clothes too and jumped in after her. We swam to the underneath of the waterfall.  
"This is perfect, I love this" I said  
"Me too. I really wanted to come here with you"  
I smiled at her and we dropped our knees into the water. Alison ducked, I know this game. I ducked too and we came back up we both spat our water at each other.  
We ended up laying on the grass, drying off and enjoying the quiet and the beauty of this place.  
By the time we got back to the cottage it was 1 in the afternoon. Aria and Spencer were in the shed playing darts.  
"Were did you guys go? Hanna and Jason are all waiting for us down at the dock" Spencer said.  
"Oh?" Ali said "where are we going?"  
"Jason wants to jump off the rock" Aria said.  
Ali and I quickly took off our wet clothes and got into our banning suits.  
We got in the boat and about twenty minutes later Jason threw an anchor in the water and jumped out with a life jacket on. Alison, Spencer, and Aria did too. But me and Hanna stayed in the boat.  
"C'mon you two!" Spencer called out.  
"I don't do heights" Hanna said.  
"What about you Emily? Or are you just scared?" Spencer mocked.  
"I'm not scared!" I said.  
"Then come" Ali said.  
I put on a life jacket and jumped out of the boat.  
"Hey guys! Watch this!" Jason shouted.  
Jason was up at the very top and hanging onto a rope. He started to run and flew into the air hanging on to the rope. Three seconds later he let go of the rope and landed in the water.  
"Woooooooo!" He shouted and it echoed the whole lake.  
I swam to the stairs and got up.  
"Let's all jump together" Ali said.  
We all connected hands and like always, I was holding Ali's hand and we jumped in.  
"Who wants to go up on the rope like Jason did?" Ali asked.  
"I'll pass" I said quickly.  
Spencer and Aria shook their heads and Ali ended up going up with her brother.  
Ali screamed on her way down and we all laughed. Once she hit the water she came back up for air and laughed too.  
"That was insane!" She said.  
We stayed at the rocks for a good two hours before we went back to the cottage and ate dinner.  
Jason cracked open a Palm Bay after dinner and handed us all one.  
"I'll go start a fire in the back this time"  
All of us put on sweaters and went outside with our drinks.  
As the night went on Jason shared all his palm bays with us and we ended up getting a little tipsy.  
We were all singing and dancing by the fire, enjoying this beautiful night and all the beautiful stars shinning up in the sky.

"Too bad we're leaving tomorrow" Ali said stretching in bed the next morning.  
There was a knock on the door and then Jason entered.  
"We need to take all our garbage to the dump. I hooked up the shit to the atvs. Hanna wants to come with me. Do you want to drive the other atv? Aria and Spencer are still sleeping. Hopefully we can come back before the wake up" Jason said shutting the door.  
When Ali finished getting dressed I looked at her and said  
"Wow no make up? This has to be the first time I've seen you without make up on"  
She started to walk back in the bathroom but I grabbed her arm.  
"You don't need any on Ali, you already look beautiful"  
Ali smiled at me shyly and moved her hair out of her face. She started to walk again and I slapped her ass and ran away.  
When we got outside she locked me in her arms and called me a shit head.  
Jason got on the atv and Hanna sat on the back.  
Me and Ali both winked at her and she laughed. They ended up flying out of here and we didn't get to the dump till fifteen minutes after.  
"How'd it feel riding my dust?" Jason asked taking off his helmet.  
Ali didn't say anything and quickly unhooked the two garbage bags.  
I walked with her and Hanna stayed on the back of the atv. We got to the pit and I let out a loud  
"Oh my god!"  
There was a fucking bear right there. Right fucking there. It's going to kill us.  
"Oh ya, there's bears in here. But don't worry, they're content with all the garbage we leave them. They love us" Ali said laughing.  
The bear sat down and it looked really funny. He moved his hand and Ali said  
"Ahw look, he's saying hey"  
Jason came by and literally walked right down the slope of the pit and gave the bear his two fucking garbage bags. He ran back up and said  
"I love bears"  
"Me too" Ali said walking away "Emily hurry up"  
I paced myself after her and then we got on the atv.  
"You might want to hold on" she said turning on the engine.  
I get it, she wants to beat her brother.  
We took off and five minutes later I saw Jason and Hanna behind us.  
"They're right behind us!" I yelled.  
Ali looked in her mirrors and pushed her hand all the way down on the atv button. I was quite terrified but yet excited, we were going so fast, and I had my hands wrapped around Ali's body.  
We got back to the cottage and ended up beating Jason by a minute.  
"Now how did my dust taste?" Ali said sticking out her tongue.

The day went on and we went for a final boat ride and got ice cream. Ali drove us there. We went in the lake for the last time too, and called it a night.  
Once me and Ali went downstairs to go to bed she put a movie on and we ended up talking to each other till we fell asleep.  
"Thanks so much for inviting me, I had so much fun" I said.  
"We can go again maybe just the two of us" Ali said.  
I smiled at her and drifted off to sleep.

We woke up at 9 in the morning and didn't get back home till 7 at night.  
"Thanks!" I said again to Ali and Jason when they dropped me off. I missed Ali as soon as I got out of the car.  
I use to think love wasn't real, I never believed the romantic books I read. I never thought I would ever find someone in my life that I feel so inevitable to.

Reblog


	7. Tiger Fair

*Alison's side*

"I'm bored out of my mind!" Shouted Spencer crashing on her bed.  
"Me too" Emily said.  
Me thre-" Hanna began to say but I cut her off  
"We're all bored, ok? Maybe we should do something. Hey wait! Isn't today July 14th? That's the date of the Tiger Fair!" I said sitting up.  
All the girls sat up too.  
"I can get Melissa to drive us, she'd be thrilled to go" Spencer beamed.  
She headed for the door.  
"Wait Spence, are you really gonna go looking like _that_? We all need to get changed" I stated.  
Spencer turned around and threw her top in Aria's face. Everyone started to take their clothes off but me. I was too busy staring at Emily. I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away. I felt beads of sweat appearing on my face. I looked down at her legs, I wish I could touch them, I wish I could slowly move my hands up her legs. They look so firm and…  
"Ali…?" Emily said looking at me.  
Fuck. Out of all the times she could have caught me staring at her why did it have to be front of our friends?  
"I'm sorry" I don't know what else to say, what am I suppose to say?  
_Oh hey Em I was just checking out your body, you have a nice ass, we should fuck._

"Sorry" I repeated flushing with embarrassment.  
All the girls were looking at me with a stern face. I've never felt so mad in my life. I don't care what any of them thinks, if they want to accuse me of checking her out then I'll never talk to them again.  
"Wait… Did you just… Apologize?" Spencer said sounding confused.  
"I think she said sorry twice!" Aria exclaimed.  
I thought they were going to say something about me checking Emily out, but instead; they focus on me apologizing.  
"I don't think I've ever heard Ali say sorry! Not even once!" Hanna squeaked.  
"Ok shut up. Just shut up. I've never said sorry in front of you guys before because I've never needed too. It's not like I'm a horrible teenager who doesn't have any manners" I explained.  
No one replied and they all looked away but Emily. She managed to put a tank top on with a green and black plaid shirt and tight black jeans throughout the conversation. She turned around and picked up a bag from the floor - my bag. She sat on the bed with me and went through my bag. She pulled out a plain white crop top and black short shorts.  
"You should wear this" she said.  
"Hurry up Alison, you're such a slowpoke. Will be waiting downstairs. C'mon Em" Aria said.  
Emily smiled at me then walked away.  
I got dressed as quick as I could. I sat down at Spencer's dresser and started to do my makeup in her mirror. I saw a figure in the background and I dropped the mascara while I was applying it. I jumped around.  
"Oh Jesus Aria! You scared the shit out of me!" I snapped.  
I sat back down and looked in the mirror. I got mascara near my eyebrows. I wiped it off while Aria just stared at me.  
"Are you trying to practice becoming a creep? Because you're doing a great job" I said.  
"What's up with you and Emily?" She asked ignoring my insult.  
"Excuse me?" I said sounding more defensive than I should have.  
"You two seem awfully close. Closer than the rest of us"  
"She's my best friend"  
"No, no. That's not it. You see, you don't look at one of your best friends with desire in your eyes when their changing. You don't look at one of your best friends with love in your eyes every time you see them. And you especially don't smile at someone who's just a friend the way you two do" Aria stated.  
I feel like crying. Usually I'm just pissed off when someone accuses me. But now, now I'm actually sad. I started to cry, which is something I've never done in front of anyone.  
Aria saw me and she started to talk again  
"Alison, it's okay. I won't tell anyone, your secret is safe with me. I just wanted to know the truth. I would do anything for a person to look at me the way you two look at each other. Ali, it's cute. I think she likes you too, maybe you should tell her how you feel"  
"No. I won't. I can't. You can't either. Please just don't tell anyone. Just pretend this never happened. I didn't want you to know" I said.  
She got a Kleenex and dabbed at my eyes. She smiled at me and said one last thing before walking away.  
"You can't hide your love for someone, you can try, but you can't"

We arrived at the fair an hour later.  
"Ok brats, will meet right here at midnight. Got it? Good. No earlier, no later" Melissa said and walked away.  
"Gotta love her!" Aria said.  
The fair is huge. It's one of the most traditional fairs in LA. Wherever you walk there's always something around you. From concert stages, to photo booths, food stands and ticket stands, Ferris wheels, drop zones, a backwards roller coaster, and spiny rides, game booths and booths with accessories and pointless things, arts and crafts, live circus shows and fireworks at the end of the night.  
Aria came up by my side and whispered in my ear  
"I know you'd want to be here with just Emily so we'll come up with something"  
"What? No Aria, I wanna be with all of you guys" I said to her.  
"I know, but it would be more fun being here with someone you love. Announce that you have to go to the washroom and insist for Emily to join you. I'll say; will wait here for you two and after ten minutes I'll tell the other girls that they probably got lost and we should just enjoy our night"  
I smiled. "Ok, thanks Aria"

"You guys, I gotta go to the washroom" I said loudly. "Wait here, I'll be right back. Em come with me"  
Me and Emily linked arms and walked away.  
"I don't have to go anymore. Wanna go on the Ferris wheel? Just me and you?" I said winking.  
"Oh Ali, you and your plans" she said laughing.  
I bought tickets and we went on the Ferris Wheel, drop zone, and the roller coaster.  
"Hey, I got two left. Wanna go on the Ferris wheel again?" I said.  
"Yeah" she said.  
We got on the cart, the third time around it got stuck and we were at the very top.  
"Oh my god, look how high up we are!" Emily shirked. "Why are we stopped? This didn't happen last time. I thought it was one of those Ferris wheels that don't stop. I don't like being this high. Did you know they set these rides up in like a week? Just a week! They're not safe! Oh my god!" Emily rambled.  
"Em, it's okay. Will be okay" I said grabbing her hand.  
"I'm not scared! Just worried!" Emily said.  
"I know, don't worry this thing will start-up again in no time" and right when I said it; it started to work again.  
"You some kind of future teller?" Emily said laughing and I laughed too.  
By the time we were getting off the ride we both realized that we were still holding hands. We both blushed and let go. Emily jumped up on my back and told me to carry her to the candy apple booth.  
"But that's so far, and you're so heavy" I joked. I started to pretend to fall and she kept hitting me. She jumped off my back.  
"Oh thank god!" I said letting out a breath.  
"You're so weak Ali, I'll give you a piggy back ride further than the candy apple booth" she said.  
I got up on her back and she was walking so quickly  
"Woa there muscles" I said laughing.  
She went one step further than the booth and I applaud her.  
We got cotton candy and candy apples. We sat on the grass watching some local band perform on stage redoing AC/DC songs. The band started to perform Thunderstruck and everyone started dancing, including me and Em.  
About halfway through the song, I picked up my cotton candy and threw pieces of it at Em.  
"You better stop!" She yelled.  
"Or what?" I yelled back throwing another piece.  
She smiled at me and tried to grab me but I started to run. Though, there's no chance. Emily's the ultimate runner. My flee lasted for twelve seconds before she caught me and picked me up in her embracing arms.  
There are so many moments I've shared with Emily where it feels like the whole world around us stops and the only thing that's still moving is _us_. She picked me up and we were both laughing, staring into each other's eyes. Her eyes, they look like there glowing with sparkles dazzling around and her smile makes the night feel ravishing.  
She lightly threw me to the ground and she crashed on top of me. We were still laughing and then she started to tickle me.  
"No…Em… Don't! I hate… It… So much!" I said in between laughs.  
I kicked her in the stomach and she fell off me. I got on top of her and started tickling her. It didn't last long, Emily's much stronger than me so she tackled me again. She started tickling me again and I started throwing grass at her.

"There you two are!" Hanna said laughing. "Did you guys get drunk again or something?"  
I grabbed Hanna's leg and pushed her down.  
"You're so dead Ali!" She yelled.  
She came towards me and I guarded myself and screamed  
"Get her!"  
Emily started throwing pieces of cotton candy from her hair at her. Aria joined in and Spencer just sat on the grass looking at us like we're retarded. Hanna sneaked up behind her and give her a noogie. We all laughed until our stomachs hurt and eventually we got up and went to go watch the fireworks.  
Emily kept shivering and rubbing her arms.  
"Are you actually cold?" I asked.  
"It's chilly!" She said.  
I smiled at her and grabbed her arm.  
"Will be right back!" I called out to the rest of the girls.  
We walked around till I found a booth with a bunch of sweaters. I saw a lime green one that said Tiger Fair 2012. I bought it and handed it over to Emily.  
"For you" I said.  
"Aw Alison, you didn't have to" she said.  
"I wanted too" I replied smiling.  
By the time we got back to the girls we ended up walking to where we were suppose to meet Melissa.  
"I told you guys not to be late!" She said angrily.  
"Melissa" Spencer said turning on her phone "it's 12:01"  
"Exactly. Late" she said turning around.  
We all silently laughed and followed her.

I went to bed that night, again at Spencer's house with everyone else, thinking about what Aria said. I can't believe she knows. I was always good at hiding how I feel and now she knows. Maybe I should cool it down. I wish there was a way I could just stop loving Emily, but even just thinking about that makes me depressed. How could I ever stop loving Emily? How could anyone stop loving the person they're meant to be with? Once I shook that thought off, I started thinking about Emily herself. I immediately got warmer and felt a smile appear on my face. She's so beautiful, I could tell you to picture the most beautiful thing in the entire world and whatever you pictured, it isn't even as close to as beautiful as Emily is.


	8. Neck Kissing

*Emily's side*  
I spent the rest of my summer hanging out with Ali and the girls. We went to amusement parks, the beach, concerts, walks, and more.  
Now I'm back in school and I've never been so bored.

Grade ten here we go.  
"Oh Emily" I heard a familiar voice say.  
I turned around and saw Alison in her brand new boots, black jeans, and a cut off T-shirt.  
"First day of school, first day of cheerleading practice" she said.  
"Oh yay" I said sarcastically.

"You can't be the captain anymore, I'm in grade 12 and I demand to be in charge" Sydney Flinch said to Alison, putting her Pom Pom's on her hips.  
"Oh Sydney, let's face it, I'm better than you" Ali said looking down at her nails.  
I stepped beside Ali incase anything got nasty. It's not best to piss Alison off, because she can get dangerous when she is.  
"No. You're not. You're nothing but a skinny whore who's fucking the quarterback" Sydney spat right in Ali's face.  
Ali brought her hands up on Sydney's shoulders and flew her down on the ground. Ali landed on top of her and lifted Sydney's body up so she could slam it back down on the grass. She punched her in the face three times before the teacher interrupted.  
Mrs Hannisle blew her whistle for what seemed like forever.  
"Alison Dilaurentis get off her right now!" She said in the most vicious tone I've ever heard.  
Mrs. Hannisle and the coach on the football team dragged Ali off of Sydney.  
Ali was being held back by the teachers but she managed to bark out a few words  
"I've never fucked anyone, you're the fucking whore!"  
I saw Sydney smile, I walked above her before I caught up to Ali, who was getting led back in the gym.  
"Wipe that ugly smile off your face or I'll make you. No teachers are here to stop me"  
Sydney spit on the ground. I walked away and yelled out  
"Real lady like"

I saw Alison walking with the coach towards the main office.  
"Emily, go tell the girls practice is over" Mrs. Hannisle said walking my way.  
I walked past her and she called out my name. I ignored her.  
I caught up to Alison and the coach. Ali's whole entire face was red. It looked like she was fighting back the urge to cry.  
"Sir, she had it coming to her. Ali was only protecting herself" I said loudly.  
"Violence is not the answer" the coach said.  
"Coming from you? Coming from the football coach? Coming from a guy who gets joy out of seeing other schools get crushed?" I said with so much confidence in my voice.  
He stopped walking right in front of the principle's office which made Ali and I stop walking.  
"What Alison did was not a sport. Football is a sport that involves that. Getting into a fight about cheerleading does not make it ok for Ali to attack her" Coach stated. "Now go"  
"No. I'm going to wait for her" I said sitting on the bench.

*Alison's side*  
"Alison Dilaurentis, you are hereby, suspended for 5 days" The principal announced sitting in his black leather chair.  
I didn't say anything, I couldn't. I got up and reached for the door.  
"One more thing, miss Dilaurentis" he said pointing his index finger up "do not come back to this school if you plan on doing what you did again"  
I took a final look at him then slammed the door.  
"Ali! Are you okay? What happened?" Emily cried.  
Nothing, I got suspended, let's g-"  
"Miss Dilaurentis, don't ever slam my door again" Mr. Phillipson said coming out of his office.  
"Sir, with all due respect, you just suspended her, for defending herself, she has a reason to be mad" Emily said with a bold tone.  
"I am not talking to you Miss Fields" Mr. Phillipson said impatiently.  
"But I'm talking to you. I have spent too many years in school getting put down from teachers, principals, and coaches. Who cares if we speak out in class? Who cares if we get into fights when were getting bullied? God who the hell cares? The only thing I've learned from school is that the staff only noticeses you when you do bad things. We never get called out for doing good things. You make it seem like we're horrible people, that were just useless teenagers who cause trouble. That's not the case. Alison gets straight A's, Alison volunteers on the weekend for the community, Alison donates money to charity, Alison helps me with my homework, Alison makes me feel happy when I'm sad, Alison is the only person in this entire world that I've had the pleasure of befriending because she is remarkable. There's a difference between bullying and sticking up for yourself. So instead of suspending Ali for defending herself and making her report look bad for her future maybe you should be outside right now in the courtyard seeing all the senior boys smoking pot, or maybe you should be checking the lockers upstairs near the science room because people bring knives to school. Maybe, just maybe, you should actually suspend the bad people and not the good people"  
The principal and Alison both looked at me with the most shocked face.  
I grabbed Ali's arm and started to walk.  
"One moment please" Mr. Phillipson called out.  
We both turned around to see him with his arms on his hips.  
"Alison, it's my job to call your parents to inform them of your behavior. Fighting is never the solution. If I catch you doing what you've just done, I will suspend you next time" he said and walked back into his office.

I jumped up and down and then I hugged Emily.  
"Oh my god Em! I love you so much!" I shirked.  
Emily laughed and placed her head on top of mine.  
I moved my head towards her neck and tightened my grip on her back. I couldn't help myself, she smelt like apple cinnamon, I pressed my lips against her neck and kissed. I put my left hand on the other side of her neck and continued kissing. She leaned her head down and I felt her kiss the back of my neck. Her hands were around my waist and just as I was about to drag my tongue against her beautiful skin, I stopped.

_What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened. What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Do._

I pulled away from Emily, I saw her dilated pupils and I sucked down a huge gulp.  
"Um…" I said.  
Emily lifted up her arm and pulled it to the back of her head and started to scratch her hair.  
"I gotta go" I said and ran off.


	9. It's all right

*Emily's side*  
"Alison! Hey! Can we talk!" I shouted out to her as I saw her walking down the hall.  
She turned around "not here, not now"  
I looked at her upset. She smiled grimly and said "come to my house after school"

I walked in to her white peachy house, filled with furniture all the way to her bedroom.  
"About yesterday…" I started to say.  
"Oh yeah, my mom and dad were pretty mad" Alison said laughing nervously.  
She _knows_ what I'm talking about. Yesterday, Alison kissed my neck, in school. I don't know what triggered her to do that, but it felt so good, it felt so right. I started to kiss hers too. Her neck felt so smooth, so kissable. I never felt so alive. But then she stopped, and it was over. Before I could say anything she ran off and she was ignoring me for the last few days.  
"But I can ask them if you can sleepover" Ali continued.  
"Um, I meant…" _Fuck it, there's no other way to say it_ "we kissed each other's necks Alison"  
_And it felt great,_ I wanted to say.  
Alison did that face she does when she doesn't know what to say or think. She moved in her jaw and clamped her top teeth on her bottom teeth.  
She laughed nervously and said "I don't know what/why that happened. I was just happy that you saved me from getting suspended. I'm sorry. Let's never talk about it again ok?"  
"Ok" I said trying not to sound too sad. "I need to go home, my mom needs help cleaning" I lied.  
Alison got up and opened her door. We gave each other and awkward hug before I walked down her wood stained stairs.

*Alison's side*  
It's December. Emily and I haven't communicated for a week. It doesn't seem that long, but it feels like 2 whole years have passed by. Ever since the kiss, we've been distant.  
"Ali!" Aria shouted coming down the stairs at school "wait up!"  
I stopped walking and leaned up on a locker.  
"Hey" I said smiling.  
"You and Emily seem… Off? Did you have a fight?" She asked with a lot of curiosity.  
I straightened up and started walking to the bathroom, motioning for her to follow me.

"It's nothing" I said sitting up on the bathrooms sink.  
"Ali, you can trust me" she said.  
I crossed my arms around myself and thought about telling her the truth. She leaned up against the wall and I hanged my head down looking at my moccasins boots rocking back and forth.  
"We kissed" I said placidly.  
I saw her open her mouth and I began to talk again "on each other's necks. It was really weird, but nice. We haven't talk much since, I don't know, it's so awkward"  
"You guys are best friends and you two should talk it out or make out" Aria said giggling.  
"Ha. Ha. Not funny" I sighed.  
"Want me to see if she likes you?" Aria asked with a wicked grin on her face.  
I jumped off the sink, hurting my feet, by pounding them to the tile floor "No! Never! What the fuck Aria!"  
She came closer to me and twirled my hair.  
"Okay, okay, calm down" she said, still twirling my hair.  
"Ok" I said awkwardly pulling away from her but someone opened the door and already saw us.  
"Oh" Emily said.  
I twirled around and shifted uncomfortably.  
"Hey Em!" Aria beamed.  
She gave a nod and walked into the bathroom stall.  
Aria kept nudging for me to go, I kept resisting but then we heard the toilet flush and she pushed me out of the bathroom.  
_Bitch._

*Emily's side*  
I opened the bathroom stall door and Aria was right on top of me. She startled me and I backed back into the stall, almost bumping into the toilet.  
"Oh sorry" she said moving back.  
I stepped out and placed my hands under the sink. Through the mirror I could see her staring at me with a restless look on her face.  
I rolled my eyes and spun around.  
"Aria. What the fuck is it?"  
"Nothing. Nothing" she said, changing her expression that read "I don't know what to do or say"  
I watched her quickly walk out the bathroom and I felt genuinely confused.

Fourth period was brutal. Who really wants to spend 75 minutes listening to a teacher ramble on about ancient bullshit?

I guess I dozed off in the middle of the period because when Mr. Fitz called me, I jumped up my body in my seat.  
"Emily Fields!" Mr. Fitz called out "your partner is Alison Dilaurentis"  
_Fuck. _  
I looked at Alison and we gave each other an awkward smile.  
She walked over to me and pulled up a chair.  
"I'm thinking that; I can be the one to gather the Internet sources and historical background" she said reaching for her MacBook Air.  
"Huh? What are we even doing" I asked.  
She pointed down at my paper that read  
"Ancient Greek assignment"  
I flipped through the papers and looked back up at Ali.  
"Do you want to do the marriage topic or the death ceremony?" She asked me.  
This felt weird. We usually never actually talk or do our homework until it's the day before we have to hand it in.  
"Marriage. If you got the sources and the background, I guess that leaves me with the preparation and pictures for the wedding" I said naïvely.

Alison and I presented our assignment in front of the class a few weeks later and got our grade back today. B plus. Normally, I get in the 90s but ever since we started the assignment, Ali and I became close again, so we were off focus.

Ali and I did everything together during winter. We went to the formal dance together, and danced the night away. We built snowman's, skated, drink hot cocoa, sat by the fire, watched hockey, and went snowboarding a couple of times.

The snow started to fall of the trees, the sun melted the mushy brown snow off the ground, and just like that, it was spring.  
_Splash! _  
"ALI! What the fuck! I'm gonna kill you!"  
She jumped into a huge puddle on the sidewalk and soaked me.  
She started to laugh her heart out, I turned around and heard her fall silent.  
I grinned.  
"Em, I'm sorry. I won't do it again" she said sincerely.  
I turned around and walked back up to her. I gave her a shy smile and stepped in for a hug right behind the puddle. I placed my hand on her stomach and yanked her back until she was halfway down beneath the puddle.  
"No! Don't!" She yelled as I lightly let go off her.  
Now I was the one laughing like a maniac.  
"Not fair" she said getting up.

I couldn't help but stop laughing to admire how beautiful she looks even when her hair is soaking wet and all tangled.  
She interrupted my thoughts as she approached me opening up her arms.  
"Come here" she said with a wicked smile.  
Hey, what the hell. I'd hug her even if she smelt like cow poo.  
She embraced me in her arms and I squirmed.  
"You're freezing!" I shrieked.  
"I need to change" First one back to my place is the most fabulous person ever" she said starting to run.

Usually I beat her when it comes to running, but if there's anybody in this world that's fabulous, it's _her._


	10. Summer Already? Party Time

*Alison's side*  
I fell onto my bed laughing.  
"I can't believe _YOU_ only passed gym with a 72 percent"  
"It's not funny you asshole. I'm not even good at sports. I'm just good at running and swimming. That's why I'm going to take fitness next year" Emily sobbed.  
I brushed a tear off my face from laughing and looked at her. I started to laugh again and she threw a book right at me.  
I let out a long howl and shook my arm widely.  
"OWWWW! Emily, chill the fuck out! I was just joking with you! You know I think you're amazing, you bitch" I cried out.  
Emily pulled a face I couldn't quite read. She bit her lip and looked longingly into my eyes.  
"Stop it" I mumbled rubbing my arm.  
Emily sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed my arm.  
"I'm sorry" she said rubbing my arm softly.  
I put my hand on her cheek and slowly made my way behind her neck. I leaned my head in towards her.

*Emily's side*  
I leaned my head in towards Alison. We're so close. I can smell her strawberry breath. I tilted my head and closed my eyes.  
"Alison!" Jason said barging into her bedroom.  
We both jumped away from each other at the same time.  
Jason's face immediately turned into a huge grin.  
"I always thought you two liked each other a little too much" he said happily but creepy.  
Alison sneered at him "we weren't doing anything you creep"  
"Mom and dad wouldn't care if you were gay Ali, you know that. They have gay friends themselves" Jason said sounding bored now.  
Alison got up and shoved him.  
"I'm not gay!" She screamed.  
"Okay. Okay. Whatever. I need my money" he said defensively.  
"I'll give it to you later" she said opening up the door. She pushed him out and before Ali closed the door I heard Jason say  
"You two are cute!"

"I'm so sorry" Alison said as she sat down on her chair in the corner of her room.  
"It's okay. I should go anyways" I said as I got up.  
Ali got up too and made her way towards me. She wrapped her arms around me and I gave her a tight squeeze. I smiled at her then made my exit.

It's nearly 9pm and I've been laying in my bed, staring at my ceiling, reminiscing what happened earlier. Maybe I should just go to bed.  
_Bang! - bang! _  
Oh my god, someone's in my house, my parents aren't even home I started to think, but right after I heard a voice follow over saying  
"Fuck! Damn that hurt"  
Alison stood at my doorway and her beautiful blue eyes were glistening at me. She wrapped her arms around herself and said  
"Come on let's go"  
I took off the covers and stuttered a bit.  
"W-where are we going? H-how did you get in here?"  
"To a party, I'm bored. And did you forget that there's a key underneath your door mat? Come on, get dressed" She said impatiently.  
"Alison I don't feel like going out" I said shyly  
She moved towards me and touched my arm, but it was enough to make every inch of my shiver with delight. She smiled at me and it felt as if my heart was melting, I couldn't help but smile back. She moved a piece of my hair out of my face and held her hand behind my neck while she talked  
"It's a celebration party for the beginning of grade eleven. It'll be fun we have to go."  
"Where is it?" I asked.  
"Noel Kahn's cottage" she said.  
I gave her a wry look.  
"Oh Emily, he's fine, he invited all of us. But Hanna, Spencer, and Aria are god knows where so it's just us" Alison said.  
I got up and went into my closet to pick out a tank top and a red flannel shirt, with black leggings.

*Alison's side*  
I checked my phone earlier and saw Noel Kahn text me about party details at his cottage. Shortly after I went over to get Emily and now I'm waiting for her to get ready. I sat at the end of the bed and played with my fingernails, pretending I was bored while she got ready. It's always so awkward but yet so steamy when she changes in front of me, or I change in front of her. I pretend I'm bored while she gets ready and look away. But the minute she pulls off her top, I look at her. I can't help myself, when you're attracted to someone as much as I am attracted to Emily you want to see every inch of them. I dug my fingernails into my legs and let out a silent breath. Emily's been really into working out lately, she runs every morning and does sit ups like a mad woman, so you can tell that abs are starting to form on her stomach and I honestly can't handle this. I walked out of her room and backed up on the wall  
"Where you going?" She shouted  
"I'll meet you outside. Hurry up!" I replied. I walked outside and sat on her front porch. 10 minutes later she came outside and I announced  
"You're driving"  
We got in her Mazda3 and she put her foot on the accelerator.  
"Why did you run out of my room?"  
I rolled my eyes at her and stated to lie.  
"First of all, I walked out. And secondly, because you were taking so long. I wanted to wait outside"  
I can't admit that I like her, even after all the times we've gotten so close to each other, I just can't. We're the most popular girls in high school, everyone expects me to be straight, and everyone thinks there's something going on between Noel and I. He's the captain on the football team and I'm the head cheerleader.

*Emily's side*  
Shortly after we arrived at the party Ali and I started drinking from red cups. Whatever is in here tastes awful but yet, I keep drinking. This party is intense, it's a mixture of high school students and Noel Kahn's brother, Eric, friends from college. People are in the corner making out, and other people are running around in their underwear.  
"This is great!" Alison shouted at me.  
"Totally" I said sarcastically.  
"C'mon Em. You wanna dance? I love this song!" Alison cheered.  
Telephone by Lady Gaga came on. She grabbed my hand and we went into the center of the room where other people were dancing too. At first I wasn't into it, and just swaying, but then I looked at Ali deeply and I felt my mood change. She looked so happy, she looked so cute, moving her arms around and laughing. It made me laugh too and suddenly, just like that, I started to love being at this party. Ali took a drink from one of the red cups on the ground. She threw the remainder of the cup and put her arms up in the air and shouted  
"Woooo!"  
She turned around and backed up against me and started to move her ass against my front area. I put my arms around her waist and turned her around and she dragged her leg slowly up against my body. If I wasn't feeling so drunk right now, I would have pushed her off me. There's something about feeling a such a strong desire towards someone who makes you weak in your knees by the slightest touch. I wouldn't push Ali off me because I don't like it, but because; I like it too much. But then the song ended and Ali stopped dancing. She wobbled over to a chair and sat down.  
"Em, lem, gem, gem, you are my gem lem, em" she slurred out.  
She's clearly had more alcohol than I have.  
I looked at my watch, it's nearly 3am.

"Maybe we should go home" I said.  
"Whattttt!? Home? We are at a home! She said.  
She reached for another solo cup but I grabbed it out of her hands and gave it to the first person I saw walking by me.  
"I don't want this" he said.  
Someone bumped into him from behind and the remainders of the drink in the cup went all over my shirt. Everyone that saw started to laugh, even Ali. At least my shirt wasn't white.  
"Ok, we're leaving" I said, grabbing Alison's hand. She almost fell over as soon as I grabbed her. I tried to get her to move again but she's way too tipsy to walk on her own. I put her arm around my shoulder and put my arm around her waist  
"C'mon" I said, leading her to the door.  
"Are we going on an adventure? I always wanted to go on an adventure" Alison said sounding as drunk as ever.  
When we got outside I saw pops, water, and a various of drinks in a basket full of ice. I grabbed a water bottle and we started to walk again.  
"Here" I opened the water bottle and held it near Ali's mouth "drink this"  
I poured it into her mouth.  
"That tastes awful" she said and I couldn't help but laugh.  
She finished drinking the water by the time we reached my car. As soon as I was about to lay her in the back seat I heard Noel's voice.  
"Going somewhere?" He asked.  
Ali and I turned around and saw Noel, his brother, and Holden.  
"Just leaving" I replied nervously. I never liked Noel.  
He started to laugh, which made the other two laugh. Then he pulled something out of his jean pocket. A _knife!_ My legs started to tremble and I looked at Ali, she looked scared too.  
"Is that so?" Noel said.  
Noel looked at his brother and Holden and gave them a nod. Next thing I know, the two of them were walking towards Ali and I.  
"What are you doing!" Alison screamed  
"Help!" I screamed as loud as I can and as soon as I did Noel was in front of me with his knife pointing at me. Holden and Noel's brother took Ali and started to walk away. I tried to make a run for it but Noel moved just as quick.  
"Emily!" Alison cried.  
I panicked, I acted quick, I threw my leg up and kicked Noel in the balls as hard as I could. He fell to the ground and I ran. I got halfway before I felt something sharp slice into the left side of my back. I fell to the ground, face first and cried out in excruciating pain.  
"Bitch" Noel hissed as he ran past me.

*Alison's side*  
We've been at the party for nearly two hours now and we've already downed four cups of whatever is in those cups. Shortly after, Lady Gaga came on and when I hear her songs I just have to dance.  
"C'mon Em! You wanna dance? I love this song" I said excitedly  
We went into the living room where everyone else was dancing. I kept drinking &amp; dancing, drinking &amp; dancing. But finally I sat down. And next thing I know Emily is putting her arm around me and dragging me outside.  
"Here" Emily said putting a water bottle to my mouth "drink this"  
I took a swig and said  
"That tastes awful"  
I managed to finish the water and I felt a little more clear, but not much.  
Emily was about to open the back seat but then we heard someone talk.  
"Going somewhere?" Noel Kahn.  
You can't ever replace that slick harsh way he talks. He was with his brother and Holden.  
"Just leaving" Emily said shyly.  
They all started to laugh, and I can't quite make out of it but Noel pulled something out of his pocket  
"Is that so?" Noel replied cooly.  
Noel's brother and Holden started to pace towards us.  
"What are you doing!" I screamed as angrily as I could.  
"Help!" Emily cried.  
Noel came up towards Emily and threatened her with what he pulled out of his pocket, _a knife!_ Tears formed in my eyes, and before I could react, his brother and Holden started to drag me in their arms.  
"Emily!" I cried out.  
I tried looking back, but I couldn't see Emily at all. All I saw was Noel quickly catching up to us. We were back into his house now and Noel said  
"I can take it from here" to his brother and Holden.  
I tried to run away and get attention but everyone here was way too drunk to care. Noel went behind me and ushered me to go up the stairs. Once we got to the top stair I tried to turn around and push him down, but instead he just pushed me to keep going. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bedroom. He locked the door.  
"Why are you doing this?" I pleaded.  
"Shut up!" He yelled and whacked me across the face.  
I started to cry even harder. He rolled his eyes and went to the dresser to put on loud heavy music to drain out my crying. He took off his shirt and pants. He pulled a condom out of his dresser and placed it on his penis when he took off his boxers.  
"Please no!" I screamed.  
He came towards me and pushed me on the bed and ripped off my underwear from underneath my dress. He came on top of me and was about to stick his penis in but I started to scream as loud as I could. As soon as I did, Noel punched me in the face, and my lip started to bleed right away. I tried to punch him back but he grabbed my fist and laughed.  
"Nice try" he said.  
I lifted up my knee as fast as I could and hit him in the stomach. He grunted and rolled over. I got up and ran to the door, I managed to unlock it but he came up from behind me and bashed my head on the door then threw me on the ground. I landed on a box full of hockey cards inside it. I screamed out in pain.  
"You're really starting to piss me off" Noel growled.  
He bent down and pulled me up by my hair. He walked me over to his dresser and pulled out tape.  
"Perfect" he said.  
He put tape around my mouth and then tapped my hands together. He looked at me and smiled.  
"Might as well do it right here, huh sunshine?" He lifted me up on his dresser and moved up my dress. He put his hands up my shirt onto my boobs and I started to cry even harder. I felt his dick rub up and down against my clit. Just as soon as he was about to slide it in I saw the door open as quick as lightning and in came, _Emily! _  
"Get away from her" Emily barked.

*Emily's side*  
I watched Noel run away from me while I was crying in pain. I tried to get up but I couldn't. There's only one thing I can do. I reached my right hand to where the knife was and tried pulling it out. I couldn't help but yell in pain. I got it halfway out and I decided to do the last part as quickly as I can.  
"1…2…3…" I counted and then tore out the knife as fast as I could. I screamed one last time as I pulled it out. I lifted myself up, I'm losing all my energy. But I can't leave Ali, I have to save her.  
I walked back to the house as quickly as I could without falling. As soon as I got in, I looked around, everyone in here was passed out on the ground. I aimed for the stairs and started to walk up them slowly. By the time I was upstairs I headed to the door where I heard heavy shitty music playing. To my surprise, the door was unlocked and I staggered in. I saw a naked Noel in front of Ali on the dresser. They both looked at me.  
"Get away from her" I barked.  
I've never been so infuriated in my entire life. I saw a baseball bat in the corner of my eye. Noel started to walk towards me and I grabbed the bat.  
"Woah, woah, woah" Noel said putting his hands up. "If you wanted to join in, all you had to do was ask" he said smiling.  
I whipped that smile off his face as soon as I hit him in the side of his stomach. Now he was the one crying out in pain.  
"Stay down!" I demanded and hit him one more time in the back.  
I went over to Ali, I took off the tape on her mouth and hands. She was shaking and crying so badly. I got her off the dresser and fixed her dress. I turned around and took lead, giving her my hand.  
"Emily, what happened to your back!" She shouted.  
"Ali, later. We have to go. Now" I said. We walked over Noel and Ali let go off my hand. I turned around and saw her kick him right in the face.  
"I hate you" she spat out like venom. She grabbed my hand again and we walked out of the room. When we got to the stairs, I missed a step and fell down the rest of them. I winced in pain. Ali tried to come down as quick as she could to help me, but she was in rough shape herself. I grabbed the railing and lifted myself up.  
"Oh my god? Are you two okay? What the hell happened to you two!" Some girl panicked as she saw us. I think her name is Claire.  
I assume all the racket woke her up.  
"You need to call the police, and the ambulance. Please" I said quietly.  
"Wake up!" Claire shouted. She started moving and nudging people. Five people managed to get up.  
"We need a phone, somebody call the police quick!" Claire panicked.  
"What's going on?" A ginger asked.  
Claire pointed at us, and they all gasped. The ginger immediately pulled out his phone and called 911. Another went into the kitchen. And Claire and the other two walked towards us.  
"We can't stay here!" Ali protested.  
"There still in here! He's still up there!"  
"Who? Tell me what happened." One of the older guys said.  
Ali started to shake badly again and I wrapped my arms around her and started to speak.  
"Noel Kahn tried to rape her. And he threw a knife in my back. His brother and Holden helped. We don't know where they are. Noel is still up in the room, we hit him with a bat"  
"Stay here" the older guy said and looked at Claire and the other girl, Jane.  
"You two stay with them. I'm going to get my friends and look for Holden, Eric, and his little brother"  
The one guy that went into the kitchen came back with water and gave it to Ali and I. The ambulance arrived ten minutes later and we went into the car. They gave Alison an ice pack for her head and they put me in the bed hooked up to an emergency life saver. They had me stay on my right side.  
"Hang in there" the doctors kept saying to me.  
Ali kept looking at me, I could see tears in her eyes.  
We got to the hospital and I ended up getting stitches. My parents came halfway through and they never looked so worried in their life.  
"My poor baby" My mom said over and over. My dad kept repeating my name.


	11. No

*Emily's side*  
I fell asleep but as soon as I woke up I was in a hospital room with life support. There was tubes on my arms and a breathing mask around my mouth. I took it off and sat up, I tried to shout but it came out as a squeak.  
"Wheres Alison?"  
"Honey, you need to put that back on, will go get your parents" the nurse said.  
"No! Alison? Where's Ali?" I said.  
"Sweetie, calm down" she put the mask back on my mouth and gently pushed me down on the bed.  
The nurse opened the door and left. I had my eyes glued to the hallway hoping Alison would come in.

I saw a girl walk by with beach blonde hair and an older tall guy with grey hair. Alison!  
"Alison!" I tried to shout.  
"Ali!" I tried again.  
The monitor on the screen started to show a sign of increased heart rate.  
I ripped off the tubes on my arm and took off the mask. I got up and nearly fell.  
What is this? Aren't they suppose to make my back feel better? It feels worse and it's killing me to move.  
As much as it hurts I walked as fast as I could out of that room. I saw Alison heading towards the elevator.  
"Alison! Ali! Alison!" I tried screaming as loud as I could three times.  
"Alison I love you!" I admitted out loud.  
But it was too late. She turned around as the elevator doors opened and her father took her by the arm and the door closed. The last thing I remember is seeing Ali distraught and then my parents and nurses rushing to me because I was falling to the floor.  
In that moment I felt the world freeze, everything around me was frozen. I felt my heart slowing down, I felt my whole life falling apart. They all said I fell because of loss of blood and energy. But it wasn't. I watched her leave and it _broke_ my heart. I fell because that's exactly what happened; I fell in love, and she left me. I fell to the floor from the feeling of my heart being shattered. Now I know why so many people would rather fall off a bridge than fall in love.

July 12th, 2013  
I got out of the hospital yesterday. I haven't spoken a word since I saw Alison leave.

I walked up to the familiar door I see almost every day. I rang the doorbell and waited.  
"Oh Emily!" Mrs. Dilaruentis cried "what are you doing here, you should be resting!"  
I looked at her longingly into her eyes and then she stepped outside shutting her door.  
"Emily, sweetheart. She's not here anymore. Her father took her to a private school in Pennsylvania. They won't be coming back. I'm so sorry" she tried to hug me but I walked away.  
I feel numb. I didn't realize I was crying till I walked through my front door and saw my reflection in the hallway mirror. I can't feel anything.

July 15th, 2013  
I haven't eaten since July 11th. Hospital food. It was gross. To tell you the truth, I've lost my appetite. I haven't slept since July 12th. I'm losing my mind. I haven't spoken a word since July 12th either. I refuse to speak.

July 20th, 2013  
My friends finally stopped by to see how I am.  
"Em, have you seen Ali lately? Is she okay? Are you okay?" They all asked.  
I didn't talk. I just cried.  
"C'mon guys. Emily needs some alone time" Aria said pushing them to the door.

July 21st, 2013.  
"Emily, Aria is here" my mom said opening up my door letting her in.  
"Hey" Aria said sitting down.  
She waited for my response but once she realized I wasn't going to respond she spoke again.  
"Em, what happened? You can talk to me about it. About it all" she said putting her hand on my knee.  
I didn't talk.  
She kept trying to get me to talk till finally she got up and left.  
Everyone leaves.

August 1st, 2013.  
I spoke for the first time today.  
My mom picked up my phone and asked me a simple question.  
"Have you spoken with Alison yet?"  
"No. She left me" I said quietly and walked up to my room.  
As I lay in my bed crying, I realize that I should talk to her. I should call her. I should text her. I should fucking be with her. But she left me. She fucking left me. She hasn't called me. She hasn't texted me. So why should I be the one to do it first? It kills me not talking to her. I'm trying to live without her but I feel dead.

August 16th, 2013.  
I don't do much anymore. I used to spend my days with Alison. I used to have fun. I used to be happy. I think the moment the person you love the most walks out of your life is also the moment where your heart leaves your chest.

September 1st, 2013.  
I spent the first week of grade 11 wondering how Ali is, what she's doing, thinking how much different it is without her.

*Alison's side*  
If I could have had it my way I would be sitting down at the nicest beach you could imagine with my hand locked in between hers, feeling the heat of the sun touch our skin. If I could have it my way I would be with the girl I love and I would be the happiest person alive. But I can't have it my way.  
I didn't want to leave. I begged my dad to stay. He wouldn't listen.  
"We are leaving. You're going to go to a private school and you will never see that boy again!" He barked.  
News is, Noel went to juvenile camp but my dad still insists I leave.  
My heart broke the day I walked away from Emily in the hospital. I wanted to run to her. But my dad grabbed me. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at my dad the same way.  
I wanted to say goodbye to my friends, to Emily most importantly; but I didn't have time to. My dad woke me up early in the morning and we were gone.  
I haven't talked to Emily since that night. I could call her, I could text her. But I won't. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe it was never meant to be. But if it was better this way, if I was meant to be without her; I wouldn't be thinking of her every single time a song comes on. I wouldn't be standing in the shower letting the water burn my skin as I think about her. I wouldn't be up at 3am in the morning reminiscing memories we shared. I wouldn't walk two steps without thinking she's right by my side. I wouldn't go to bed every single night dreaming of everything we could have been.  
There's no point in talking to her, it will only make me miss her more.

It's not hard for me to fit in. It's not hard for me to pretend that I'm the happiest girl in the world when I am dying in the inside. The first week of my new private girls only school I became the new "it" girl that everyone wanted to befriend.

Macy saw me looking at the girl in the second to back seat.  
"Stay away from that one" she said and her friend, Jasmine giggled.  
"Why?" I asked curiously studying the girl in the seat. She is beautiful.  
"Because she likes girls" Jasmine spit out.  
I looked at her and said  
"So? You like boys, should boys stay away from you?"  
The grin on her and her friends face immediately disappeared as I spoke. A few seconds after she said  
"Whatever, but she'll probably start to like you"  
"Obviously. I'm hot. I don't care if she'll start to like me, I don't care if a boy would like me. It means the same thing to me. Just because a girl likes another girl or a boy likes another boy doesn't mean you have to be grossed out by it. It should make you feel good and you shouldn't be an asshole because you have no idea how hard it is for someone to like another person they can't possibly have" I said maturely.  
Macy looked offended and decided not to reply. She took her seat in the front row. I went to go sit beside the girl.  
"Hi I'm Alison" I said sitting down.  
"What are you doing?" She asked.  
"What do you mean?" I replied sounding confused.  
"No one ever talks to me here, I'm an outcast" she said quietly.  
I looked at her and smiled.  
"Not anymore darling"


	12. Sex & Mistakes

*Alison*

"That was amazing" I said as she popped her head out from underneath the covers.  
"How many times have you gone down on a girl?" I asked.  
Olivia wiped her mouth with her hand then bit her lip.  
She's so sexy, I can't believe she just went down on me.  
It all happened so fast.  
Like, really fast.

*2 hours earlier*  
"Hi I'm Alison" I said sitting down.  
"What are you doing?" She asked.  
"What do you mean?" I replied sounding confused.  
"No one ever talks to me here, I'm an outcast" she said quietly.  
I looked at her and smiled.  
"Not anymore darling"  
"I'm Olivia" she said.  
"I'm Alison" I said giving her my hand.  
She shook my hand then grinned.  
"What?" I said curiously.  
She didn't answer, instead she let out a little laugh.  
I started to smile and repeated myself.  
"What!" I said this time a little more impatient.  
She leaned in to me and said  
"I'll tell you what I'm grinning about if you hang out with me tonight"  
"Deal" I said opening my note-book.  
I kept looking at her throughout the period. She looked up at me a few times. But I think she only looked at me because I'm looking at her. I can't help it. She's so beautiful, she looks exactly like Emily but only lighter, only smaller. She's not as perfect and nowhere near as beautiful as Emily but she's close.  
As I was in the middle of staring at her neck, thinking of kissing it, the teacher called out my name.  
"Alison?" Mr. Rudill said.  
"What?" I said sounding confused.  
"What's the answer?" He said.  
Oh, did he ask me a question? I didn't even hear him.  
"I don't know, sorry" I said sheepishly.  
Olivia looked at me and laughed.  
Awkward.

After class, we stopped at my locker than hers.  
"I just need to get my text-book" she said bending down into her locker.  
Oh fuck, I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away. She's wearing yoga pants and it's hard not to look at a girls ass when she's wearing yoga pants.  
What has gotten into me? Why can't I stop thinking about sex lately? Sex usedto be the last thing on my mind when I was with Emily. It was always about love.  
But maybe, I'm feeling it at my age now, where all I wanna do is fuck. It's no secret that girls want sex just as much as guys do. I can't help control my hormones, it's apart of me that needs to be set free and lash out with desire. I'm not sorry.

I think Olivia knew I was staring at her ass because I didn't look away quick enough as she was getting up and she grinned again.  
I feel pretty fucking stupid.  
"Let's go" she said shutting her locker.

I stepped inside her house and was rushed by with a heat of warmth. Her house was tiny but cute. We went into her room and she shut her door.  
"You have any siblings?" I asked.  
"No" she said.  
"Animals?" I asked.  
"No" she said.  
After a few moments of silence she said  
"I have parents, but they're doctors and barley ever home"  
I didn't know what to say, so I didn't respond.  
"So, why were you laughing?" I asked sitting down at the end of her bed.  
"I'm a lesbian" she said looking at me through her mirror "and so are you"  
I got up and squeaked  
"No I'm not"  
"It's a gaydar thing, you're gay honey" she said smiling seductively.  
Fuck, she's _really_ hot.  
I swallowed hard and sat back down on her bed. I didn't realize I was shaking till I felt her whole bed moving.  
She turned around and faced me. I smiled at her awkwardly. She started to stretch and I could see her stomach.  
I got up off her bed again and bam, we were in each other's bubbles and I was shaking. She grabbed both my arms.  
"Why are you so fidgety" she said.  
I put my hands on her back. Is this what I'm supposed to do? Where do they go? I kept putting my hands in different positions then I said  
"You smell good"  
She laughed "thank-"  
"I want you" I interrupted.  
She stared into my eyes and licked her lips.  
I placed my hands on her hips and she put her mouth to my neck.  
"Do you want me hear" she said quietly.  
"Yes" I said urgently.  
She started kissing my neck, I felt her tongue press against me then she started to suck my neck and I titled my head back. She slowly let her lips apart from my neck. She moved her mouth to my ear and whispered  
"Do you want me here?"  
I felt her hand move up my stomach and onto my bra  
"And here?" She whispered again.  
"Yes" I let out.  
She put her hand underneath my bra and grabbed my boob. I felt her bit on my ear and then she started to kiss and lick my ear.  
_Oh fuck. _  
She took her hand out of my bra and placed her mouth right near mine.  
She got closer and closer.  
"Do you want me" she said then kissed me "here"  
I smiled and we kept kissing.  
Just as it started to get steamy she pulled away and it feels like there's a puddle in my underwear.  
She pushed me down on her bed and I watched her take off her top.  
Oh fuck.  
Oh_ fuuuuck._  
She sat on my lap and started kissing me. This time more faster and with some tongue smearing. She unhooked her bra and slowly removed it. I couldn't help but stare.  
Like oh fuck. I'm so fucking wet.  
I placed both my hands on her boobs and started to feel them while I was kissing her neck. She lifted myhead up and kissed me.  
"Lay down" she said.  
So I did.  
She started to touch my vagina through my pants and I immediately went red. You could fucking feel how wet I was through my pants. And I'm wearing fucking jeans.  
"And you said you weren't gay" she said smiling.  
I didn't respond and she let out a laugh.  
She lay on top of me and said  
"Don't worry baby, that's so fucking hot" as soon as she said the word hot she pushed her hand into my pants and felt me through my underwear.  
I started breathing heavier and she started to kiss me roughly.  
Oh fuck. Now she's fingering me. And she's doing it so fucking good. I can't stop fucking moaning, now I'm screaming, she's going so fast, she's going so hard.  
"Oh my god, oh my god, mmm" I let out.  
She pulled up my top halfway through her finger fucking me session and was kissing my boobs. It feels so good. It feels so fucking good.  
Once she pulled her fingers out, I wrapped my legs around each other and squeezed hard. I've never felt this feeling before.  
"You're really fucking hot Alison" she said wiping her fingers on my stomach.  
"You're beautiful" I said putting my hands through her hair.  
Is this awkward? Was that weird? Do people do that during sex? Because she kind of gave me a smug confused face when I did that.  
"What are you thinking about?" She said studying my face.  
Now I'm thinking about fucking her.  
"I wanna finger you" I said.  
She laughed and said  
"One second"  
She started to unzip my jeans and pulled them right off. She went down to my thighs and started kissing me. She moved my underwear with her one hand and put her mouth to my vagina.  
Holy _fuck_.  
"That was amazing" I said as she popped her head out from underneath the covers.  
"How many times have you gone down on a girl?" I asked.  
Olivia wiped her mouth with her hand then bit her lip.  
"I've been wit-"  
Someone opened her door and as soon as I looked at the man staring at us I looked at Olivia, who's topless, and is on top of a girl, who has no pants on, and I immediately knew it was her dad. I sat up right away which made her sit up and he shut the door and walked away.  
"Oh no. I thought they never come home?" I said.  
Olivia looked annoyed and I regretted saying anything. She put on a hoodie from her closet and parted all her hair to one side.  
"You should probably put your pants on and go" she said.  
_Oh._ Well. I guess it was fun while it lasted.  
I slipped my pants on and fixed my shirt.  
I walked over to her and she opened her door. I tried to kiss her but she didn't respond back so I opened my eyes and bumped into her dad as I started to walk.  
I quickly walked past him and then I heard the door shut and his voice.  
"Why must you always bring a new girl into this home? Why don't you call us? Why don't you at least lock your door?" He said calmly.  
Wow, he sure is handling this situation a lot different from my dad would.  
"Call you? You guys are too busy and jee why do I need to? Couldn't you hear the noises?" I heard her yell.

Ohkay. I need to leave.

*Emily's side*

September 19,  
It's a Thursday. I try not to communicate as much as I can. But today, I let it all out. At school. In front of everyone.

I hate being here. I hate it so much. I'm surprised I'm still capable of doing my work. I can't even think straight, maybe cause I never was.  
As soon as the bell rang I opened up my locker and all my shit fell out.  
"Fuck" I muttered.  
Aria came over and started picking up my books.  
"I got it" I told her.  
She kept picking them up.  
"I said I got it!" I yelled at her.  
Aria got up and stared at me blankly, I felt the whole hallway go silent.  
"What is your problem?" She asked me quietly.  
"You wanna know what my problem is? My fucking problem is that I went to a party, I got fucking stabbed in the back, saw the love of my life almost get raped by a boy we've known since we were kids, and then she left me. She fucking left me without saying goodbye. I almost died for her, and she can't even saybye? I fucking loved her! I fucking love her! And she left me! She left me with nothing but this huge hole in my fucking chest! It's like I can't do anything. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't be happy, I can't smile, I can't do anything without her. I miss her so fucking much that it's killing me. How does someone have such a huge effect on me like this? How can a human make us feel on top of the world one day then the next day at the bottom? How can you fucking fall in love with someone then expect to move on? How am I supposed to live my life without her? I can't breathe without her. I hate her. I hate her so much. But I fucking love her" I explained in a rushed loud voice.  
I know for a fact that every single person in this hallway heard me. I don't even care. I don't care what anyone thinks.  
Aria tried to put her arm on me, I wouldn't let her. I took my books from her hand, put them in my locker, then ran out of that fucking building crying.

"Honey, what are you doing home? Is everything ok?" My dad asked me as I walked through the door.  
"Oh" I said wiping my tears away "I didn't know you'd be home"  
"Emy, what's wrong?" He said as he embraced me into a hug.  
"It's Alison dad. I miss her, I miss her so much" I cried.  
"I know. It's hard to lose a friend" he said.  
I stopped hugging him.  
"I loved her dad. I love her. She left me" I said choking on my words.  
"I'm sorry" I mumbled.  
"Honey, it's okay" he kissed my head.

I ran upstairs and cried myself till I fell asleep.

September 20th,  
I can't believe I told my dad. He knows. He wasn't mad.  
"Emily!" Travis yelled as he bumped into me.  
Travis; Golden Sinera's favorite drug student.  
"Get off me!" I said as I shoved him.  
"Come here" he said grabbing me.  
I let him drag me to a bush behind the school.  
"So I heard what happened" he said sniffing.  
"I don't care" I said.  
He pulled a zip lock bag out of his hoodie and handed it to me.  
"Their shrooms. It really helped me get over my girl. She really fucked me up. The only thing that helps me is those babies and a little other babies" he said dryly.  
"I don't want this" I said staring at it.  
"Emily, it helped me. It'll help you. Come over and I'll show you how to get those babies in you" he said.  
"Right now?" I asked.  
He nodded his head.

"Why are you going into Pizza Pizza?" I asked.  
"To get pizza" he said.  
He came out with a large pizza and a 2L of Coco cola.

10 minutes later we arrived to his house.  
We went downstairs and I stepped on garbage bag and fell.

He laughed.

"Alright, give me the bag" he said opening up the pizza box.  
I took out the baggie and handed it to him. He placed a shit load of them over the pizza.  
"Am I gonna fucking die?" I asked.  
"No" he said laughing.  
I watched him eat two slices before I ate one.  
It's fucking hard, it's fucking gross.

40 minutes later, Travis and I both started to laugh for no reason at the same time. I couldn't stop laughing. I saw a pumpkin in the corner of his TV and I tried to take the pumpkin out.  
"What are you doing?" Travis asked laughing.  
"The pumpkin! It's stuck!" I said.  
I couldn't grab the pumpkin, either it's really heavy or it's really stuck.  
I looked at Travis for help but he was swimming. Really fast. He kept moving his arms and kicking his legs.  
"Go travis go!" I cheered.  
I slowly sat down on the floor. Oh my! If I sat a little more to the left I would have fell down!  
"Wait! Travis! Why is there a pumpkin stuck on your TV?" I said laughing.  
"Wait. Have you ever stopped to think about your soul? Like what even is your soul? How can you have two bodies? How can people possibly think that when you die, your body leaves you. Like where the fuck does it go? McDonald's?" I said.  
"Have you ever noticed dents on the ground outside? What if those dents are from year 100 or even earlier? Like wow" I said laughing.  
"So if you get a tattoo will it stay on your body even after you die?" I said.  
"Wait! What if you woke up one morning as a different person? What if all this is a dream? That we went through all this bullshit for nothing? What if when we die, we wake up as another person? Woah. Did I just discover new science shit or what?" I said clapping my hands.

Travis stared blankly at his TV screen for what seemed like an hour and just smiled.  
"Doesn't your mouth hurt?" I kept asking and laughing.  
He wouldn't answer.

Oh. I think I'm crying. There's tears on my face. I mean I think it's water because it's coming from my eyes. Why am I crying? Oh I know, I hate my life. I'm so depressed. Everyone leaves and I am a nobody. Ever since she left I have been broken. It sucks that the only person who can fix your heart is the person who broke it. Oh I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I want to die. I actually do. It feels like my whole body is about to explode. I hate living, I hate my life. I hate everything.

I started seeing things again. Little things. Big things. I think I saw a unicorn too. But then I fell asleep.

As soon as I woke up I started talking to myself.  
"Where the fuck am I?"  
"What time is it?"  
"What day is it?" I said laughing.  
I saw a person's head and I fucking jumped.  
"Holy shit!"  
Travis. Travis the druggie. Why am I with Travis the druggie? Oh my, what the fuck did I do?  
Oh my god, I did mushrooms. With Travis the druggie.  
"Shut up Emily!" Travis said throwing a pillow at me.

I found my phone. It's September 21st, 9 pm. How long have I been here? I have 5 missed calls from my dad and 6 text messages from my mom.  
"Dad, hey. Sorry" I said into the phone "I'm coming home. I'll be home in ten minutes" I said hanging up.

When I got home I told my parents that I couldn't go to school because I had a huge assignment I forgot to do that day and I ended up working on it all the way till nine o' clock at night. They believed me.

*DISCLAIMER*

I am not writing about rape, alcohol, sex, and drugs for fun. I am writing about it because this is what actually happens to some people. This is life for a lot of people. I am writing this story, and one day I hope I can actually change some stuff around and the characters and actually publish this. I want people to know how bad it is to do drugs. I want people to know that you are not weak for the ways you've tried to kill your sadness. It's not like people decide one day that they want to do drugs and destroy their body. They do it because they think their life is so bad that drugs is the only thing that will help them.


	13. Wrong

*Emily's side*

October 13rd, 2013

I'm not feeling too good. I've been hanging out with Travis a lot.

November 5th, 2013

We got our report cards today. I'm failing all my classes. When I went home my parents weren't impressed so I left.

November 11th, 2013

I've been staying at Travis. I really like him, he's a great friend. Plus, he shares with me.

November 14th, 2013

I looked at myself in the mirror today. I look horrible. I'm losing all my muscle.

November 20th, 2013

I haven't been to school since the 5th.

It was a little hectic today.

Around 11am I walked into my house to go pack a bag full of clothes. Only, my parents were sitting right in the kitchen and saw me.

"Get out of this house right now!" My dad barked.

I walked upstairs and he stormed towards me.

He grabbed my arm.

"Get out!" He snapped.

"Fuck you. Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled at him as I pushed him.

"Don't ever come into this house ever again Emily. You are not a Fields anymore" my dad said calmly.

I ran to the door and as I opened it I screamed

"Fuck you both! I hate you!"

God. I do hate them. I hate them so much. What did I do wrong? Why do I always do everything wrong?

November 29th, 2013

Travis got a bag full of cocaine today. He's going to let me do one line.

I watched him as he pour the powder out onto a small piece of glass, as he grabbed a razor blade and lined it up. I couldn't stop thinking about the razor blade. I wanted to take it. I've seen pictures online before, mostly Tumblr, of people cutting themselves. It's a way to let out the pain. I wonder if it works, I wonder if that helps _too_.

He snorted it up his nose and now it's my turn.

I did it as quick as I could, and the whole time was torture. It hurt so bad. It still hurts. But yet, I want to do another line. So I did.

"That's some good shit" Travis said after taking a line.

"Agreed" I said sniffing.

My whole mouth is numb. I can't even talk. I kept zoning out. I couldn't stop staring at a picture on his wall of a monkey with a banana. Now I'm shaking. But I bent down and took another hit.

"Hey! That was supposed to be mine!" Travis said.

My legs were shaking, so were my arms, my whole body is. I let out a long cry. I feel like shit. I can't stop crying now.

"I'm never doing that again! Fuck you Travis!" I said crying even louder.

November 30th, 2013

"Emily wake up!" Travis said pushing me.

"What do you want? What time is it?" I said moving around.

"It's 3:20pm. Are you okay? You're a lucky one, only some people can actually sleep after their first time taking lines" he said quietly.

"Well fucking hooray for me" I said pulling the cover over my head "I'm never doing that again"

I heard him laugh, then I heard him do a line.

"Guess I'll finish it by myself" he said coolly.

"Guess so" I said before falling back to sleep.

*Alison's side*

Olivia didn't talk to me for a whole week after we had sex, and we sit beside each other! No texts, no nothing.

"Hey" she finally said sitting down next to me.

I didn't reply.

She touched my shoulder.

"Oh sorry. Were you trying to talk to me? Because it didn't seem like you wanted to after you fucked me. Don't talk to me" I said straight to her face.

The bell just rang, perfect timing.

I gathered up my stuff and we were the only two remaining.

"I really like you Alison. It's just, I've never been in a relationship, I just have sex" she said.

"Olivia" I squeaked.

"To tell you the truth, I only want to be with you because I can't be with Emily" I said mentally to myself.

"Maybe we can be friends with benefits?" She said smiling.

"No. That will only hurt me. Sorry, but I do have feelings you know" I said truthfully.

I avoided Olivia for as long as I could. I think it's been nearly three weeks since the last time we talked. I miss her. I miss her touching me, kissing me.

We sit in the back row, it's only us. No one will notice what's about to happen underneath the table, especially since we're watching a movie and the lights are off.

Right away I put my hand inside her pants. I felt her bolt up and then she looked at me. I put three fingers inside of her. Her face lit up. We leaned into each other quickly and kissed.

I want to go faster. I want to finger her harder. I want to grip my hand on her shoulder so I can pound her with my other hand.

I went as fast as I could and she was holding onto the table. I guess I did something she really liked cause she let out a loud moan and the whole class turned around. I immediately took my hand out of her pants and pretended to laugh loudly as everyone looked at us. Most people turned around, and others turned around rolling their eyes.

I think I was moving my fingers in a circular way, I'll remember that.

Olivia leaned into me and gave me a rough fast kiss. It was amazing.

"You should come over tonight" she said grinning.

"Maybe I should" I said.

I saw this one time watching porn, that a girl put her fingers in her mouth after she fingered the other girl. So

I put my one finger in my mouth and then I put my two other fingers in my mouth and I sucked on them. Olivia's pupils dilated and she started grinning. I could taste her, and she tastes so good.

Right when I got inside Olivia's house she started taking off all my clothes and I started taking off all hers. We were kissing all the way upstairs to her bedroom.

"Do I taste good?" She asked me.

"Oh yeah" I said kissing her neck.

"I want to fuck you harder" I said.

She grabbed my hand and put it underneath her underwear.

"So do it" she whispered.

I started to feel her and decided to fully take off her underwear. I backed her up against the wall and started moving my fingers up and down inside her. I started going faster. I started sweating. She was moaning and I was loving it. I moved my three fingers quickly into a circular motion inside her again.

"Oh fuck!" She kept repeating.

She kept trying to pull my hand away but I didn't want to stop.

"Baby, stop" she said while kissing me.

I pulled my fingers out of her and started to kiss my way down to her vagina.

"And you said I was amazing" Olivia said as I came back up.

"You were" I said kissing her.

"You were too" she said letting out a breath.

Oh shit, it's 10 o'clock? Gotta go.

I got out of her bed as quickly as I could and put my clothes back on. I leaned in and kissed her.

"I gotta go babe" I said.

"Why?" She asked.

"Curfew" I said giving out a little embarrassed laugh.

*Emily's side*

December 11th, 2013

I tried going to school today, just to get caught up on my work. But apparently I've been expelled. I went into the principals office and told him that I planned on dropping out anyways. He told me that he talked to my parents about my grades and that a "rumor" went around the school that I've been doing drugs and selling them. So I got expelled, and I guess my parents forgot to mention that. Hm, never sold any drugs though.

"Hey girl, how was school?" Travis asked me when I got down into his basement.

"I got kicked out" I said slumping onto his couch. I saw that razor blade he used yesterday and I slipped it into my pocket quickly.

"Aw, babe" he said.

Wait, did he just say babe?

He got up and sat down beside me. He tried putting his arm around me but I shoved him.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked.

"C'mon Emily" he said trying to kiss my neck.

"Stop!" I yelled getting up. "Why couldn't I just have one guy friend that doesn't want to try to fuck me! Why! Fuck you Travis"

"Emily! You've been living with me. Don't be such a bitch! I share everything with you!"

I started walking up the stairs and I heard him shout.

"Where you going Em! You have no where else to go!"

I didn't respond. I walked out of his house with my bag and I kept walking.

I left Travis house around 10am, it's 4pm now and I'm still walking.

He's right, I have nowhere to go. There is nowhere to go.

_Jason_. Alison's brother.

Maybe he can help me.

I pulled out my phone and dialed his number.

"I'm sorry, your phone is no longer connected. Would you like to-"

Fuck! I threw my phone as far as I could. It smashed against a building. A building with windows. And I broke the window by throwing my phone at it. I saw a few people walk towards the broken window and I started to run.

I don't how long I've been running. An hour? Two? 10 minutes? 30 minutes? I have to stop. I turned a corner and bumped into a tall guy.

"Watch where you're going!" Said a familiar voice.

Jason!

"Jason!" I shouted.

He put his hands up to his head and said

"Jesus, not so loud"

"It's me! Emily!" I said excitedly. "Alison's friend" I said going quiet.

"Oh yeah. Hey, I got to go" he said.

"Wait! Jason could you maybe hook me up?" I asked.

"With what? Drugs?" He said laughing.

"It's not fucking funny" I said pushing him.

"What do you want Emily? Weed?" He said laughing.

"Heroine" I said seriously.

I never tried it, but I want to.

Jason got really close to me and put his finger on my chest.

"Have you had this before?"

"Yes" I lied.

"With who? How?" He asked.

"Maybe I'll tell you, if you give me some" I said reasoning.

"I don't have any on me. It's at home" he said impatiently.

"I'll go with you" I bugged.

"Fine! Now tell me who you got this from" he asked.

"Travis" I snarled.

"Travis Blanchard?" He asked.

"Yes. But whatever you're gonna do, leave me out of it" I said cautiously.

"Don't worry" Jason said.

Wow. I haven't been in this house forever. I almost don't remember it. It seems so different. Alison. I miss her. My memory of her is fading. What does she look like?

"So my parents aren't home. I'll do it with you, just in case" Jason said interpreting my thoughts.

"So you sniff it right? Because injecting it in you is fucked up and worse" Jason said.

"Oh yeah, totally" I said trying to sound cool.

Jason gave me a funny look but proceeded to hand me a rolled up ten dollar bill.

I put the ten dollar bill up to my nose, bent down, and snorted the heroine.

"I don't really feel anything" I said to Jason.

"No shit. We're snorting it, not injecting it" he said.

"I feel calm and happy" I said smiling.

"Me too" Jason said getting up.

"Where you going!" I said getting up too.

"Just on the balcony" he said.

I went outside with him and stared up at the sky.

"The stars are beautiful. I find it so beautiful that even though it's pitch dark outside, there's still light from the stars. It gives you hope. It's life's way of saying - even in the darkness, there is always lightness" I said. "I love life Jason. I really do. I mean, what's not to love?" I went on.

And then, I puked everywhere.


	14. Falling Apart

*Emily's side*  
December 12th  
I've been sitting here, in Jason's room, on his floor. He left the balcony door open, the air feels nice. But that's the only thing that feels nice. Nothing is nice anymore. I don't love life. I hate it. What did I do wrong? Where did it all go wrong? Was it the drugs? Was it all the alcohol I've consumed? Or was it the fact that the only person in this entire world I will ever love left me?  
"Jason wake up" I said shaking him.  
"What do you want" he mumbled.  
"About yesterday. I don't. I really don't Jason" I mumbled myself.  
"You don't what" he said in a sleepy voice.  
"Love life. I hate life. I hate everyone. I hate myself. And I hate my life. How can anyone love life when it's so fucked up? All I ever wanted was Alison and now all I want is drugs. I hate this and I wish I could go back to my old life. It's not the same anymore and it never will be" I poured out.  
"I always knew there was something about you two" Jason muffled.  
"That's not the point! I have no one now! I'm all alone! I have no where to go! I have no friends, I have no family! I can't even take a fucking shower!" I screamed.  
I started gathering up all my bags and headed towards the door.  
"Emily, you can take a shower here" he said slowly getting up.  
"Thank you" I whispered.

I turned the shower knob to the left and let the steaming hot water drizzle over my body. When's the last time I showered? I look so gruff. But at last, I'll finally be able to look like me when I finish cleaning up.  
I got out of the shower and turned on the blow dryer. Then I straightened my hair. I put on mascara and a little foundation. I grabbed my backpack and started to look for my eyeliner, but instead, I picked up the blade I took from Travis.  
If you were to ask me a year ago about cutting I would say I would never do that, and would never want to. But now, as I hold it in my hand, placed against my skin, I can't help but drag it across.  
One, two, do it already, three, four, it doesn't hurt that much, five, six, the blood keeps rushing out, seven, eight, time to clean this up, nine, ten, better hide this away.  
I can't believe I just did that.

*Alison's side*  
I see Olivia walking in front of me to class. I ran up to her and slapped her butt.  
"Hey!" Olivia said laughing.  
"Hey, nice bum. Where you from?" I giggled.  
"PA, where all the best bums come from" she said winking.  
Once we walked into our class we saw we had a supply teacher and got a little excited.  
Throughout the whole period the teacher kept telling us to quiet down and do our work, but we had no work to do, so.  
"Oh hey! I just remembered. My dad wants you to come over for dinner tonight" I said to Olivia.  
Olivia pulled a face.  
"Um, I don't want to" she said plainly.  
"Why!" I cried.  
"Because I don't do family dinners. It's awkward" she said.  
"It doesn't have to be. It's not even a family dinner. Fuck will just get pizza or something. My dad just wants to see who I've been hanging out with. He wants to make sure I'm doing fine and I am doing fine because I have you. So please, just come" I said.  
"Um, ok. I'll come" she said.

"When does your dad come home?" Olivia said taking off her coat.  
"Around 5" I said.  
"So we have 2 hours to our self?" She said seductively.  
She came towards me and kissed me softly.  
"Maybe we should just cuddle" I said hopefully.  
"Cuddle my tongue into your vagina?" She said.  
I couldn't help but laugh.  
"Oh my god Olivia, you kill me" I said.  
"Do you not want to?" She asked.  
I grabbed her hand and lead her towards the couch in my living room.  
I put on Man on a Ledge and sat down. She sat down beside me. I gave her a quick kiss and she pulled me down onto her. As soon as I fell down onto her I stopped kissing her and lay on her chest. She kept trying to move me but I didn't want to move.  
"Alison, I don't want to cuddle" I heard her say.  
I got up off her and said something I probably shouldn't have.  
"Emily would've!"  
"Emily? Who's Emily?" She asked sitting up.  
I didn't answer her.  
"Emily in our-"  
"No!" I said cutting her off. "You don't know her"  
"Who is she?" Olivia asked.  
"My friend. My old friend. She lives in New Jersey. It's where I used to live. I miss it and I miss her. I love her Olivia. She's the only girl I love, and I haven't even talked to her or seen her since July. I'll probably never see her again and it fucking hurts so much" I cried.  
"Is she your girlfriend?" Olivia asked.  
I shook my head.  
"Why _did_ you move Alison?" Olivia asked, and as soon as she did I fell down and started moving away from her.  
"_Him_! Get away from me!" I screamed as loud as I could.  
Olivia ran to me and wrapped her arms around me.  
"What is wrong with you?" Olivia said.  
I started to cry and lashed out of Olivia's arms.  
"Get away from me!" I screamed again.  
I ran up the stairs into my bedroom and locked the door.

*Olivia's side*  
This girl is fucked up. I wouldn't even bother with her if it weren't for the amazing sex. I guess I should leave. I opened up the front door and a tall man with grey hair walked in.  
"Hello! You must be Alison's friend. Where is Alison?" Alison's father, I'm amusing, said.  
"She's in her room. She got scared I think" I said awkwardly.  
"Oh, what happened?" He said worriedly.  
"I asked her why she moved here and got really spooked out. I didn't know what to do or say. I'm sorry" I said.  
"It's okay. It's just hard for her. There was an incident that happened back where we lived" he said.  
"Oh, what happened?" I intrigued.  
"Don't talk about it to anyone. Not even to her. Do you promise?" He said seriously.  
I swallowed hard and nodded my head.  
"There was this boy who really liked Alison for a long time but Alison was never interested in him. She was always too busy with her girlfriends. Alison was the captain of the cheerleading team, and the boy was the quarterback on the football team. Everyone expected them to be a couple. But anyways, there was a huge party held after the football team won the championship and the boy tried to rape my baby. One of Alison's friends, saved her but she got stabbed by the boy with a knife. She is alive. I decided that Alison needed to get away from that place. So we moved here. Now if you excuse me, I'll go get her, and will order a pizza"  
"No! I'll go get her sir" I said quickly and paced my way up the stairs.  
"Alison?" I called out.  
I heard crying to my left.  
I walked towards the door.  
"Baby, it's me" I said sweetly. "Open the door"

*Alison's side*  
I opened my bedroom door and in came Olivia. She embraced me in her arms again and held me tightly.  
"I'm so sorry" she said kissing my head.  
"I'm sorry" I said.  
"No, you don't have to be" Olivia said.  
She placed her lips on mine and kissed me. I kissed her back more roughly. I moved my tongue around in her mouth and we both let out little moans.  
She backed me up against my door and I placed her hand on to the zipper of my jeans.  
"Your dads home" she said into my mouth.  
And just like that I stopped kissing her and moved my hand.  
I let out an embarrassed laugh.  
Olivia pulled up my shirt, moved down my bra and started to suck on my boob.  
I let out a moan and then my dad knocked on my door.  
I flung Olivia away from me and opened my door.  
"Pizza is on its way" he said.  
"Hi daddy!" I said as calmly as I could, which probably wasn't calm at all.  
He smiled at me and walked back down the stairs.  
I looked at Olivia and gave her the finger.  
"Oh please! You loved it!" She teased.

*Emily's side*  
I need it. I fucking need it.  
I put on a pair of pants and threw on a plain black sweater. I opened up the bathroom door and charged out, only to run into - Alison's mom.  
"Emily! Sweetie! How are you?" She cheered.  
"Oh honey, you aren't looking so well. Wait, what are you doing here?" She asked.

Bitch? I just fucking showered and got all dressed up.

"Mom, hey, she's with me" Jason said coming out of his room.  
"Oh okay, well it was nice seeing you Emily!" She said.  
"You too" I smiled.  
"You were in there for like an hour" Jason said as he shut the door.  
"I was in the shower for like 30 minutes and it took me 30 minutes to get all cleaned up!" I shouted.  
"Yeah, an hour" Jason laughed.  
"I'm going back to bed" he said as he shoved the covers over his head.  
"Really? It's 2 in the afternoon-" I started saying but he's already snoring.  
I turned around in defeat and then I saw a bag. Six small bags full of white powder in it. I took the bags, took my bag, put the little bags in my bag, and ran like hell out of that house.

I've been walking around the city asking civilians for a dollar and not a single one has given me one yet.  
Try after try. Americans are assholes.  
"EMILY!" I heard someone bark at me.  
I looked back to see who it was.  
Jason.  
I started to run as fast as I could, I used to be better at this. I used to be really good at running, but now, it hurts to run. I have no energy.  
Jason caught up to me and dragged me into one of the alleys.  
"Give it to me" he demanded.  
"Give what?" I tried.  
"Don't be fucking stupid! I know you have it! Emily! I need it back. That right there is how I get my pay. Now give it back!" He yelled.  
I handed him five hoping he wouldn't notice.  
"Emily, give me the last one" he said patiently.  
"Please Jason, please. I need it" I begged.  
"Fine! But don't come to me next time unless you have money" he said walking away.  
"Wait! Do you have a dollar?" I asked.  
He turned around and threw a dollar on the ground and continued to walk away.  
"Thank you!" I called out.  
I grabbed the bill and started walking further into the alley.

I only got three hits out of that small fucking bag. It's so good, it feels so good. I wish I had another bag. I need another bag. Fuck Jason. Fuck his whole family. Fuck Alison for leaving me. Why hasn't she called me yet? It's been so long. I just don't understand how anyone can leave someone like that.

December 16th, 2014  
I need somewhere to go. I'm so far away from everyone. I've been living on the streets since the 12th, and I'm starving, I don't even have the energy to get up.

"Hey, sorry to bug you but could I please use your phone for a few minutes? I need to call my friend" I asked some random teenage boy who looks friendly.  
"Oh yeah sure, do you need data? I got a lot of data" he squeaked.  
"Thank you" I said taking the phone.  
I turned on his LTE and logged into my Facebook. I click on Aria's profile and right in her about me was her number.  
I tried ringing three times before she finally picked up.  
"Hello?" She said.  
"Aria, hey it's me" I said quietly.  
"Who is this?" She said.  
"Emily!" I exasperated.  
"Oh. Haven't right from you in awhile. How are you?" She asked.  
"I'm not good, I'm downtown. Can we meet up or something?" I asked.  
"Where are you?" She asked.  
"15 Clinton Street" I said.  
"Ok, I'll be there in 15 minutes" she said hanging up.

"Oh my god. Emily?" Aria said as she rolled down the window.  
"Yeah" I said getting in.  
"You look so different. You look awful, no offence" she said.  
"I know" I replied.

Once we got to her house I walked right in up to her bedroom and she shut the door.  
"What happened to you Emily?" She said.


	15. Out of Here

*Emily's side*

"She left me Aria" I sobbed.

Aria came over to me and hugged me. I started to cry.

"It's just so hard. I think I'm broken, I've never felt like this before. It's like, I can see everyone around me and they look so happy, they looked so filled with love and life, and I'm empty. I'm completely empty, because ever since Alison left, I've had nothing. I am nothing without her. I feel like I'm dead. Aria, I can't live without her, it hurts so much" I sobbed loudly.

Aria started to gently rub my back

"It's going to be okay Emily. You have your family, your friends, you have me" she said quietly.

"What family? What friends? You're the only friend I have that has bothered to come around. Where was Hanna, and Spencer when I needed them? I'm so sorry Aria, I'm so sorry" I cried.

"Emily, you look so different" Aria said as she let go of me.

I wiped my nose on my sweater and said

"Yeah I know"

"You lost all your muscle and you're always sniffing. Emily, you're not telling me everything" she said seriously.

I turned my back on her.

"Okay, maybe I've done a few drugs, but it's nothing because I'm not addicted and I don't even have any left, and I don't even have any money to buy any" I rambled.

Aria came over to hug me again and she started to cry.

"Oh my god Emily. What did you take?" She asked.

"I had mushrooms, coke, and heroine. That's it, I swear. I didn't even like it. I didn't even have that much. I've only been doing it since September. I swear. I don't even have a craving at all" I lied. I have a craving for heroine.

"Do your parents know?" She asked.

"I think so. They kicked me out of the house" I admitted.

"Oh" she said.

"You have to get help Emily. There's some programs you could probably go to" she said.

"No. I don't need to go to any fucking programs" I growled.

"It will help you!" Aria cried.

"I'll be right back, don't do anything" she said.

_Oh yeah, I'm just going to hit a line right on your bed I thought._

I went through my bag to find comfy clothes to sleep in. I barley have anything. I took out a hoodie and took off my sweater and T-shirt.

Aria opened the door as I was putting on my hoodie.

"Oh sorr-" I started to say

"Oh my god! Emily!" Aria said.

"Your arm! Your stomach! Emily what did you do" Aria pleaded.

Oh yeah. Fuck.

She started to cry which made me cry.

"Aria please, listen, it's okay. I'm okay. Please don't do anything. Please, I swear I'm okay. I'm fine" I cried.

Aria hugged me once more and this time, she didn't let go for a long time.

Eventually we fell asleep after watching movies. I forgot what it felt like to sleep in a bed.

December 25th

I've been staying with Aria since the 16th. And now that it's Christmas it's kind of weird. I feel like I'm intruding.

December 26th

Well, my parents didn't call or anything. At least Aria and her parents got me some clothes.

December 31st

"Do you want to do anything tonight? Maybe we can go to a party?" I asked Aria.

"Maybe we shouldn't. We can stay in and watch movies" Aria said.

"Oh c'mon, it'll be good for me to get out and interact. Just text Hanna, I'm sure she's going to a party" I said.

"I really don't know" Aria mumbled.

"Fine. I'll go myself" I said getting up.

*Alison's side*

January 11th

Christmas was so different this year. I thought my dad would take me back and I'd be able to see my mom and Jason but he didn't. It was just the two of us. I wanted to see Emily. Then, on New Year's Eve, Olivia was supposed to come over but she didn't. She ditched me. So again, it was just me and my dad.

I know I would have loved New Year's Eve if I was with Emily. I wonder what she did. I could always text her, I could always give her a call but it's been so long and she hasn't tried texting or calling me so why should I? Maybe she finally moved on, and the minute I were to text her it would fuck up everything again.

*Emily's side*

January 15th

"Have you been having any urges lately Emily?" Mrs. Opton said.

Aria's mom set me up with a counsellor to talk about my "depression" and my addiction. Ever since New Years they were scared for their life about me, they called my parents and my parents didn't care to do anything, so Aria's mom did.

"Emily? Do you want to talk about what happened on New Year's Eve?" She asked.

"No? What's there to talk about? So I had a little bit of meth through a pipe. Big deal" I said.

"Emily. You had to go to the hospital. You almost died. Your parents didn't show up. I know it hurts you. You're here to talk, and I'm here to help. This is a safe place for you Emily"

"Yeah, I sure feel safe being locked up in a room" I said.

"It's for your own good sweat heart" she said.

I stayed quiet for a few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked once more.

"No!" I shouted.

She put down her pencil and got up. "It was nice to see you Emily" she said escorting me.

January 16th

Ok, so maybe New Year's Eve shouldn't have happened the way it happened but I ran into Travis on the street walking to Hanna's. He apologized, he was begging me to come to this party with him his friend was throwing. I would've said "go fuck yourself" but he presented a nice little baggy with someone shiny and new in it. I had a good time, it was the best night of my life. Up until I woke up in the hospital.

January 23rd

It's the same thing everyday. I wake up, I eat with everyone else like me, I participate in group activities that make me want to kill myself, I talk to Mrs. Opton, then every other day I have group sessions, then I eat dinner and go to bed. I've been here since January 10th, and I swear this place is making me worse.

February 1st

I don't know when the fuck I'm getting out of this damn place. They think that all these pills there giving me is going to help but it's not. I don't want any of it. As soon as I get out of here I'm going to steal every single drug I can find.

February 17th

It's so depressing, everything is so depressing. I hate going to group sessions, hearing other people's stories. It's so sad.

*Alison's side*

March 1st

Olivia never even talks to me anymore. She's always with this other girl. Samantha. Fuck you Samantha. Olivia only ever comes to me when she's not at school and I'm getting sick of it.

"Hey baby, wanna come over tonight?" Olivia asked walking up to me.

"Why? Because Samantha isn't fucking here? Go fuck yourself Olivia, I don't need you in my life anymore. I never did. Fuck you" I said.

She just stood there.

"Leave!" I shouted.

And she did.

March 3rd

I just want to go home. I miss my family so much. I miss Emily so much. I can't live here anymore. It's like everyday I'm in pain and the only way to fix it is to go back to where I belong.

*Emily's side*

March 5th

Daniel, the guy in my group session just finished telling a really depressing story about his life. His parents were addicts and they died one day. No one knew, Daniel didn't know what to do. He went into their room and found them both dead. His parents barley ever paid attention to him. He saw a bag on the floor. He saw the razor blade on the table. So he started to do it too. He stayed in that room everyday for a month, with his parents decaying right near him. It wasn't until where he felt him own self dying that he called the cops, and ended up here.

After everyone said their apologizes and shared their warmth and compassion with Daniel, Mr. Clark asked

"Would anyone else like to share their story"

And I started to speak.

"I've been here since January tenth. I don't tell Mrs. Opton anything. I try not to speak. I don't want anyone to know what happened. Because if my parents don't care and Alison doesn't care then why should people who don't even know me or love me care? Why wouldn't those closest to me care? Why is it always the people you don't even know care more about you than your own fucking friends and family do?" I cleared my throat and continued to talk.

"I want to a party once, it was in July. I went with this girl I'm in love with. Her names Alison. We got drunk, obviously. But then something happened and we both didn't feel drunk anymore. There was this boy, that really liked Ali. He always got teased on because he wasn't dating her. So what does he do about that? He decides to try and rape her. Him and his friends took Ali from me and I tried to go after her but the guy threw a knife at my back. As soon as I managed to pull that knife out of my back I walked into his house and walked up those stairs, opened the door and saw him trying to rape her. I grabbed his baseball bat and hit him. We got out of that room and then the next thing I remember was me in the hospital, and me getting out of that bed and seeing Alison leave. She left me. She didn't even say bye, she didn't even come to see if I was okay. She just left. It killed me. She killed me" I started to cry but I kept going.

"I didn't talk for a few days, I went over to Alison's house and her mom opened the door. She told me that her father took her to a different city and that they left. I didn't talk to anyone. I couldn't talk to anyone. I was broken. I went back to school and I freaked out on my friend. The whole school heard what I said. And that's when I met Travis. Travis told me that the only person he ever loved left him too and said the only thing that helps him is drugs, so he gave me some. We started doing drugs together and I started skipping school. I think I got kicked out of school and I got kicked out of my house and now my parents hate me. I left Travis because he tried to get with me, and I clearly never liked him. I ran into Alison's brother, Jason and I remember going to his house and doing some drugs with him. It felt like home being there again. But at the same time, it didn't. I went to go take a shower there and that's when I cut myself. I cut my arm and I felt alive. When I went back into Jason's room he was sleeping and I saw some drugs on the table, I took them all. I ran out of that house and ran all the way into the city. But of course, he found me. I got to keep one bag. He let me keep one bag. I felt so hopeless, you have to understand, I felt so hopeless, I felt so alone. I called my friend Aria, and I told her everything and that's how I ended up in this place that makes me hate myself even more. I know this place is supposed to help me but I feel like I should have never been here to begin with. When I think of it now, I took those drugs because I didn't care about my life anymore, I didn't care if I were to die because I would have rather died than to live with a broken heart."

I looked up around me and I saw a few people, like myself, crying.

"Thank you for sharing Emily. I know you didn't want to talk but you did, and we're all proud of you" Mr. Clark said.

On my way out a few people gave me their condolences and smiled at me.

March 8th

Mr. Clark told Mrs. Opton about everything I said during group therapy.

"Emily, do you ever have any carvings?" She asked.

"I haven't thought about it for a long time. I don't know why. But I guess no" I answered honestly.

"I'm glad Emily. That's what we like to hear. Maybe we can start talking about going home" she said.

"Home? What home" I said.

She put her pen down and rolled on her chair closer to me.

"I want you to close your eyes-

"Why?" I asked.

"Just close your eyes. Good. Now take deep breaths. Try to relax. Now tell me. What do you think home is? Where is your home Emily?"

When you think of the word home you picture a comforting house that has your family surrounded in it. But when I picture home, I picture myself with her, right next to her.

"Home isn't a place to me, it's a person. I have never felt more at home than i have when I'm in her arms" I spoke out loud. Jesus Christ. I can't do this anymore. I want to leave but I have nowhere to go.

"Emily, you need to move on love"

"Move on? How can I move on? I can't move on because there's nowhere else to go and there's no one else. I'll never be able to move on and there's still a part of me that believes we're meant to be. I will never move on" I express.

"I'm done here, can I go back to my room?" I ask.

She gives me a nod and I get up and leave.

March 14th

This place is fucked. Everyone in here is fucked, including me. The only thing is, I'm better now. I mean, I came here because of drugs and then they gave me prescription drugs to not make me want to take drugs again. Isn't that fucking hilarious?

"Hey pssssss" I hear someone say.

I continue to look down at my plate of mashed potatoes.

"Emily is it?" I hear them say and I look up. It's a girl, I think a girl from my group talk sessions. She has blonde hair, just like Alison.

"What do you want" I say looking back down at my plate.

"So are you like a lesbian?"

I don't answer.

"I've always wanted to be with a girl" she says.

"Yeah, I always wanted to be with a girl too. I still want to be with her" I say looking up at whoever she is. I think her name is Sally.

She throws her hand up in defeat. Good. I get up and leave but I feel someone tug on my shirt.

"Does that mean you don't want to like be with me for maybe like an hour?" She asks.

"That's exactly what it means" I say walking away.

March 15th

"I thought you said I could leave" I say to Mrs. Opton.

"I said maybe we can start talking about it" she says looking at her stupid clip board.

"Then let's talk about it"

"It's not time sweetie"

"Why the fuck not?" I ask.

"Because like you implied, you have no home" she says looking up.

"I have Aria, and I'm fucking 18 I'm a fucking adult. I don't need no fucking home"

She looked back down at her clipboard and started to write.

"Thank you Emily" she said getting up, indicating its time for me to leave.

March 21st

It's hot in here, really fucking hot. Lights are on, windows are open, it's muggy as hell.

"Now I know you don't want to spend another minute in this place so will make this quick" the man in charge says sitting in his leather seat wearing a suit.

"You're free to go Emily" he says smiling.

I give him a sarcastic smile.

"What happened to nowhere to go?" I ask.

"Like you stated young lady, you're 18 years old. In other words, free to do whatever you want. Let's just hope you don't get into drugs again huh?" He says laughing.

Asshole.

"Does this mean I stop getting my antidepressants?" I ask.

"Yes Emily. You can always go to your family doctor and get them again. Good luck Emily the world is yours, try to stay out of trouble kid. Wouldn't want you back in here!" He laughs again.

"Do you think you're funny?" I ask.

He adjusts his tie and lights a Cuban cigar.

I'll be sure to steal a few of those before I leave this place.

"Moe! You may enter with a set of clothing for miss Flied's" he yells.

The doors fly open and a tall Muslim enters holding a pair of jeans and a worn out T-shirt in his hands. He shoves it to me.

"Thank you" I say.

I look at the man in charge.

"Moe escort her to the bathroom down the hall" he says.

"Sir, I am not permitted to handle the ill" he says bending down.

Why is he bending down? It's not like this guy is a fucking King, for fuck sakes he's in charge of a mental institute.

He gets up and tells me to make it quick, reassuring me that he'll be back in less than five minutes. I quickly take off this hideous white gown and put on the clothes I was provided. I shove a few cigars into the back pockets of the jeans and snoop around. I open a drawer and see lighters, papers, a pipe, and baggies with weed in them. Ah, one must smoke weed in order to stay calm running a mental institute. I take five bags, banana flavoured papers, and a lighter. I sit back down in the seat and wait.

"Can I go now?" I hear as soon as the door opens.

"Yes Emily, you may go without signing papers first" he says mockingly.

He sits down in his seat and reads over the papers in front of him. He's got a weird look to him. I think he's Italian, dark black hair, a little chubby and a slight accent.

"Sign here" he says handing me a piece of paper.

I sign it and he hands me four more, then gives me copies and tells me I'm free to go.

"Moe! Go get the guards" he shouts.

If Moe isn't a guard when what the fuck is he? Sir's person maid? He probably gets him to suck his dick while he smokes weed through his pipe.

Two muscular men enter the room, both wearing a long white sleeve shirt with a plain tie and dress pants.

"Let's go Flied's" the one says.

"Thanks" I say to the man in charge.

I walk in between the two men till we reach outside.

"You're lucky to leave this place. Most people who check in don't check out" the one says and the other laughs so much he starts coughing.

"Could I have maybe twenty dollars to get a cab?" I ask looking at them.

"Maybe if you suck my dick" the one says.

"I'll give you fifty if you suck mine" the other says laughing.

Repulsive, I should complain but I don't want anything more or less to do with this place.

"Fuck you both" I say.

"Well, Mrs. Opton gave me this, to give to you but I don't like it when people swear at me" he says taking out a bag of pills from his pocket.

Antidepressants, I already stole four bottles from Mrs. Room the other day but it wouldn't hurt to have more.

"May I please have it?" I ask.

He opens the door and shoves me to the daylight.

He spits and then snarls, throwing it at me and then slamming the two giant doors shut. Nice man.


	16. Coming Home

*Alison's side*

April 1st

Yesterday I was in my dads room looking through some of his stuff because I was bored and had nothing better to do. I stumbled upon a box that he didn't open, so I opened it. Inside was a bunch of pictures, a bunch of pictures collecting memories. There was me and Jason when we were kids, family Christmas photos, photos we took at the beach and park. A bunch of photos from our trip to Disney world and universal studios. I started to cry. I miss my mom and I miss Jason. Fuck my dad! I hate him for taking me away from the only home I ever had! I miss my fucking friends! I miss Emily. I started really balling my eyes out when I saw pictures of Hanna, Spencer, Aria, and Emily. I couldn't help myself, I miss them so much. Then, this one photo, just of Emily and I, it shot right through my heart. I miss her so much. I went on Twitter right after to see if Emily has posted anything. God I haven't used this website in a year. I hate Twitter. Last update July 10th, right before the party "woo! Party tonight at Noel's"

I checked Hanna's Twitter, she makes a tweet like every second. It's pointless. I checked Spencer's and I wasn't surprised to figure out all her tweets are the same. Just retweets of smart science shit. Aria's Twitter was full of emotion though. I felt my heartbeat quicken as soon as I saw her one tweet

"So glad I got my Emily back" March 21st 2014.

I kept scrolling down, it took me ten minutes to get to her tweets in January. My heart sunk. What is going on?

"I pray for those who need help, please get it"

"Emily, you're so strong. You can do this, I know you can"

"Sometimes you need to what is right for others even if they don't think it's the right thing to do"

What the fuck is she talking about? I exited the app and called her. She never answered. She didn't answer the five times after that either. I dm her on Twitter "Aria can you call me please?"

I'm still waiting for a reply. I need to go back home. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing maybe Emily just did something with swimming and fucked up or something. I'm overreacting but I still need to go home.

"Alison dinner is ready" my dad said.

I'm on my phone in the living room watching some boring action movie. I don't want to acknowledge my dad.

"Alison did you hear me? Dinner is ready" my father said louder this time.

I turned up the TV.

"Alison!" He barked.

I got up and stomped my way into the dining area.

"I don't want to eat here anymore! I don't want to be here anymore! Do you think I enjoy being here? Do you? I fucking hate it here! I miss my family and I miss my friends! I want nothing to do with this place!" I screamed through my tears.

"All this is for you! It's all for you to get away!" He yelled back.

"I never wanted to get away dad! You wanted me to get away. I was fine with staying, I wanted to stay. My home is there, my heart is there, everything is there. I can't stand it here anymore"

"When school is done, will go back. Two more months Alison" my dad says toning down.

"No, I can finish school back there. You know I can, they'll accept me back" I say fighting back fresh tears.

"Alison, you will stay till school is done, end of discussion. Sit down and eat now" he tells me.

I walk away ignoring him calling my name, I go for the stairs and head for my room. Fuck you dad. I look at the calendar on the wall, there's seven weeks left of school. That's seven more weeks without being at home which means seven more weeks of being miserable.

"Why would you want to go back?" My dad asks opening my door.

"I miss my friends and I don't like it here" I tell him.

"How could you miss your friends when they didn't even help you?"

I sit up on my bed taken back.

"Are you serious right now? My friends didn't even help me? Emily got a knife in her back for helping me dad, did you forget that? Did you forget that she was the reason I didn't end up getting raped? Without my friend, it could've ended far more worse. Emily did help me, and so would Hanna, Aria, and Spencer if they were there. I can't believe you even said that, what even made you think of that? Emily was right in the hospital next to me"

"Alison, I'm sorry. It's not what I meant, I just thought you needed to get away from all of the people there. None of them know how to treat other people, I mean look what happened to you!"

"Just because some people don't know how to be a decent human being doesn't mean that everyone is like that. There's people in this world that rape, murder, bully, and do all sorts of bad things but that doesn't mean that everyone is like that. My friends were always true to me, especially Emily. I miss everyone, and I hate only seeing mom on weekends. I never even see Jason anymore, he's an ass but I still miss him! I just want to go back. I hate it here"

"Alison, just finish grade 11, you have what, 8 weeks left? It'll go by so quick, you'll see. I promise you. And then we can talk about going back home"

"We won't talk about it, we will go back home" I tell him.

*Emily's side*

April 9th

I wonder if they'll let me back in school so I can finish grade 11. Surely, if they don't let me back in I can find another school to go to.

"Hey Aria, do you think I could go back to school? Do you think they would let me finish?" I asked fidgeting.

"I'm not sure, I guess you could try going back. I'll talk to my mom" Aria said getting up.

I gave her a thank you smile and lay down on bed until she comes back. I miss having a phone, I wish my parents never cancelled my plan. I wish my parents didn't abandon me. I look down at my arm and trace my finger over my deepest scar. I wish I never cut myself either. What was I thinking? I'll have to live with these scars on my arm forever, they'll never go away. My pain will never go away.

"Hey honey" Aria's mom said knocking on the door.

She opened it and walked in.

"You need your guardians to register you back into school but I'll see what I can do okay? Will go down tomorrow with Aria, how does that sound?" She says with her warm smile.

"Yeah, okay" I say quietly.

She closes the door as Aria walks back in.

"I'm sorry for being here Aria, it probably sucks for you. If you want me to leave I can, or if you want me to sleep on the floor or anything" I tell her looking at anything but her.

"Hey hey don't be silly" she says climbing onto the bed.

"I don't mind having you here at all, you're my friend Emily. I love you and I'm here for you, always"

I look up to her and smile, she smiles back and shakes my hair like a dog.

"We should get some sleep though. If I don't fall asleep by 10, I have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning" she says laughing.

"Em! Wake up man!" I hear Aria shout.

I pull the covers over my head, all cozy and warm until I feel them ripped off of me.

"Someone got a little too used to sleeping in huh?" I hear her say quietly, or maybe I just hear it that way.

"Okay, okay. I'm up" I tell her.

I rub my eyeballs and let out a yawn, I could go right back to bed. School starts in a half an hour though, so I can't. After I put on the same pair of jeans I was wearing yesterday and a hoodie Aria let me borrow, we're right out of the door as soon as we walk down the stairs.

Aria's mom is talking on the phone as she drives. It was only brief, she called her work and told them that traffic is bad and she'll be late. I don't know why she lied but then again I don't know much about anything. We reach the parking lot and I grab Aria by the hand.

"Ella, I'll meet you at the office okay? I just want to walk in with Aria" I tell her.

She nods and Aria and I walk away with her slowly walking behind us. I'm so nervous to be back here. Why am I back here? I would like to say I got a warm welcome when I walked back into the school but everyone who saw me just stared and scoffed at me, some faces I didn't recognize, and some faces didn't recognize me. I wonder if Travis is still in school.

"Hey Em! Think you could hook me up with some drugs!" A boy shouted.

He emphasized the word drugs, screaming it out loud with a hillbilly accent, all his friends with him laughed and I felt like crying. Aria gave me a squeeze on the arm and let go, heading off to her first period class. I turned down a corner, heading to the office letting Ella catch up with me. She opened the door to the office, I tried to stay behind her but the secretary saw me and gave me a disgusted look. Does everyone in this building hate me?

"May I speak to the principal m'am?" Ella asked.

"Right down there" she said pointing to the head office door.

We made our way and inside was the sir himself, the man who kicked me out of this school in the first place, and I just remembered that I got expelled, which means I'm not even allowed to be in here right now.

"Ella, let's go" I said turning around.

"Ah, Emily! It's no surprise to see you here, most students do try to come back after getting expelled, expect they do come with their parents. You are Ella Montgomery, no?" He said looking at her.

"Yes I am, but I'm looking after Emily now. She's better, she went to a rehab program and she's been clean ever since" she tells him.

"Right" he said sitting down.

He picked up a pen and stared at me.

"You do know, drug users go to prison right Emily? But giving the circumstances that you're only, what is it? 16? 17? You got out of that and put into a rehab centre. It makes perfect sense. This still remains on your record, and if you forgot, you have been expelled from here Miss Fields. You're no longer welcome here and even if you were to come here today with your rightful owners, I would still have to deny because we don't tolerate drug users or sellers. You're to no longer come on this property again miss fields. I don't know what happened to you really, it's a shame. You were such a smart student, now look at you. Pitiful" He finishes.

He gets up of his seat and pulls down his suit.

"That wasn't necessary, I don't care if you're the principal or not, you have no right to put Emily down especially since she's recovered" Ella said.

"Thank you for your time, you may now leave" He says gesturing us to the door.

"And Emily, you'll be lucky to get into any school with your record. I believe they should have put you in a youth detention centre"

"You've not only lost one student sir, but now you have lost two and I will be telling a lot of people about your behaviour sir" Ella said.

"Fuck you, fucking prick" I spit.

I leave in a rush not wanting to hear his response. I slam his door shut and the secretary gives me the same look as before.

"Honey, it's okay. Will try a different school" Ella tells me.

"Thanks for trying. I'll just walk back to the house okay? Have a good day at work"

I start crying as I turn my back on her. Fuck this school, I didn't want to go back anyway. I start to run, I just want to get away. All I can hear is my panting, but everything is distant. I can hear shouts, I see people's faces. I need to get away, I start running faster. What the fuck is going on? Am I having withdrawals? Panic attack? Anxiety?

"Get out of my head!" I shout viciously.

I grab my head and lose my footing. I fall splat down face forward.

"Having trouble Emily?" Someone says.

It doesn't take me look to recognize that voice. A hand pulls me up and I'm staring right at Travis face.

"Thanks" I mumble.

"Where you've been? I've missed you!" He says putting his arm over me.

I slump his arm off and try to walk away from him. I feel him grab me and spin me towards himself. He goes into his pocket and pulls out a little baggy.

"Look, I'm sorry and here's for all the troubles okay? It's on me" he slips the bag into my hoodie.

I thank him by giving him a kiss on the cheek and he lets me walk away. I don't want what he gave me, maybe I should sell it? No, I'll just throw it away. I don't know exactly what it is, I pull out the baggy and look inside. It's perfectly white like powder, cocaine. I start running again, my mind is a dangerous place to be in right now, maybe if I run I can get away from these terrible thoughts. I miss running, I used to run a lot.

"God what happened?" I say out loud.

I find myself running to the beach, the sand feels nice on my toes and there's not many people around. It's school hours after all. I go to sit down near a railing, there's a pool right behind me but even if I wanted to swim in the pool, I can't. It's the hotels pool. One line wouldn't hurt me, maybe two. I put my hoodie up over my head, pretending to look like a hobo, waiting for a man to walk by me.

"Hey excuse me sir" I say to the first old man I see approaching "do you have a dollar?"

I could have lied and said I'm starving, need it to be a chocolate bar, but really I need it to snort the cocaine. He goes into his pocket and pulls out a ten dollar bill.

"It's all I have honey, here you go"

He hands me the money and I thank him kindly.

Maybe this is what I should do for a living, I'll probably end up becoming a bum anyway. I wait till he's out of sight and for a few more people to walk away. I take my opportunity by standing up and pouring out the bag on the railing behind me. No ones in the pool area. I'm not trying to rush this, but I also don't want to get caught, I carefully make three straight lines in a row with the powder using my thumb and finger. Once the three lines are done I rub my hands together then roll up the bill.

I put the rolled bill to the start of the line and my right nostril to the end of the bill with my other hand squeezing my left nostril and snort. I'm all done in no less than a minute. Damn, I need a drink. Oh hey! I have ten dollars! I walk off of the beach on to the streets and step inside the first candy store I see. There's teenage boys in here, three of them and the one boy gives me a wicked smile when I enter and the one friend hits his other friend in the chest. I do my best to ignore them, not returning the smile. As I walk to the back of the store and grab a monster, I can hear footsteps approaching.

"Hey babe, there's a party happening tonight on the beach right behind this joint. You should come" he tells me grabbing my drink.

This boy is still a teenager but looks old enough to be finished with high school. He has less to no hair and a sleeve of tattoos. He looks like trouble by the way he grins, and I guess he's only talking to me because I look like trouble too.

"Can you give me my drink back?" I ask.

"I'll get it for you" he offers.

He looks up at the cashier, he's busy with a customer and just like that he puts it in his backpack that he carries.

"Comes in handy huh? I'm Ricky" He says grinning.

"Want anything else?" He says, that grin never leaving.

I look around me, I'm not really interested in any of the candy and chocolates at candy stores, I just like the drinks.

"No it's okay" I say quietly.

He looks back at the cashier.

"Look honey, he's got a line up of customers now, a total of three. He's busy and his eyes aren't on us. You want more drinks? Just open up the door and slide them into my bag, as many as you like" he says.

I open the door and do what he says because why not? I take another green monster, a red one, and a blue one, putting them in one by one.

"Grab me one" he says quickly.

I pick a yellow one and put it in his bag.

"I might as well buy a water for all the trouble" I say.

"Nah" he says loud, putting his arm around me and walking pasty to the front.

God, what's with guys and putting their arms around girls?

"This store doesn't have what I need. You gotta go to Walmart for fucking everything eh boys?" He says leaving the store, his boys following behind him.

We round a corner and I get a good look at the two other guys. The one guy is really tall, he has a small black Mohawk and he's not wearing a shirt, he doesn't have abs; he's just really skinny. Everything about him is skinny. The other guy has both his ears pierced, his eyebrow pierced and shaggy brown hair. He's wearing a baseball shirt open revealing his abs and a tattoo near his nipple of a big claw, and a pair of dark blue jeans.

Ricky puts his backpack down on the ground and pulls out everything from the bag. It looks like they robbed the whole place pretty much. There's the five monsters, a bottle of beer and I'm wondering why they would only grab one, a kit kat, gum, and lots of candy.

"Thanks" I say, finally smiling at Ricky.

I reach for two monsters, and put the one in my pocket. I don't have any room for the other two.

"Hey, why don't you just take the bag? I got lots and plus I'll be seeing ya at the party right? Starts at 11, be there, we're gonna party till the cops come" he says laughing.

"Okay thank you, and I will come" I tell him.

I take the bag and put all the monsters in there except for one.

"Hey Shane, give her the bottle caps and fuzzy peaches huh?" He says looking at the tall boy.

He throws them to me and I smile at him.

"It's okay, you can have them" I say.

"Oh no, take em, I don't need the sugar anyway" Shane says with a very deep voice.

"Okay thanks"

I swing the bag around my back and turn to leave. I feel one of the boys grab ahold of my arm. I turn around and see Ricky.

"Hey, there's a little surprise in there for ya huh? Try to leave some for the party though alright?" He winks.

"Looks like you're already on something though huh? Pupils are all dilated, have fun" he says before I leave.

I have nowhere to go, but I resort going to Travis place, once again.

"Hey, there's a party tonight at the beach, wanna come with me?" I ask him, inviting myself into his home.

I head for the basement and he follows me down the stairs. To my surprise, I jump back when I see a naked girl on the couch. Is that Hailey? It looks like Hailey. She sees me and puts the blanket over herself. What the fuck is Travis doing with such an attractive girl? I mean, why would Hailey get caught up with someone like Travis?

"Forgot to tell you, I already have some company" he whispers in my ear.

"Hey, it's cool" I say sitting down on the couch next to Hailey's legs.

Travis sits on his comfy chair and stares at us.

"Hey Hailey, you know Em likes girls huh?" He says smiling.

"Weren't you telling me that you wish you could fuck a girl?" He says.

Hailey shakes her head and Travis laughs.

"Oh c'mon, we've all thought about fucking the same sex. Hey, I'm not saying I would but sure I've thought about another dick going up in me. I'd probably do it if I were to get drunk with a gay guy, he'd want me for sure I'm sexy as hell" Travis spits.

Cocky little shit, Travis isn't even sexy, he's scrawny, hairs a mess and always off his head. As I'm thinking about Travis, Hailey sits up and next thing I know she's in my face, putting her lips on mine and her hand on the back of my head. This is the first time I've ever kissed someone, and it wasn't the way I wanted it to be, or who I wanted it to be. I push away and get up.

"Oh c'mon Em! You like girls don't you!" Travis cheers.

"I have to go to the bathroom" I say taking my bag with me.

I shut the door and put the toilet seat down, sitting on it. I look inside the bag, pop open a monster and try looking for what he left in the bag. I find a tin full of circle pink pills, ecstasy I'm guessing. Right beside a tin was a bag full of stickers? I pull out the bag and dump the stickers down. There so many of them, some have smiley faces on them, others have a tie dye pattern, and the money symbol, and other have the life and death symbol. I hear a knock on the door following Travis voice, I quickly open the door and drag him in here.

"What the fuck is this?" I ask him.

"Woah! Em, you've been holding out on me" he said, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Just tell me what this is, and then you can have five and a tab" I tell him.

"It's LSD" he said taking five money symbol papers. "Just lick it, or swallow it, like this" he said and popped into his mouth.

"This is a fucked up drug yo, thanks" he said laughing.

I count the rest of them, there's at least 40 papers here, I take twenty of them and put it in my pocket. I take 2 capsules and call it a day. I'm not stupid enough to do anything more, I'm still pretty shaky and all sweaty.

"Em, this shit lasts for 12 hours, I'm gonna be fucked for 12 hours. I'm in lala land already, can barely see you, why are you so far away?" He says, right in front of me, touching me with his arm.

I look at Hailey and she shrugs. She has a paper in her hand, I go to reach for it but she squeezes her palm shut.

"It's mine" she says.

"Actually, it's mine and I gave a few to Travis, not you" I correct her.

"Can I have it?" She asks.

"Honestly, for you own good, no. Please just give it to me, let Travis have them. Don't do this Hailey" I tell her.

She puts her hand with the paper under the blanket.

"You'll have to get it yourself then" she says seductively.

"Oh" is all I could say.

I take the blanket off her and see her exposed body. She's pale, and cleanly shaved. The sticker is right on her thigh. I go to reach for it but she swaps my hand away.

"You have to get it with your teeth" she says.

"No? Because then it'll fuck me up and I'm already on something else. I don't feel like dying today" I say sitting down, crunching her feet.

She moves them quickly away and puts them on my lap. I reach for the sticker, and she grabs my hand this time. She opens up her legs wider and drags my hand on her pelvis. I pull away, I don't want her. I grab the sticker and put it on the table beside the couch.

"You liked Alison didn't you?" She asks.

I flinch when she says her name and stare at her with hate.

"Well, I'm blonde and pretty, just like her. Emily, you should be honoured that a straight girl wants you to fuck her"

"Fuck you" I spit.

"Yeah, that's what I want" she giggles.

"Fuck yourself" I say outsmarting her. But in the end, she just outsmarted me.

Right after I said that, she placed her hand on her boob and slowly made her way down to her vagina. I kept looking away only to look back. What the fuck is Travis doing in all this? He's sitting on the floor, ten feet away from us staring out in front of his wall. I hear Hailey moan and I can't help but look. She's doing such a bad job at fingering herself, it makes me want to show her how it's done. She deserves a pounding, not this slow fucking fingering. I look at her and picture Alison. She's smiling at me. I move her hand and place my hand on her vagina. I feel her with my thumb, she's so wet. I put two fingers on her and rub her as I climb on top of her. She tries to kiss me but I don't want her to. I burry my head in between her neck and put my fingers inside of her. I can't fuck her hard in this position, I pull her up so her heads on the armrest. I put my other arm underneath her and start fucking her fast and hard. She likes it, she's screaming, she's pulling my shirt up and scratching my back. She's wet, she's Hailey, not Alison. I take my fingers out and stop sucking and biting her neck.

"Go clean me up" she giggles.

I back off her and sit back down at the other end.

"God, that was as long as guys last but way better. I didn't even have to fake my orgasm" she laughs.

I don't respond, so she talks again, this time she sounds upset.

"Aren't you going to eat me out?"

She sits up and starts kissing my neck but I back away.

"No" I tell her.

"Why, I taste good" she says grabbing my hand.

She takes the hand I used to fuck her and puts my fingers in her mouth.

"I just wanted to fuck you" I say lightly.

My hands drops down from her mouth.

"Let me fuck you" she plays, touching my leg.

"No, that's fine" I tell her.

"But I want to" she complains.

"Yeah, well I want a lot of things" I say looking right at her.

"Fuck you, you can't just use people like that" she says falling down on the couch covering her body.

"Whatever, you asked for it, wanted it, got it, and enjoyed it" I remind her.

"Travis!" I yell. "Pull yourself together"

He doesn't look at me, he continues to stare blank out in front of him.

"They're talking to me now, the walls are talking but yet they're so far away but I can hear so close, so close!" He cheers.

I look at the clock, it's only 10am, what the fuck am I supposed to do till 11pm? I jump up with an idea that sounds delicious. I don't bother to tell Travis where I'm headed, I'll be back and he'll still be fucked up. He's always off it.

I walk for what seems like forever, it's only three blocks down from Travis house but yet, it feels longer and this weather, fuck this weather I'm sweating so much more now. Oh, I don't feel good, I just need something to eat. I enter the pizza joint and order two slices of pepperoni pizza, handing him the ten dollar bill and getting $8.25 back. I'm so hungry.

"Here you go!" The man says slapping my pizza down on the counter.

I give him a weird look and by the time I reach the door I've already ate half the pizza.

Travis and I left for the party right at 11 on the dot, he's feeling better now and he promised me that he wouldn't do anymore drugs tonight, that he'll just have a few beers or something.

"Where is this place?" He asked.

"On the beach, I told you that already and we're almost here" I say.

We pass the candy store I was at earlier, I smile and grab Travis arm as we turn down a little alley towards the beach. I see the fire from here and a bunch of heads. I have a feeling that the only people I'll know from this party is the three boys and I don't really even know them. The fire is huge and nice and warm, someone brought their SUV all the way up on the beach, which is providing us with horrible garbage music.

"Hey he isn't your boyfriend is he?" Ricky asked.

Nice way to greet someone.

"Wouldn't you be a sorry wreck right now if she was my girlfriend" Travis teased.

"I'm only playing man!" Ricky said slapping him on the back.

"Emily's interested in girls anyways" Travis grumbles.

I feel queasy right away as he said that, you never know how someone's going to react to your sexual orientation.

"Mm, nice Em" Ricky says laughing.

I hand him his bag, he throws it down near the fire. The boy with the baseball tee goes for the bag and pulls out the tablets. He throws two at Ricky and Ricky gives me one. Ricky goes to sit down in the truck of the SUV and I sit beside him, Travis is sitting right near the fire talking to some girl he may or may not know.

"So, what type of drugs have you done Emily?" Ricky asks me.

I look at him, he's playing with the tablets in his hand and grinning like a sucker.

"Uhm, cocaine, mushrooms, weed obviously, and I did heroine twice" I tell him.

"Well here, have your typical dance party drug that all the teenagers use" he says handing me the pill.

I pop it in my mouth and I watch him open up a new can of beer. I swallow the pill and beer down at the same time. I feel it kick in right away, and I start sweating. Today has just been a day full of sweat. I have the urge to dance with all the other people dancing. I get up and I feel Ricky grab onto my arm. I walk towards these two guys dancing, but Ricky pulls me over to where a group of girls are dancing.

"Hey girls, this is Emily, she's new and she likes girls! So, you ladies show Em a good time huh?" Ricky says smiling.

The girls pull me in to their group and I quickly lose sight of Ricky. A lot of them are touching me, feeling me all over. All I do is throw my hands up and just swing my body.

"Oh my god, I'm so thirsty. Aren't you thirsty?" I ask one of the girls who's right in my face.

"What's your name again?" She yells.

"Emily!" I yell back.

"I'm Alison" she says touching my hips.

I stop dancing and stare at her. I miss what she says because she asks me

"Well do you?"

"What?" I say.

"You want me to get you a drink?" She asks.

I don't respond, she smiles and grabs ahold of my hands, pulling me out of the crowd of a bunch of pretty girls. She's pretty too, but I don't want to say her name. She has light brown hair, that looks blonde and her eyes are insanely green, maybe it's the drugs, but she's really attractive. We go over to the car and I grab the beer I was drinking before. She takes it from my hand and takes a sip too. I hear her giggle, and then she grabs my hand again, she sneaks me away to the front of the car and starts kissing me. I feel her open the door and she throws her body down, I get on top of her and slip her leggings off.

"Mmmm, I love girls" she says.

My vision is so blurred right now, I think I'm kissing her. I feel her try to go into my pants but I pull her hand away, and put my hand inside her underwear instead.

"Mmmm" she says flirtatiously.

I feel her lips against my neck, it gets me excited, so I put two fingers inside of her and fuck her as fast I can. Good thing the windows are tinted. She's screaming, so I cover her mouth with my other hand. I put three fingers inside her, and three minutes later she does what she was breathing out loud.

"I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum! Mmm Emily"

She tries kissing me but I pull away, I feel her go down to my jeans but I take her leggings and put them in her hands instead.

"Let's go back out and dance" I say.

"What? We're not done baby, I wanna touch you" she giggles.

"I know, but I want to dance" I say getting out of the car.

I walk quickly to the group of girls that are still dancing and join right in. I see her emerge from the car so I pull myself to the centre of the group. There's girls kissing my neck, and some tugging on my clothes. This girl right in front me, a foreign, she looks Brazilian is taking off her shirt. She throws it into the crowd and I stare at her bra. I go closer to her and start kissing her boobs, she lets me. I feel other people surrounding us, another girl is kissing her lips and I feel one girl trying to take my shirt off but I move her hand. This is like one big orgy, and I'm not going to miss my chance to fuck a hot foreign girl. I stop kissing her chest, I put my lips against her neck while I slide my fingers inside her. I feel her hand on mine while I finger her. She's moaning into the other girls mouth. Just as it was getting good, I feel myself ripped away by someone built strong.

"Hey, that's my fucking girlfriend" The guy in the baseball tee says to me.

"Hey man I didn't know!" I shout.

He pushes me backwards.

"Don't fucking yell at me" he spits.

"Hey, Brock what the fuck are you doing? Leave Em alone" Ricky says.

I feel like Ricky is in charge of everything, and everyone listens to him. Brock gets out of my face and talks to Ricky.

"She was fucking my girlfriend!" He yells.

"What's going on?" I hear a voice behind me say.

I turn my head around, it's the Brazilian girl, she wraps her arm around my waist until she sees Brock.

"Hey baby!" She says running to his side.

"If you didn't want your girlfriend around other people than why did you let her take M you idiot" Shane says, coming from nowhere.

"Yeah, listen to Shaney" Ricky teases.

"Hey Carmen, you were kissing other girls huh?" Ricky says in a gentle tone.

She looks at me.

"Brock, who cares if she's with girls, that's hot. She's your girl, she's dating you. Just let her fuck around with girls" Ricky tells him.

"I like her" Carmen says with her strong accent, pointing at me.

Carmen and Brock don't even look like a cute couple. Brock looks like this huge asshole with a bunch of piercings, and Carmen is this really cute tan girl who dresses nice.

Ricky and Shane both laugh. I look at Brock and he looks like he wants to kill me.

"Hey man" I say putting my hands up in defence "she's all yours, I didn't know. I'll stay away from her"

"You better" he says raising his upper lip.

I go to sit down in the SUV and see Ricky coming towards me with a few girls by his side. One of them is Alison. I look for Travis, he's still sitting down near the fire with the same girl.

"Hey, don't mind Brock, he's really just a big softy for his Carmen. He does everything he can to keep her. I think she only stays with him because he steals her nice things" Ricky says jumping up beside me. Alison jumps up into the SUV behind Ricky and gives him a neck massage. She looks at me with anger and I look away. Some of the girls sit at our feet and one jumps in beside me and lays her head down on my shoulder.

"Good party eh?" Ricky says.

I nod my head and he keeps talking.

"The beginning of the party is always the best, lasts a couple of hours. It's already 1am and you've been with two girls huh?" Ricky grins.

I look at Alison and then look at Ricky.

"Alison said you were with a girl right in this car, not bad Em. You're quite the player. Who was it? The girl on your shoulders?" He asks.

I just nod, not giving enough shit to care or get into this.

"So Em, let's talk business. Work for me, help me make the drugs and sell them. You'll get a cut of the pay, and I need a new hand. I've always wanted a girl worker, especially a pretty one, and knowing you like girls makes it so much better. Stick around Em, you'll get quite the money, and quite the free stuff"

"Okay" I tell him, not really knowing what he just said.

"Nice neck by the way, I can't even see any of your skin" he smirks.

I laugh and that's the last thing I remember from that night.

April 11th

Yesterday Ricky filled me in with everything they do and make, he filled me in with how it all works and where he sells, his biggest costumers, and how much they make roughly. This whole process, just reminds me of Jason. Right now, we're in Shane's truck heading to California to get Coca plants.

"My uncle has a farm in Cali, 50 acres, 18 of it is bush, in other words, coca plants" Ricky tells me.

I learned something about Ricky, he's all smiles and laughs unless he's talking about business.

"We're gonna get every single plant that is good and fill up the boxes in the back of this truck" he tells me.

Where in San Diego, six hours later. Ricky tries knocking on the door but no one answers.

"Alright" he says to himself.

He pulls out a sticky note and a pen from his pocket and writes his uncle a note. We head fast off into the bush in Shane's truck. We go through a field full of hay, or corn, I don't know and then there's a slump down into the landscape and that's when I see it. The plants. You would expect something different, but all it is a circular green looking leafs attached to stems.

"Let's get to work boys!" Ricky shouts jumping out of the truck. Shane goes to the back and gets out all the paper boxes and places them on the ground.

"Just don't pull out the stems Em" Ricky says patting my back.

Obviously, I'm not a fucking idiot. I have to admit though, I never knew cocaine was a plant.

Brock's already back with a handful by the time I pull one leaf from a stem. He looks at me and smirks. It only makes me want to work quicker. By the time he comes around again, I have already filled up a whole box full of good plants, and I see that he picked out a rotten plant in his hand.

"Hey, that one is no good" I tell him.

"Fuck off" he yells.

Ricky pops his head out from a distance.

"What's the problem?" He shouts.

"No problem" Brock tells him.

Ricky looks at Shane and gives him a nod. He starts walking towards us and Brock let's out a sigh as he drops the rotten leaf.

"There's no problem big skinny guy" he says walking away.

"What was it?" Shane asks looking at me.

I point to the leaf and he nods his head. I watch him go back and tell Ricky what he knows, Ricky just nods his head and gets back to work.

Two hours later, we're all done and on our way back home.

"Hey man, I gotta stop here. I'm fucking starving" Shane says pulling into a Walmart.

"Me too" Brock says.

As we get out, I hear a Big Bang and look behind me. Ricky has Brock pushed up against Shane's truck.

"It's not the first time he's tried putting bad plants in a box" Shane says to me.

"If we were to sell bad shit to the wrong guy, it could have us killed you know? Some people are crazy about their drugs"

"Yeah, I get it" I tell him.

We head into Walmart and go to the chip aisle, Brock opens up a bag of Doritos and starts munching on them, staring at me with disgust. Ricky sees this, as he stands right beside me.

"Hey Brock, maybe one of these times you can bring Carmen along huh? Em could probably use girl company" Ricky winks.

Shane let's out a loud laugh as he puts a can of pop in his hoodie.

"Fill the bag" Ricky says throwing it on the ground.

Shane grabs it and puts Dr Pepper, Coke, and Root beer in the bag, he gets two bags of chips and moves to the next aisle, taking a couple kit Kats and Swedish berries. I bring him a can of Pringles, and Ricky comes back with protein bars in his hand and monsters.

"You want one huh?" He says smiling at me.

"Thanks" I say returning his smile.

Brock comes to us with a bag of Hershey kisses, Ricky snatches it from his hand and tells him to go get more. Once he comes back with two more bags, we leave. Only, when we walk through the doors the beepers start buzzing and then we start running away at full speed. We get back in the truck, parked all the way in the back within thirty seconds and I start laughing when we get inside.

"Holy fuck" I breathe.

"Pretty fun huh?" Ricky says.

He opens up a monster and tosses me one too.

"We're not locals, won't be back there for awhile" Brock says.

Ricky hands Shane his chocolate bar and throws a bag of Hershey kisses at Brock.

"You know, I usually sit up front with big boy Shane, but I didn't think you'd be too keen on sitting back here with Brock huh?" Ricky says laughing.

I laugh at that.

April 12th

It's late afternoon, we're all down stairs in Ricky's house, making the cocaine. It's a tiring process even though Ricky said this is the easy and quickest way to make it. We placed the leaves in a fenced up cage with diluted sulphuric acid and stomped on it for a fucking hour. Ricky cranked the heat down here to so the acid helps make the leafs melt faster. After, Ricky added lime into it and we all started stirring it with sticks, then he mixed kerosine in there and put more sulphuric acid. After another hour, it all started to become a paste, losing the green colour completely. Ricky added in potassium permanganate and after that the mush turned white.

"All done baby" Shane said.

"It's still wet, but we let it sit for a day to dry it out. This is pure, will be selling it in a couple days, good work Em" Ricky said.

I looked down at it, there's a fucking shit load. There was boxes full of these green leaves, and now they've turned into white powder, it's almost like a little mountain in there.

"What's next?" I ask eagerly.

Ricky let's out a loud laugh, Shane and Brock join him.

"Eager princess huh? Will start doing something different next week probably. We gotta sell this shit now" Ricky tells me.

"Right" I say.

April 15th

"We got a few main customers right here that love them so coke, and then for the rest of this shit we go down into other cities"

We're on our way to the beach strip, right near the party that happened last week. The guy were headed for right now is coming up to Shane's truck and getting his ounce he ordered. He's older, I can smell him from here, his teeth are all rotten and he looks seriously messed up, he's losing all his hair and his eyes are popping out of his head. He hands us $1,300 and Ricky gives me the money to count it and make sure it's even. I count it twice to make sure.

"Yep, it's all there" I tell Ricky.

Ricky hands this guy his ounce in a bag and he shoves it into his old jacket.

"And hey, remember call up someone else till December" Ricky tells him.

"Later Ricky" he smiles, showing yellow teeth.

We drive down one block and meet our next client. Ricky gets out of the car and grabs the bag that says 10 grams. He comes back with $250 dollars.

By the time were done and heading back to Ricky's house, we've sold all the bags and made over $6000. We sold three ounces and a bunch of the smaller bags.

"Nicely done today guys" Ricky says lining up some for us.

"Let's celebrate tonight" he says grinning.

April 20th

We made heroine yesterday, sold it today. That's where the big bucks come in. $140 per game. We made around ten grand. I'm becoming rich! Ricky suggested for me to try heroine the "fun" way but I told him I couldn't.

"I don't blame you, the three of us have only done it a couple times. It's addicting, the next day is always the hardest but if you can get away without using it, than you'll be better"

"Yeah I get that, but I still don't want to do it" I tell him.

He puts his arm around me and shakes my hair.

"Alright princess! Let's go sell some papers huh? Just me and you, we don't need the big boys around for this" Ricky says looking at them.

Shane hands him ten full sheets of paper and hands me baggies.

"We're gonna sell 9 of the bags than rip some punks off on the streets" Ricky laughs.

We get into his car, he owns a mustang GT, I wish we drove his car around more often. He revs the engine and we go flying off, I'm surprised we didn't attract any cops.

Ricky slows down and pulls out his phone.

"Hey man, you at the beach?" He says.

"Alright, I'll meet you right outside the front" he says and hangs up.

Ten minutes later were parked outside a hotel and Ricky's hands are on my lap searching through the sheets of papers. He picks the one with the dollar signs on it and gets out of the car after seeing someone exit the building. When he comes back he only has a $100 dollar bill.

"LSD doesn't really sell for much"

"Why?" I ask.

"I don't know, it's an experience drug that people usually give away for free" he informs me. "But still will make one thousand so it's all good. I'll give you two fifty. Brock and Shane will only get two hundred and I get three fifty"

"Thanks man" I say hitting his arm.

"You see that guy? Go sell him two sheets and make sure he gives you two one hundreds" he points to a guy in a long sleeve grey shirt and dress pants.

"Doesn't seem like a user" I say.

I pick out a sheet with tie dye on it and swirly lines.

"He goes to a lot of raves" Ricky says as I get out of the car.

I'm scared to be walking the streets right now with sheets of paper in my hand but the guy approaches me right away and hands me two bills and takes the papers out of my hands. I make sure it's two hundred dollars, it is.

"Ricky's girl?" He asks.

"Excuse me?" I say.

"Ricky never lets anyone sell his drugs for him unless it's a girl he really likes. Only ever saw two other girls give me these drugs. Thanks girl" he says then walks away.

I go back into the car, I'm not surprised to what he's said or take it the wrong way. Ricky does like me, were good friends and we've been hanging out for almost a month now. If he was going to do anything he would have already tried. I hand him the money but he pushes me hand away.

"Yours" he says smiling.

We sell the rest of the sheets but one.

Two minutes later, were parked in a parking lot for the beach and get out, the sheet of paper in my hands. I guess this is the part where we sell it to randoms on the street. I start walking but Ricky gives me.

"Hey not so fast princess"

He puts his hand in my jean pocket and pulls out the baggies.

"There's 100 papers, so start putting five in each bag" he tells me.

We get to work and than he throws the empty sheet on the ground. I pick it up, there's a garbage right beside us and I throw it in there. Ricky pops open his trunk and slides his bag over my shoulders, and puts all the baggies in there expect two in his pocket. We have 20 bags to sell.

We walk into an aisle way and wait for the "right" people to approach.

"Hey punk" Ricky says stepping out in front of a teenage boy and dragging him into the aisle.

He's Siberian, really tall and skinny with his hair shaved off on both sides, leaving his black hair in the middle.

"Want some? It's LSD, five in each bag. I'll give you to it for fifteen bucks. What do you say huh?"

He pulls out his wallet, hands him fifteen dollars and takes the bag without saying a word.

We didn't sell all the bags, we only managed to sell 13 of them.

"Shane and Brock can sell the rest somewhere" Ricky grumbled.

He seems upset that he didn't sell all of it, he's driving faster too and he already drives fast. I don't want to say anything to upset him though, so I keep quiet.

April 28th

I have over 11k from selling the drugs with the boys so far. I love it, I'm feeling rich. Plus I get a free hit of anything I want, when I want it.

April 30th

Ricky had a gun pulled on him today. Meth heads are crazy. Maybe I'll only do this drug business until I get 50k and then walk out. It's too dangerous.

May 1st

"Today's the big day honey" Ricky says putting his arm around me.

"Why?" I ask.

"Didn't you hear us last night?" Brock snickers.

"No, I don't remember" I say.

What happened last night?

"You probably don't remember because you were completely off your face. Ricky was sure on your face tho" Shane says laughing.

Brock joins in laughing then Ricky snaps.

"Shut the fuck up!"

Oh my god, what happened last night? I walk away from them and shut the door to Ricky's bedroom. A few second later Ricky walks in and I feel sick. He sits on the bed next to me and puts his arm on my back.

"It's okay, I didn't do anything. We were just kissing I promise you. I want to wait till the perfect moment with you"

Wait, what did he just say? The perfect moment?

"Anyways, after we hit the house, we're gonna celebrate tonight, have a party right here" he says slapping my back.

"Sweet, what are we doing?" I ask.

I remember the last party, didn't I get with three girls? Or two? I don't know, I don't remember.

"You have to have brains to be a drug dealer. I know these guys that live around here that also sell a lot of drugs, they don't know of us because they get the bigger business. That stops today though, were hitting their house, taking every little spec of drugs they have and then calling the cops on them. It feels like Christmas to me today, it feels better than Christmas, God I'm so happy, we're going to have so much money, we're gonna get so fucked up tonight, I'm in love with life" Ricky cheers.

Why did I kiss him last night? I don't even like boys.

"So we're just going to break into the house?" I ask.

"Yes, they left to go to the casino today, I've been tracking them and they're staying in a hotel. We're going to leave right now though. Let's go"

We head outside, it's so bright out, I seriously need to buy a pair of sunglasses. I was hoping we were going to ride in Ricky's mustang but we hope into Shane's truck.

"Here Em" Brock says tossing me a knife.

"Whoa! Careful asshole!" I say.

I move out of the way to let it drop to the floor, no way was I going to catch a fucking sharp knife. Ricky slaps Brock from the side of the head. If I see Carmen tonight at the party then I'm fucking her. I grin at Brock and he gives me a stare with hate burning in his eyes. Ricky's putting a gun into the backpack, so is Brock.

"Just in case" Ricky grins, catching me looking.

I pick up the knife and put it in my hoodie. I grab my bag and slide it on to my back.

"Are we there yet?" I bug Shane.

"Nah, Shane drives like a grandma" Ricky teases.

I feel him rev the engine, it's not hard to make Shane do things the way you want it. Ricky looks back at me and smiles, I smile back but I feel a pit form in my stomach. If Ricky actually likes me then I feel really bad, I'm not attracted to him. I'm not attracted to anyone but her. Sometimes it's hard to remember what she looks like, but I could never forget her, my heart will never forget her. It's impossible to move on from someone you're meant to be with.

"Stop, park here!" Ricky roars.

Shane slams on the brakes and I go flying into his backseat, with my seat belt on.

"Fucking idiot, we can't park in his drive way" Ricky scuffs.

We park across the street from the house and get out of the truck, looking like normal teenagers with their backpack on skipping school. We cross the street, it's a normal neighbourhood, luckily it's the late morning where everyone has already left to go to school and to work. No ones walking the streets, and I can't even get a better look off the neighbourhood because we're hopping the fence right away.

"Aw! There's a kitty!" I yell.

I get down on my knees and start petting it, I pick it up, it's just a baby. Completely black, with a strip of white on the centre of chest.

"Awww" I say again.

"Is it an outside cat?" Ricky asks.

"Is it their cat?" Shane asks.

"I don't know, I guess so. Since its in the backyard. But if it's a outside cat then they would understand that it got lose when the cops break in everywhere. Brock go bring the cat back into the truck" Ricky says.

"What really?" Brock asks.

"Yeah it's cute and we don't have a pet. Now we do" Ricky says giving it a pet.

I hand Brock the kitten as he hops the fence and watch him as he puts it in the truck. I turn around once he turns around.

"Okay, back to business" Ricky says as Brock hops back over.

Whoever this guy is, has one of those old garages that you just lift up by sliding it up.

"Do the honours Brock" Ricky says.

Brock goes over to the garage and lifts the garage up. There's not much inside, I guess that's a good thing considering anyone could have done what we've just done.

"Em, here" Ricky says handing me a screwdriver.

Before any of us do anything we put on our gloves.

We go towards a window and I try to yank the window up with the screwdriver but I can't. Brock takes it from me and does it within ten seconds. He pulls the window more up so I can fit in. I jump up on the ledge and make my way inside.

"Open the back door" Ricky says.

This house is nice, a lot nicer then the shed in the back. When you're a drug dealer you have the money to buy nice things. I unlock the back door and the boys come in.

"Split up, if anyone finds anything, holler out" Ricky says.

I watch Shane open a door and walk downstairs, Brock goes upstairs and Ricky turns a corner. I look where I am, in the kitchen. I open every single drawer, and look inside when I find tins and boxes of food. There's nothing. I pass Ricky in the living room, he's rampaging through drawers too. I make my way upstairs and pass Brock in the bathroom. I open up a door, and guess that this is the guys room. There's a lot of posters of naked girls with a mask on and a gun in their hand. His walls are black, and he has a giant flat screen tv in his room along with a leather couch and king size bed. I go into his dresser beside his bed and find a bag of weed, this is probably his own.

"Found some pills!" Brock calls out.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs the minute he calls out.

"Sneaky bastard" Ricky says.

"Hey" I hear him say coming into the room.

"There's weed in there but maybe we should leave it for the cops" I suggest.

"Did you check the draw underneath?" He asks.

I open it right away and see bags of coke covered to the top in the drawer

"Leave a few, take the rest" he says walking out of the room.

I take every single bag expect the ones on the bottom row. God this is a shit load, I think as I load up the bags into my backpack.

"Boys! Jackpot!" Shane hollers.

I think I found the jackpot, sorry buddy. As soon as I walk down into the basement, I realize that Shane really did find the jackpot.

There's ten huge zip locket bags full of weed, and ten other zip locket bags full of cocaine as soon as we Shane open up a huge dresser. This basement is disgusting, it's concrete and cold on my feet. It smells damp, and it's plain.

"This guy sure has a lot of weed" Ricky says. "Had a bunch of jars full of it in his living room. Took a few buds out from each jar"

"Wait till you see what's behind this door" Shane says laughing.

Shane opens the door, and we discover where they make their drugs. The table is full of syringes, bottles, more bags, a few guns, and it's dirty.

Our setup is way better.

"They're going to get in so much shit when the cops find that these babies" Shane says pointing at the walls.

Attached to the walls is two machine guns, and two pistols, and two huge knives. Holy fuck.

Ricky puts on a pair of new gloves and starts putting some of the needles in a bag we brought.

"There full of heroine" Ricky tells us.

Brock grabs a bag of crystal meth and shows it to me.

"Never do meth, seriously. Never do meth" he says.

He shoves the little bag into his backpack and picks up a few more of the bags. I pick up a little bag of something light brown.

"That's crack cocaine" Brock tells me. "They have like everything here"

"There has to be more" Ricky says.

"Keep filling up but leave at least five bags of everything"

I pick up three more bags of it.

"What did you find upstairs?" Shane asks.

"A bunch of pills. Ecstasy, psp, steroids, sleeping pills, and Em found weed and coke"

Ricky pulls out a flashlight from his bag and leaves the room, we all follow him. He sees another door and rushes for it. It doesn't open.

"Fuck, it's locked and we can't break into it. The cops will know something's up" Ricky says.

"There's got to be a key somewhere" Brock says.

"Go look for the key guys" Ricky says.

I go upstairs and look in the kitchen. We already have so much. This is so exciting, all I want to do is have a lot of alcohol and sex. Wait, I remember seeing a set of keys when I was opening up drawers in the kitchen. I open up every single one till I find a set of keys. I bring them all down to Ricky.

"Good job baby" he says smiling.

He tries every single key, and calls for the boys when the door unlocks on the sixth key.

I hear their footsteps pounding down the stairs. Ricky opens the door and pulls his hand down on the string for the light. The room isn't big, but there's more drugs in here. Huge amounts of it.

"Fucking weed" Ricky scuffs.

"And fucking coke!" Shane cheers.

The drugs are rapped up in plastic paper, sitting on top of each other. There's big bags of meth on top too and big bags of that crack I picked up earlier.

"This is Christmas" Brock says.

"There's 8 bags of each, so take six and leave two"

Brock picks up two bags at a time out of the room, so does Shane and so do I.

"How are we going to walk out with this?" Brock asks.

"Are you stupid? Shane's gonna back in the driveway with his truck. It's cool" Ricky says.

"Start bringing it upstairs, but look at this first boys" Ricky says finally grinning.

Ricky punches the wall in front of him and the wall moves open, he grabs it and shines his flashlight inside. Money, a shit load of money. Stacks and stacks full of $100 dollar bills completely packed inside the wall.

"It wouldn't hurt to take a few stacks huh?" Ricky grins.

He picks one up, it has a $1000 rim around the stack.

"Where did he get that sticker thing?" Brock asks.

"What?" Ricky asks.

"The thing that states it has $1000 in there" he asks.

"You idiot, you can get them at the dollar store" Shane says laughing.

Ricky throws five stacks at us. Surprisingly, the stacks are kind of thin.

"Ou, this one is heavier" Ricky grins.

His mouth drops when he sees the number around the stack of money.

"Holy fuck, ten thousand dollars" Ricky screams.

He jumps up and down and we join him.

"Okay, okay" he says calming down.

He pulls out a lot of money and looks at it.

"He probably has over 500k in here. If we each get one stack with ten thousand in it then it won't right right?" Ricky asks.

"Right" Brock cheers.

He puts back all of the money expect for three stacks. He hands me one, hands one to Brock and Shane.

"Let's get out of here" he says.

Shane picks up two of the white powder bags and carefully walks up the stairs, Brock does the same. I go to pick up the two left but Ricky picks them up instead and I take the rear, shutting off all the lights and making sure the place looked the same as we got here.

"Okay, go bring the truck over here Shane, back it up" Ricky says.

I go to the kitchen and lock the back door after Shane leaves through it.

"We need to leave through the window" I say.

"Yeah, yeah you're right" Ricky says.

"Wait, we can't fit so you'll have to go through it" Ricky says.

He goes to unlock the back door and him and Brock walk out the door with the giant bags of drugs. I grab the two other ones and pass them to Brock through the window. I run and lock the back door. I quickly slide through the window, and I feel my shirt fly up. Ricky grabs me by the legs so I don't fall.

He slams the window shut and then hops the fence. Shane's here, we can hear the engine running.

"Pass me the bags" Ricky whispers.

We toss him over the bags one at a time, then Brock and I hop the fence at the same time. Ricky's putting the bags in the back of the truck and Brock grabs two and I grab the last bag. We quickly toss them in the bag then get in the truck.

"Okay, I'm calling the cops" Ricky says.

Shane drives out of the street and parks at a candy store. The kitty is on Ricky's lap, he seems to like him a lot.

Ricky hands the baby to me and I start talking to it quietly.

"What's your name baby? Hm? You look like a Jasper. Or no! You look like Ace. My little Ace" I say smiling.

"Hi, I'd like to make an anonymous complaint about a drug house in my neighbour hood" Ricky says into the phone like a girl.

The phone he's using is one he found on the ground the other day, just in case anything happens. He's still wearing the gloves.

"Yes, the house is on Orange Avenue, address 1414"

"Thank you for protecting our neighbourhood" Ricky says in a girly voice.

He gets out of the car and runs to the street, he throws the phone down the sewer along with his gloves. He comes back and puts our gloves in the garbage bin outside.

Two minutes later we hear the police coming, a bunch of police. A minute later they drive by, the FBI is with the police too.

We all high five each other.

"I feel like we should have took more money" Brock grumbles.

"I did" Ricky says grinning.

He pulls out three stacks. Two of them are ten thousand and the one is one thousand. He pulls out the other five stacks he had.

"Will split it when we get home. I just want to drive by the house first in a couple minutes"

We wait a few minutes then drive by the house, you can't really see anything but there's people surrounding the place outside and Ricky tells Shane to leave the scene in case anyone saw this truck earlier and takes a picture. You never know.

"Alright! We're gonna party so hard tonight!" Ricky yells.

Ricky throws Brock his phone.

"Make a event on Facebook and start inviting people and text my contacts" he says.

I scoot over to Brock and watch him make the event.

"Party at Ricky's house May 1st"

He posts a status saying

"Party at Ricky's, Riverside Dr. If you know Ricky, than you know Ricky knows how to throw a party, especially in his huge house"

Ricky does have a huge house, it's so beautiful even from the outside, and then when you go inside its like a mansion. Expect, the one part in the basement is horrible, off limits to everyone but us. Ricky has five bolts on that door and three locks.

He makes another status.

"You can bring your own booze, but they're will be plenty of booze already and some Mary Jane, also lots of munchies! Come party and have fun!"

He invites everyone on Ricky's friends list and makes the event public. Ricky had over 500 friends on his Facebook list and he invited them all.

"That's a lot of people" I say.

"Yeah, I know but last time we threw a party about 200 people showed up" Brock says.

"Holy fuck!" I shout.

Shane pulls into the LCBO parking lot. Ricky pulls out five hundred dollars from the one thousand dollar stack. We all head into the liquor store and grab a cart. I love the liquor store, it's like heaven in here. There's so much.

"How old are you anyways?" Shane asks me.

"17" I whisper.

"Actually?" Shane asks.

"Yeah" I say.

"So you're still in high school?"

"No, I got kicked out, I was in grade 11, I'd be going into grade 12 but" I say trailing off.

"Well, we're all 19, expect Brock, Brock's 18" Shane says.

"Who has the fake ID?" I ask laughing.

"We all do" he laughs.

We go into the beer section and put in eight boxes of Corona Extra. Brock grabs a case of Bud Light Lime and I pick up a case of Palm Bays.

"Grab two" Ricky says to me.

I put the one down in the cart and grab another box.

Shane comes to the cart with a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and Smirnoff. I go down the aisle he was in and see the new flavours. Fluffed marshmallow, iced cake, and whipped cream.

"That's nasty" Brock says.

"No, it's pretty and I'll drink it all" I say laughing.

I look in the cart and see fireball, Jack Daniels, Jaeger, and Malibu rum.

"Softer drinks?" I ask.

"Pick some" Ricky says.

I go over and pick up two cases of Mike's hard lemonade flavour black cherry, and I see sour puss so I grab a blueberry flavour and the raspberry flavour.

"Hey Em look, too bad Monsters don't have alcohol drinks" Ricky says pointing to Rockstars.

"Grab some" he says.

I grab a black one and a red one, each can has fucking 6.9% of alcohol in it. They're vodka flavoured. Ricky grabs two more, a white one and a black one.

"Okay this is enough" Ricky says.

We go to the cashier, the little bottle of alcohols that they advertise are so cute. Oh my god, there's a skull head with vodka inside it. I put in the cart and Ricky grins at me. I just want it to keep it, not drink it.

"Phone keeps buzzing in my pocket, you didn't turn off my cellular did you huh?" Ricky asks Brock.

"Sorry" he mumbles.

"There's already 20 people saying they're coming" Ricky grins.

"We getting food?" Shane asks.

"Of course big guy" Ricky says.

"There's a Wal-greens right here" Shane says.

"We know Shane" Brock says.

"Oh boy that's a lot of booze" the cashier says as we put it all up.

"Need a lot of booze for a party" Ricky laughs.

"Teenagers" she scuffs. "ID please"

Ricky pulls out his ID then puts it away.

"$296.80 dollars" she says smiling.

Ricky pulls out three hundred dollars and her smile fades away quickly. She hands him back four dollars and twenty cents.

"Bye bye, have a nice night" Ricky says to her.

She doesn't say anything back and by the time were outside I say

"She's probably just jealous that she's not coming"

All the boys laugh.

"Brock, go get a bag yo" Ricky says.

"Oh yeah okay, because it's not like they're filled with drugs or anything" he says back.

"Oh yeah" Ricky says stopping "looks like we have to buy food now"

"Will just buy chips, like five bags, it'll be like $10 bucks" I say.

"And drinks" Shane says.

We go into wal-greens and walk to the chip aisle. They're on sale too, ninety nine cents. We grab Salt N' Vinegar, Doritos, Ketchup, Smartfood Popcorn, another bag of ketchup, and plain lays chips. We get a 2L bottle of Coke, Mountain Dew, 7UP, and Orange Soda.

"We need dip" Shane says.

"Then go get dip" Ricky tells him.

Shane goes quick since we're checking out. He comes back with sour cream sauce and I gag in my mouth a little bit.

"$11.50" the girl says.

She's around my age, I think I know her. Maybe she used to go to my school.

"Hey, we're having a party tonight you should come" Shane says.

"Where and when?" She asks, sparking up.

"Riverside DR, and come around 10" Shane says.

"Yeah maybe" she says.

I don't think she'll come, she doesn't really look interested.

"Why did you invite her?" Brock asks.

"Because she's hot?" Shane says.

"Not really" Brock says under his breath.

Brock pulls out his phone and stays quiet the whole way back.

"Okay, put it all downstairs. It's already 1, we gotta start setting up this place" Ricky says.

We all swing our backpacks around our bags and Shane, Brock, and I grab the big bags go inside. We don't have to worry about checking to see if anyone's around, Ricky's area is completely private and he has giant bushes up front. It's a nice landscape. I look behind me, Ricky has Ace in his hands. We go downstairs, into the room and dump everything out on the floor. I have at 16 bags of cocaine, &amp; five little bags of crack cocaine. Brock has a bunch of everything, he has 7 bottles full of different drugs.

"What's in the bottles?" Shane asks.

Ricky comes downstairs and puts his bag down on the ground.

"This one is full of PSP, orange tablets, there's two full of ecstasy, one is steroids, it's a long blue pill, and three are sleeping pills, which kind of sucks ass-"

"No it doesn't, I know lots of people that buy sleeping pills" Ricky says.

"And the last one is more PSP" Brock finishes.

He had the big bags of weed in his backpack, and a lot of bags of meth, nine I think.

Shane has the big bags of coke, he took a fucking gun?!

"Why did you take a gun?" Ricky asks seriously.

"Because it's a nice one, it's a revolver, we don't have one" he says.

Ricky had five bags with the needles in them.

"There's five in each bag, one has six in them" Ricky says.

"40 for each one man" Shane says.

"45" Ricky says.

He also has a four baggies full of weed.

"Hmm, I'm thinking we have at least 500 grams of weed, because there's ten big bags filled, and I got at least 50 buds from all his jars, and then there's a lot already grinned up in those four bags, holy moly" Ricky says.

"The big bags are ounces right?" I ask.

"No, an ounce is nothing. It's 28 grams, basically the bags of coke you got are ounces. These big bags are like fucking 10 ounces" Ricky tells me. "Actually, Shane count how many grams are in the big bags"

"Okay boss"

"That's nice, 16 bags of the ones I got is basically around twenty thousand" I say.

"Mhm, twenty thousand and eight hundred" Ricky says.

"There's 500 exactly" Shane says.

"Oh shit, we could've just put it on the scale" Ricky laughs.

Shane punches him in the arm and puts all the bags of weed on the scale. There's all 500 grams, the coke is more since its powder. There's 800 grams of coke in each bag.

"Shit so, 500 grams of weed that's like $15 a gram, oh my god we're gonna be rich boys" Ricky says.

"Seven thousand and five hundred for one bag, seventeen thousand five hundred for all ten of the bags" Brock says looking down at his phone.

"Okay now the coke, 60 per gram so what's that?" Ricky asks looking at Brock.

He takes a minute to answer

"Forty eight fucking thousand, oh my fucking God. That bag is worth alone, forty eight fucking thousand. We can retire boys!" Brock shouts.

"How much for all ten?" Ricky shouts.

"AH!" Brock jumps getting up.

"Fucking forty eight hundred thousand dollars" Brock nearly faints.

We're all smiling like assholes.

We literally took their whole life supply, oh my god, they would be the rich ones right now, not us!

"Okay quick let's finish the calculations and go see the news" Ricky jumps.

"The bags we have won't fit on the scale" Shane says.

"Will all start putting them in bags. Make fifty ounce bags of coke and fifty ounce bags of weed" Ricky says.

I go upstairs and grab a bunch of zip lock bags.

I come back down and tell the boys that I'll be the one to make the fifty bags of weed. I finish five bags and look at the boys. There's about one hundred bags on the floor of grams of coke.

"Start making five grams in a bag and ten grams in the bags, especially for the weed, and make twenty grams too" Ricky says.

Good thing I brought down all the zip lock bags.

By the time were finished, the room is literally full of bags of drugs. This is insane. Good thing we put them all in order. Now we're labelling which is which.

There's 50 ounces of weed and coke. There's 150 bags of 5 grams of the weed and coke, 270 bags of 10 grams, and 167 bags of 20 grams, and about 230 bags of one gram of coke. The weed is pure, already grinned and everything.

"One thousand and five hundred grams roughly" Shane says.

"PSP tablets are $10 and there's 40 altogether. Steroids are like $5 and there's 20. The ecstasy is ten dollars too for one pop and there's 25. We have 80 sleeping pills and 20 sleeping pills sell for forty"

"What's left?" Ricky asks.

"Crack and meth" I answer quickly.

"How much meth?" Ricky asks.

"There's at least 20 small crystals in each bag and I have none bags" Brock says.

"So, we can make teenths, about five bags and make one hundred for each bag so that's five hundred. How much crack?" Ricky asks.

"There's five bags" I say tossing one to him.

"This right in the bag is worth $400" Ricky says.

"They're all like that" I say.

"Okay so two thousand" Ricky says.

"Brock, add it all up on your calculator" Ricky says.

After what seems like forever Brock finally says.

"Okay, I can't do all the math but if we sell all of this, it'll be worth more than six hundred thousand" Brock says jumping.

"Oh my god" I breathe.

"Alright, we're gonna get busy tomorrow" Ricky says.

We head up stairs and all clank a beer together as we watch the news. It's live, and it's about the house.

His name was Brandon Hent, he was raised by foster parents and they're trying to find him now. The news says that they found over 500 hundred thousand dollars in his house, a lot of guns, and a lot of drugs.

All the boys laugh and I stay there in quiet.

"Wanna hit Em?" Ricky asks.

They're smoking weed.

"Did you get it from downstairs?" I ask.

"Nah, this is a stash I've had that my uncle gave me a month ago" he says.

I take the bong from his hand and light one up.

"Nice" I say.

"Em! Can you go get the stuff we bought from the truck?" Ricky asks me.

"You didn't bring it in?" I ask.

"Nah, I brought in the cat" he laughs.

I go into the car and grab as much I can. I make five trips to the car, fucking assholes didn't even help me.

"Oh yeah guys, let's split this money right now" Ricky says.

I go into the room and grab my beer and take a sip.

"So, ten thousand, two ten thousands" he laughs.

"Two thousand each from one, so four thousand each then two thousand left over" Ricky slurs.

"And plus the five thousand so that's five thousand now and three thousand left over" Ricky says.

"Okay, you three have it, I'll just take four thousand, it's all good you fuckers only have one thousand more" Ricky laughs.

We all now have 15 thousand dollars, just from hitting that house, expect Ricky. Ricky only has 14 thousand.

I start tidying up the house, I put out bowls for the chips and tuck in things that people can break. Ricky is on his xbox making a playlist and Shane is eating the chips. I slap him away.

"Go put on something nice" I tell him.

"Like look at Brock"

He's wearing a tank top and white shorts, he looks really muscular.

"Okay" Shane says walking away.

He comes back downstairs without his shirt on and jeans. I roll my eyes. I decide to go change too. I go into the room I stay in and put on khaki shorts, a black t-shirt, a monster SnapBack, and black shades on.

"I'm going to the pet store, anyone wanna come?" I ask.

"No" Brock says.

"Can I take your car Ricky?" I ask.

"Uh, yeah. Don't speed though, and be careful" Ricky says.

"I will" I tell him.

I pick up the kitty.

"We're going for a little ride baby" I tell him.

As soon as I get to the pet store I feel a little shy. The girl working is really pretty, she has long dark hair and it's curly. She's very tan and has her nose pierced. Her eyes are dark green. I feel like she'd give me a dirty look if she were to see me on the streets, she's only nice right now because she has to be.

"Aw he's so cute! What's his name?" She asks me.

"Ace" I smile.

She pets him and asks what I'm looking for.

"Good cat food?" I ask.

She laughs and I follow her.

"Most people buy Whiska's and buy Friskies together, it's like cat food then putting tuna on it" she says.

"What?" I ask completely confused.

"A lot of cat owners buy cat food then buy Friskies to put over the cat food" she says shyly.

"Oh okay, thank you" I say.

"I can bring up the bag for you" she says.

"Oh no I'll do it" I tell her.

"No no, I will" she giggles.

I hand her Ace and put the cat food up front. I'm about to pay for it when I realize that I need more cat stuff.

"Oh wait, I need more things" I say out loud.

I go back into the store and grab temptations, a stick with string attached to it at the end, and a little bed.

She tells me the price, fifty something, I can't remember what she said exactly because I'm lost staring at her lips. I don't come back till I'm handing her a one hundred dollar bill and our hands touch. I hear her giggle and I can't help but smirk. I'm pretty sure she wants me just from hearing her giggle, I'm sure her moan sounds amazing.

"There's a party tonight, you should come" I flirt. "Riverside DR, you'll know what house it is, come at ten"

"I won't know anyone" she says shyly.

"You'll know me" I say. I back up and say "this is what I'll be wearing"

She bites her lip and says "you won't be wearing it for the whole party"

"Oh yeah? Why's that?" I ask.

"Shh, there's a baby here" she says winking.

She hands me the bag, and put Ace in my hand and the bed in my other hand.

"I'll see you later" I tell her.

"Maybe" she teases.

By the time I get back its already 4, fucking time flys by when you actually enjoy life.

*Alison's side*

I'm freaking out because I messaged Emily last night on Facebook. She didn't reply, she still hasn't seen it and I just can't help wonder why I haven't done this before? Why did I have to wait so long to message her? I told her

"Hey, I miss you so much and I'm sorry I had to leave. I'm sorry about leaving you without saying goodbye in the hospital, my dad rushed me. I miss you so much Emily, you're my best friend and I love you. I love you so much"

I'm typing to her again right now.

"It's May 1st, I get out of school in two weeks and well, my dad said we can go back home. I hope we can be friends again Emily. I hope you don't hate me"

I don't understand why Emily hasn't been on her social media sites lately. Who knows, maybe she decided to get away from it. I wish I could get away from it. I go back on my phone and try calling Aria.

"Hello?" I hear a familiar voice.

"Oh my god! Aria! Hey it's Alison" I cheer.

"Hey, how have you been?" She asks plainly.

"You don't sound too excited" I say sadly.

"Well, when you don't try to keep in touch for almost a year"

"It's not like you tried to keep in touch either" I say defending myself.

"Emily's a wreck because of you" Aria says in a heart beat.

I heard what she said, but I say

"What?"

"Nothing" she says.

"What's wrong with Emily?" I ask.

"It's not my place to tell you Alison. If she wanted you to know she would tell you. You know it really fucked her up that you just left" Aria says then hangs up.

I was just about to tell her I'm coming back down. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. What's wrong with Emily? I go to bed, crying myself to sleep. Emily, I love you. I hope you're okay.

*Emily's side*

"Mmmmm, you're so good" Danielle says in my ear.

Danielle's the girl from the pet store. I'm a little drunk, and we're in my room. I threw her on the bed and took off all her clothes.

"Yeah, and you're the one not wearing clothes" I point out.

She giggles, and then she moans.

I finger her nonstop for ten minutes then stop, can't do anymore, too tired and there's so many more girls downstairs. It's so loud, and I'm up here missing the party.

"Kiss me" she giggles.

Instead I pull my fingers out of her and get off her.

"Gotta party more" I say.

"We are partying" she giggles.

"Come" I say grabbing her.

She flys off the bed and I open the door but she slams it shut and turns around. She starts kissing my neck and tries to touch me.

"Party" I say opening the door and leaving.

Everyone down stairs is dancing, the music is so loud, thank god kitty is stuck in my room behind close doors. Oh yeah, I go back into the room to make sure she shuts it when she leaves. We walk downstairs together and I lose sight of her as soon as a crowd comes close to us. I open the door to the basement, more fun down there. I try walking down the stairs but there's people making out right there, I push them out of my way and trip down the stairs.

"Em!" Ricky shouts.

He's on the couch sitting with a bunch of girls playing xbox and drinking beer. I go for his beer and chug it. I realize sitting right next to Ricky is Alison.

"Ew" I mumble.

I make room for another person on the couch and sit in between two hot girls.

"Ricky, you got a lot of hot girls" I laugh.

"Yep, there's only hot people on this couch" he says.

He's not even looking at any of us, he's playing his video game. I think it's call of duty because he keeps shooting people who look like they're in armour. I feel a hand fall near my vagina and look away from the screen and towards the girl who touched me.

I smile at her and move her hand.

"Hey" I say.

"Want some?" She asks putting her drink in my hand.

She's drinking a Palm Bay, and I take her last sip, then I take off her pants.

"God Em, you're a lady killer huh?" Ricky says laughing.

She's kissing another girl while I rub her clit and I feel like everyone on this couch is now having an orgy because of me. Alison is kissing Ricky's neck but looking at me. As soon as she catches me looking at her she throws off her top, she's not wearing a bra. I don't know if she's trying to make me jealous but it's not working because I don't give a fuck about her or anyone. I look away and decide to do what I didn't do to her, what made her so angry. I get off the couch and go down on my knees and start eating the girl out. She's moaning so loud and then I fall to the floor because someone bumped into me. It's Alison.

"You bitch!" She screams at the girl on the couch.

"What the fuck, who are you calling a bitch?" The girl says getting up.

Poor Alison, whoever this girl is, is right in her face now and I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. She's muscular, kind of looks like what I used to look like, her hair is up in a high bun and I don't know, she's just sexy. I get up by pulling myself on someone sitting on the couch. The girl pushes Alison.

"Can you guys get out of my way?" Travis says.

Why isn't he interested in a girl half naked fighting another girl? I wonder.

I pull Alison to my side and the girl comes rushing to us. I feel like she's about to punch her in the face so I step in front of her, and sure enough I get whacked in the face. My nose hurts, I put my hand to my nose and sure enough I'm bleeding.

"Hey, get out" Ricky growls.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" The girl says.

"Stacy, get the fuck out. Don't make me get up" Ricky shouts.

"Fine whatever, fuck you all" she says.

The girls on the couch get up and follow her.

"You good Em?" Ricky asks as I sit up.

"Yeah" I say.

"Good, I need to find more girls now to sit with me" Ricky complains.

"Sorry?" I say confused.

He gets up and goes upstairs.

Alison kneels by my side.

"I'm so sorry Emily, I didn't mean for you to get hit. Thank you though" she says.

"Yeah, whatever" I say.

"Can we talk?" She asks.

"About what?" I say confused.

"Let's go get a drink" she says.

She puts on her top, and it kind of makes me sad because she does have really nice boobs actually. I grab the last Corona from the fridge and she takes a shot. She grabs my hand and walks me outside. I don't know where we're going but I end up falling on to the grass so she sits down next to me.

"I've been trying to make you jealous" she spits out.

"I know" I say.

"Why don't you want me?" She asks.

"I don't want anyone and I don't know you" I tell her.

"Maybe we can have sex when you're sober or something" she says.

"Hm? What?" I ask pulling up my lip.

What the fuck is she talking about?

"We should just hang out one day" she says.

"Okay"

She comes closer and tries to kiss me but I don't want to kiss her. I don't want to kiss anyone.

I get up and walk back into the house.

"Holy fuck! There you are! Are you selling any of the tablets?" Brock asks.

Carmen is right by his side and she's smiling at me. I try not to look at her and look at Brock.

"No" I say.

"You said you would, sell some" he says handing me a few. "It's PCP, ten dollars for one tab" he says then walks away.

"Hey" I say to the first person I see.

"Wanna buy some pcp, it really fucks you up"

"How much?" The girl says.

"Ten dollars" I say.

She hands me a bill and I hand her the pill.

I end up selling the rest in my hand, there was 7. I celebrate by drinking some more and go to put my money in a shirt in my closet. There's two in my bed, if it was a guy and girl I would have kicked them out, but it's two girls and I strongly support.

"I just gotta get my shirt" I say.

"It's my room though" I say before they can respond.

"We're sorry" the one giggles.

"You can join us if you want" the other flirts.

I walk out of the room and go back downstairs, I join the people dancing. After what sees like an hour I fall over, I'm too drunk for this shit and I need sleep.

When I wake up I end up in my bed and rub my head. I don't remember falling asleep in my bed. I sit up and see a piece of paper on my dresser.

"I brought you up to your bed - Alison

(Well I made a guy bring you up to your bed but I put the covers over you and made you drink some water)

I groan and fall back down on my bed. I shouldn't have drank so much.

Someone opens my door and throws a water bottle at me.

"It's 12 and we have some business to do" Brock says.

May 2nd

We sold a lot of coke yesterday. Sold ten of the bags I had. Then sold the last six today. We are twenty thousand and eight hundred dollars richer.

May 4th

There's a huge rave happening tonight. Ricky's sneaking in all the ecstasy pills through his sock and Shane's putting the sleeping pills in his sock.

They sell them all. They rake in four hundred and ten dollars.

We end up raving for the rest of the night. I enjoyed it, a lot of girls were dancing on me, grinding their ass on me. Mm, Shane had a lot of fun too.

May 7th

I hear a knock on the door and go to answer it.

"Hey" Alison says as I open the door.

I walk outside and into her.

She looks so much like Alison, they're both blonde.

"It's not good to be near you" I say.

I can feel myself starting to tear up so I open the door to go back inside but she grabs my hand.

"Emily please, what's wrong? You want me too don't you? You're scared. Just open up Emily" she says grabbing my face.

I take her hands off my face and feel myself crying. She tries hugging me but I push her away.

"Emily, whatever hurt you, you need to learn to move on" she says.

I let her hug me this time and cry on her shoulders. I feel her kiss my neck, Alison's kissing my neck. She pulls away and I see her face.

"I love you Alison" I tell her.

I swear I hear her say it back, and then we start kissing. Her mouth is so warm, her lips are so wet. I feel her and go down my body and she pushes me up against the wall. She touches me there, and then I suddenly remember that this isn't the way I want it to start off with her. I'm in love with her and there's so much more that I want to do.

"Alison no" I say opening my eyes.

I jump back, it's not Alison. I mean, it's Alison, but it's not her.

"I have to go" I say.

"You're fucked up Emily, you're fucked up!" She yells as I shut the door.

May 18th

We went down to Las Vegas today to try and sell everything else. We're in an alley way that's known for getting hooked up with drugs. We stand there and people come to up to us, it's like the people know.

"Heroine" one guy says.

He's scary and I back away.

"I want two he says"

"$90" Shane tells him.

Shane gets the money and counts it, then Ricky hands him two of the syringes. Another guy walks up and wants heroine too.

"I'll take two bags" he says.

He hands out five hundred dollars and Ricky doesn't hesitate to take it with a smile.

"Oh wait" Ricky says.

"This one has an extra syringe, it's all good" Ricky says.

The man walks away, feeling like he got a deal.

"Do you have any crack?" One guy screams at us.

"Yes" Ricky says calmly.

"How much, how much?" He jumps.

Ricky shows him a bag from in his coat and he guy looks like he wants to drool.

"Four hundred" Ricky says.

"I'll take two" the crackhead says.

"Hey, you got any meth too?" He asks.

Ricky pulls out another bag of crack, and shows him a bag of meth.

"One hundred coin for the meth" Ricky says.

"Cool cool, I'll take two too" he says so happily.

The guy hands him ten one hundred dollar bills and blesses Ricky.

"I love drug addicts" Shane laughs.

"It's actually sad" I say too quietly for anyone to hear.

There's a line up in front of Ricky now, which means we have to get in a line too. I have coke on me, so does Shane. Brock has all the weed.

"Weed" Brock coughs.

A lot of people line up with him.

"Cocaine" Brock says pointing to himself and me.

All the guys line up to me and few girls that are here lined up to him.

"You're really pretty" the one guy says.

"How much do you want?" I ask.

"10 grams honey" he says.

He puts six hundred dollars down my pants and I immediately want to gag. I take the money from my pants and put it in my pocket.

"Do you got an ounce?" The next guy says.

I end up selling all of the coke I have, and end up with seven thousand and six hundred and eighty dollars.

"I'm all out too honey" Shane says.

"How much?" I ask.

"I just sold 10 bags of ounces. A little over sixteen thousand" he says.

I walk over to Ricky's side and he hands me a bunch of money.

"There's over ten thousand, I sold all the heroine, crack, and meth" he tells me.

All that's left now is steroids, weed and coke.

"Where's all the coke?" I ask.

"In the truck" he says.

I start walking to the truck but realize Shane's already there and so are people.

"Here" Brock says handing me his money too. "All the ounces are gone" he says laughing.

"Bunch of punk ass teenagers like us" he says.

I run to the car and put all the money in the glove compartment and go back to Brock to take more money.

By the end of the day we made over thirty seven thousand dollars.

Ricky said he knows people who would buy the big bag of cocaine, we're going later tonight.

We had to a motel right outside the city, and wait in Shane's truck for the people to show up. Once they do, I immediately go to Ricky's side because I'm scared. They're bikers, they're full of tattoos and completely strong.

"Where's the bags?" He says in a deep voice.

Ricky shows him the bag.

"Alright, the money is all there" he says pointing to his buddy with a case.

"And there" he says pointing to another guy with a case.

"Two hundred thousand in each case and here's eighty thousand" he says.

There in stacks just like at Brandon's house, labeled with ten thousand dollars piece of paper on them.

"That's a lot of cocaine for you boys" Ricky says.

"You worry about yourselves and do your own thing" the man in charge says.

Shane and Brock walk up to the man, and two other guys walk up and grab the bags, exchanging them with the cases. Ricky hands him the last two bags and the man hands him the eight stacks.

"Pleasure doing business with you. The money's all in there" he says looking at the two boys.

Shane and Brody are counting it.

"I believe you" Ricky says.

"Have fun with it, or have fun selling it" Ricky grins.

They hop on their motorcycles and drive away loudly. I never liked how loud motorcycles were.

"We're rich now!" Ricky grins.

He pulls me in for a hug then kisses me on the lips. He knows I've been taken in by surprise then backs off. He looks me in the eyes, then hugs me again. I hug him back.

*Alison's side*

May 18th

Today's my last exam and my dads picking me up right after school and we're going back home. I can't stop crying. I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying because I'm happy. I finally get to see her again. There is no holding back this time, I'm going to tell her I've been in love with her since the day I met her. Oh god, I've died without her.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asks me.

"Yeah I'm fine" I say, she's killing my vibes.

"So you're leaving" she says.

"Yeah" I say walking away from her.

"Done!" I shout. I look at the clock, it's been ninety minutes, I can leave!

I race outside of this stupid fucking building and see my dads SUV. I go inside and look in the back seat, everything's back and I'm so happy, my face hurts from smiling so much.

We're two hours away from home and I'm bouncing up and down the whole time, singing my heart out to music.

I race through the front door and give my mom a giant hug. She visited us occasionally, but it feels so good to be back at home with her.

"I love you sweetheart" she says.

"Is Jason home?" I ask.

"No honey, he's out with his friends" she says.

I run up the stairs to my room and lay on the bed, it's the same way I left it. All my pictures are still up on the wall and I go to my dresser. I pick up the picture of me and my friends. I stare at Emily, and I swear I've never felt this happy in my whole entire life. I run back down the stairs and tell my parents that I'm going over to Emily's.

"Be careful!" My dad yells after me.

I race for her house, it usually takes ten minutes to walk there but I ran and got there and five. Ha Em! Let's see who's the runner now!

I knock on the door. Emily's dad answers it and I want to hug him but remember that he's strict.

"Hi Ben! Is Emily home?" I ask looking into his house.

"No, she doesn't live here anymore" he says.

I feel taken back when I hear him say that.

"What? Where does she live?" I ask.

"With Aria" he says then closes the door on my face.

What an asshole, that's probably why Emily left.

I race back to my house and go into the garage to get my bike. I would take the car but I don't think my dad would let me. Plus, it's better I blow off all this energy I have.

I get to Aria's house in under 15 minutes and knock on the door. She answers and I embrace her with a hug.

"Aria!" I cheer.

"Oh my god Alison, what are you doing here?" She asks half happy half worried.

"I came back" I say smiling.

Why is everyone acting so weird?

"Is Emily here?" I ask.

"Aria, who is that?" I hear her mom say.

She comes to the door then hugs me when she sees me.

"Oh my god Alison, it's so good to see you!" She cries.

"Thank you" I say.

"Hey, is Emily here?" I ask Aria again.

"No, she left last month" Aria says quietly.

"Oh? Where is she now?" I ask.

Aria's mom stops smiling and I start to worry. Aria doesn't answer.

"Aria? Where is she? Where's Emily?" I ask.

"I don't know. She doesn't have a phone anymore either. I don't know where she went, but she's alive" Aria says jumping on the last three words.

"She's alive? Why wouldn't she be alive? Because she's on her own now or something?" I ask.

"Yeah" Aria says quietly.

"Why did she leave?" I ask.

"Because you left" Aria says finally meeting my eye.

Oh my god. I fall to the floor and start crying. Where's Emily? Where is she?

"I love her" I cry out loud.


	17. Safe

*Alison's side*  
"There's no way to get in touch with her? Why didn't you guys call the cops?" I ask Aria.  
"Well because she's just having a rough time and needs space I guess, I know she's okay. She texted me awhile ago saying everything's fine" Aria tells me.  
"When did she text you? What's the number?" I ask her losing my patience.  
She pulls out her phone and goes through her text messages. She shows me and I snatch her phone from her hand.  
"Hey, it's Em. I've been keeping busy and I got a job now! Everything's good, thanks for letting me crash at your place"  
I look at the date, April 29th 4:14am  
I take out my phone and text the number in a heartbeat.  
"Emily?" I text.  
A text comes back.  
"No, it's Ricky aha. Who is this? A friend of Em's? Why don't you come by tonight, we're ordering pizza and a couple friends are coming over anyways" He texts back.  
Wow, I could have been a complete stranger.  
"Where?" I text back.  
"Riverside drive, the private house, you'll know when u see =)" he says back.

*Emily's side*  
"Hey Em, I think Aria texted you, said she's gonna stop by later or it was Travis, I don't know, but you don't have many friends right?" Ricky says.  
I laugh at that and nod my head.  
"I'm thinking, video games and pizza tonight. Brock, hit up a few girls! Call them over" Ricky shouts. "And call for pizza!"  
A couple hours later, the pizza arrives and so does Carmen, Alison and a few other girls. God why can't this girl just fucking leave?  
"Hey" she says as I open the door.  
We all go downstairs and sit on the couch.  
Brock and Ricky are playing Call of Duty together and Shane's in the corner playing pool with three other girls. I look at Alison, she's taking a hit from our bong. She blows her smoke into another girls mouth, _how sexual._ I punch up a bowl and take a hit. I go towards the girl she blew the smoke at and kiss her, filling her mouth with a bunch of smoke and she exhales it once I stop kissing her.  
I grin at Alison, and she gets up and leaves. The other girl follows her, so I follow the girl.  
"Fuck you both" Alison says slamming the basement door.  
The girl in front of me opens it and I catch Alison's arm.  
"I'm sorry" I laugh.  
She pushes me.  
"Oh it's fucking funny?" She yells in my face.  
"No, I'm just high" I lie, laughing again.  
I start walking upstairs, figuring I'm done with this night and these girls.  
"Bye bye" I shout out at them as I get upstairs.  
I fall on my back into my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I would have never pictured my life to be like this a year ago. God, so much happened, so much fucking happened. I pull out a bag of coke, it always helps me forget how shitty my life really is. The truth is, no matter how much money you have, nothing will ever really make you feel happy if you're empty inside. I could have moved on from Alison, but the truth is I can't, because I love her. It doesn't matter if it's been one year or seven, I'll always love her and she's always on my mind. I stare at the bag in my hands, but then I hear footsteps approaching and roll my eyes. I toss the baggy on my dresser and wait to see if someone stumbles into my room. It's probably both of the girls, girls can't stay away from me, they love me.

The door creaks open, and a blonde girl with light blue eyes walks in, so light I can see them from here, her hair is long, she looks tan, and she's wearing a light pink summer dress. I bolt back up into my bed and hit my head hard against the frame. I start crying, I know who it is. My heart feels like it did the day in the hospital. I put my hand to my chest, to keep my heart from exploding. I let out a groan, and a breath of air.  
"Emily?" I hear her say.  
I couldn't forget her voice even if I tried. She always sounded so sophisticated, she always sounded so sure of herself. I loved her voice, I love everything about her, but she fucking destroyed me.  
I can't seem to find my voice, I don't reply back, but I sit up in my bed. My vision is blurry from crying. She walks towards me and touches my face.  
"Emily, you look so different. You're so skinny, what happened to all your muscle?" She says getting down on her knees.

_Really Alison? That's the first thing you say?_  
I look her at face while she looks at mine, she's crying too but she's smiling. I feel her hands on my knees and all I want to do is hug her and punch her at the same time. I grab her hands, I stand up from my bed dragging her up with me and throw my arms around her back. She hugs me back. I've never hugged someone so hard before. I don't ever want to let her go, I'm afraid if I do she'll leave again. I'm crying like a baby now, I can't seem to stop.  
"Alison, why did you leave me?" I manage to chock out.  
It hurts to much, my heart hurts so much. I try to let go but she pulls me in closer.  
"You broke my heart" I try screaming but it comes out as a whisper.  
She moves her head from my back and looks at me.  
"Emily, I broke my own heart leaving you" she says. "It wasn't my fault. I'm so sorry" she cries.  
I put my head back into her shoulder, she smells so good, like strawberries and fresh air. I realize that all I smell like is weed and cigarettes.  
I try to break from her grip again but she's strong, and I'm weak. I pull her arms off of me and stare at her. I wipe my tears away but there's no point, they just keep coming back. I can't believe she's here right now. I fall to the floor, too sad to care that it really hurt. She gets on the floor too and hugs me again.  
"Why are you back?" I ask.  
"Why did you never text me or call me?" She says raising her voice.  
"Because I was a fucking wreck when you left for months! I couldn't fucking do anything Alison! Then I got kicked out of my house and didn't have a phone anymore" I tell her.  
I stop hugging her again, I just want to see her face. I put both my hands on her face and look at her. I look into her eyes and feel safe.  
"Alison, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" I cry.  
"I love you, I love you" I cry louder.  
I feel her put her arms around my body again.  
"I'm in love with you Alison. I love you, I'm dying without you. I'm fucking dying without you" I tell her.  
She digs her face into my chest.  
"Emily, I'm here. I'm not leaving ever again. I'm here, I promise. I love you" she tells me.  
I don't know how I feel right now. I feel broken, fixed, depressed, and happy all at once. All I know is that I never want to let her go.  
She picks me up off the floor, and we hug again.  
"My hearts broken" I sob.  
I feel her walk me to my bed and I lay down, she lays down beside me. I put my arm underneath her head and my other hand across her stomach. She puts her arm underneath me and her other hand on my heart. We both feel it pump faster.  
"No, I can fix it" she tells me.  
"I should have told you I loved you sooner, maybe you would have stayed" I whisper.  
I hear her cry and I push her head closer to me.  
"Alison, I've tried so many ways to kill my sadness, I've done so many bad things just to feel alive. I can't live without you Alison, I don't know how much longer I could have survived"  
I start crying like crazy again and I feel her push up on me. I don't know how much closer we can get to each other, but I'm so glad I have her here, I'm so glad we're holding each other tightly.  
She snuggles up onto my chest, and I feel myself falling asleep.  
"I love you, please stay" I tell her, feeling for the first time in a year happy.  
"I'm in love with you Emily I always have been, and I'm not going anywhere" she cries.

I wake up from what I thought was a dream, but I look down and see Alison on me. I pinch my skin hard enough that I yelp. I close my eyes and open them a bunch of times and she's still there. I start crying. She moves, and I try to stop crying. I didn't mean to wake her up. She looks up at me and smiles, she's beautiful.  
"Em!" Ricky shouts opening my door.  
Alison bolts up and hits my jaw with her head.  
"Oh I'm sorry ladies. Who's this Em? A new lady friend?" Ricky asks grinning. "Em, Em, the lady killer"  
I feel Alison look up at me and I don't know what to say.  
"She's my friend from school" I tell him.  
"Just a friend?" He asks.  
"I love her" I spurt out, I said it in the heat of the moment. I shouldn't have.  
Ricky raises his eyebrow then shuts the door. I hear a bang a few seconds later. Fuck, why did I have to say that?  
"Who was that?" Alison asks.  
I don't reply, because Ricky hits the wall again and I suddenly don't feel safe anymore.  
"You're a lady killer?" Alison asks.  
I look down at her, she looks pissed off.  
"No" I say.  
She doesn't believe me so I explain to her.  
"I've only been with four girls I think, and I didn't let any of them touch me. I just touched them. I didn't even kiss any of them. I never wanted any of them, I only ever wanted you and I only ever was with girls when I was drunk or on dru-" I stop talking, realizing she doesn't know.  
Then I look at my counter and see the bag. She catches me staring at something then looks over. She gets up off the bed and stares at me like she doesn't know me.  
"What is that?" She asks.  
"Emily, what happened?" She cries.  
She sits at the end of my bed and I watch her as she covers her face and cries into her hands.  
"I'm sorry" I say quietly. "It made it hurt less. It always made it hurt less" I tell her.  
I'm completely broken all over again.  
"We need to get you help" Alison says holding my hand.  
"No, you're my saviour" I tell her.  
"I won't do it anymore, I have my life back. I can stop, I stopped before the hard way, I can stop the easy way now" I tell her.  
"The hard way?"  
"Rehab thing" I say, not wanting to get into it.  
"I could tell you everything Alison but I don't think you want to know" I whisper.  
"I do, I need to" she whispers back.  
"Who's the guy?" She asks.  
"His name is Ricky, he's really sweet. I live with him and two other boys. Shane and Brock, but we can leave now. Oh, we have a cat too" I tell her, smiling at the end.  
"He didn't seem nice" Alison grumbles.  
I get up out of my bed and throw a sweater on over my shirt. I would change, but Alison is here and I don't want to make it awkward. She opens the door, but I go in front of her. I stand at the door for a minute trying to think of what to do or what will happen once we get downstairs.  
"Emily?" She asks kicking me back into life.  
I grab her hand and walk down the stairs. All the boys are in the kitchen eating cereal.  
"Hey, I'm gonna go for a walk" I tell them.  
"With your girlfriend?" Ricky says, not grinning.  
I pause, and see Shane and Brock look up. They seem to tense up by the way Ricky spoke.  
"She's not my girlfriend" I tell them all. "She's my friend"  
"Right cause friends hold hands. Carmen doesn't stay at this house with Brock so neither can she" Ricky tells me.  
"Okay?" I say.  
We walk to the front door and I see Ace.  
"Hey baby" I say picking him up. "Wanna go for a walk?"  
We get outside and Alison gently touches my shoulder.  
"Who do you live with?" She asks me.  
"I told you" I say.  
"Why are they so mean?"  
"I think Ricky likes me" I say, wanting to cry.  
"I think so" Alison says.  
"I don't know what to do" I tell her.  
"Leave them and live with me" she says stopping.  
I motion for her to follow me to the park. I sit on the grass and wait for her to sit down.  
"I can't leave" I say staring at the grass. "I work for them. We sell drugs"  
"Emily, are you kidding me?" She says laughing crazily.  
"Well I have over one hundred thousand dollars so" I tell her.  
"Emily, you're just like Jason" she spits.  
She gets up and starts walking away. I start screaming out after her and she stops walking.  
"You left me that day in the hospital, I got out of my bed and it nearly fucking killed me. I didn't talk to anyone for weeks. I was failing all my classes. I ran into Travis from school. He told me that drugs helped him get over a girl that broke his heart. I was broken, I didn't care what happened to me. I hated my life so I took them. I got expelled from school, my parents kicked my out of my house. I lived with Travis, till he tried to hit on me. I've done cocaine, mushrooms, heroine, LSD, and ecstasy. They helped me forget how much I hated my life. I hung out with your brother one day and I found a razor. I cut myself in your bathroom and I'm sorry. My wrists are scared. I couldn't take it anymore, I told Aria everything and her mom got me help. I was in a rehab program for months. I got out and just last month I ran into Travis and started doing it all over again. Then I ran into the boys and I started making and selling drugs with them, and fucking people, drinking till I puke, stealing things and money, and getting high to forget how much I want to die all because my heart broke the day you left"  
"I love you Alison, but please don't hate me for the ways I tried to kill my sadness and feel alive. I fucked up, I know I fucked up. It's not your fault, but my heart broke because I'm in love with you. It's been a year, I couldn't live without you so drugs became my life. It's stupid I know and I'm sorry"  
She turned back around and started to walk towards me. She sat down right beside me and picked up my arm, waking up Ace from his sleep in my lap. She picks up my other arm and sees my scars. I feel her trace her hand over them and her tears drop down on my arm, it makes me cry too. She puts her head down to my arm and kisses my scars. I flinch when she puts her lips on my skin. I flinch every single time she kisses my scars. I place my hand on her cheek and she looks up at me.  
"Aren't you going to have withdrawals?" She asks.  
"I've only been doing cocaine lately and I can get over it. It's not as bad as other drugs" I tell her quietly.  
"Emily, you have to stop selling and go back to school. It's summer now, you can take the classes you missed over summer then we can finish off grade 12 and go to college together"  
"College? What the fuck? I don't want to go to college" I spit, letting my hands fall on Ace.  
"Yeah well one hundred thousand dollars isn't a lot of money when you think about it. You need to go to college"  
"No, I like making easy money" I tell her. "I'm not going to stop"  
"You won't stop? Don't you want your life to go back to the way it is? Don't you want to be happy again? Be happy with your friends Emily, be happy with me. You need to stop, it's dangerous" she pleads.  
Her brother seems to be doing just fine but I don't dare speak that out loud. The truth is I don't want to stop.  
"I don't want to stop. I'm happy with you here and I'm happy with making a lot of money" I say looking at her.  
"Yeah okay, think that over Emily. Why don't you just go back to your house right now with a boy who's in love with you and continue to fuck up your life. You know where to find me when you realize what a big fucking idiot you are" Alison says storming off.  
"Fuck you!" I shout out in anger.  
Fuck her, I lived without her for a full year, I can continue to live without her. I don't need her, I have what I need at home. I'm living the life, I have money, drugs, and girls. What more could I ask for?  
_Love. You have nothing without love._  
"Fuck you brain" I say out loud.  
Wait, that wasn't my brain it was probably my heart.  
_You may feel like you're living the life because it's a party right now, you're drinking so much, you're doing drugs because you only live once right? And you're hooking up with so many girls but one day you're going to wake up and realize just how lonely and miserable you really are. Life isn't about sex, drugs, and parties. Life is about waking up at four in the morning, getting coffee and going on an adventure and forgetting about all the worries in the world with your friend by your side or the one you love. Life is about saving up money to go on trips, to create bucket lists, and to find ways to have fun without spending so much money. Life is about loving, laughing, and spending time with people who would never hurt you. Life is so much more than drugs and parties._  
I have to stop. I don't care how much money I could have in the whole entire world because without Alison, I'm nothing. I get up and walk quickly back to the house.  
"Good, you're alone" Ricky says as I enter.  
I walk upstairs and start putting as much clothes as I can into my backpack.  
"What are you doing?" I hear someone from behind me say.  
I whip my body around and see Ricky standing in front of my doorway.  
"Who is she Emily? Who is she? And why the fuck does she have such a hold over you?" Ricky yells.  
He punches my door, nearly putting a hole in it.  
"Fuck!" He yells out.  
I back up and try to keep my cool.  
"Ricky, I lost her. We were best friends for years and then she left me, but she's back now. I just missed her and I was going to go sleep over with her for a couple days" I tell him calmly.  
"No, you can't leave. We're going to be selling in a couple days. The LSD and some weed. I need you to stay" Ricky yells, and ends off talking in a whisper.  
"Okay" I say.  
"So unpack your clothes" he fidgets, pointing to my bag.  
I slowly start to take everything out and he rushes to my side. He throws everything out of my bag on to my bed in frustration.  
"Don't leave me Emily" he says putting his body right near mine.  
I feel his mouth on the top of my head and he wraps his hand around my waist. He grabs my chin and tilts my head up. I try not to look disgusted and try backing away but he's strong. He kisses me on the lips. I quickly put my hand on his chest, attempting to push him off me but he grabs my hand and puts it on the crest of his jeans. Oh my god, I automatically jump away.  
"Emily?" He says.  
I stall, trying to think of what to say. He looks down at his jeans and starts taking off his belt.  
"Uhm, remember it has to be the perfect time. When we're both ready" I say quickly, too quick.  
"Why aren't you ready?" He asks, taking his hand off his belt.  
I stall again.  
"I have my period" I lie. "I got it last night"  
"Oh, okay" he says.  
He looks around my room and picks up the bag from my dresser, he leaves, shutting my door. Oh my god, he's crazy. I start packing my bag again and throw it into my closet. Fuck! I wish I had a fucking phone. I have to keep it cool though, I don't know what will happen. He has guns and knives. I have to come up with a plan. I go back downstairs and look in the cubby. Good, there's lots of bags.  
"Ricky?" I call out.  
No answer. I quickly take two bags and race up the stairs and throw them into my closet. I go back downstairs like nothing happens and into the backyard. They're all sitting outside drinking a beer.  
"It's morning" I state.  
"So?" Brock says.  
"Doesn't matter what time it is. Do what you want to do" Ricky grins at me.  
"It's Victoria's day. Shane's gonna run to the store and grab fireworks. A few people are coming over. You can invite your friends too, even the one friend" Ricky tells me.  
He gets up and looks at me cautiously, it looks like he wants to say something else but he doesn't. Instead he just nods at Shane and he's off to the store. Ricky tosses me his phone and I go through his texts, trying to find Ali's number. I click on the one that says Alison, but then remember he doesn't know her name. He just has a brief conversation with her, I wish he was into her instead of me.  
I click on a text with no number saved.  
"Ali?" I text.  
She reads it but doesn't reply.  
"Please I'm sorry. I need you to come back over. Can you please? It's important but I can't talk about it on HIS phone" I tell her.  
"Okay" is her response.  
I delete the message I sent her above, and figure I should just delete the whole conversation so I do. I put his phone on the table and he grabs my hand.  
"I should have told you how I felt about you sooner" he says looking at me.  
I look at Brock, he shrugs and takes a drink of his beer.  
"How do you feel about me?" I ask.  
"I'm in love with you Emily" he says.  
I feel my eyes bulge, and my muscles tense up. Will he get mad if I don't say anything back? How could he be in love with me when he doesn't even know me?  
"Ricky, you know I like girls" I say quietly.  
"I know and that's okay. You can play around, but it's me who you're meant to be with and you'll see that very soon. We're soul mates Em, I can feel it here" he says grabbing my hand and putting it on his chest.  
I hear a knock on the door and I turn away quickly to answer it. As I'm leaving I hear Ricky scream "shut up!"  
It's Alison, my Alison.  
"I never got home, I was still walking when you texted me" she says when I open the door.  
I step outside and she takes a step back, not realizing that there's footsteps right there. She's about to fall but I put one arm around her back and use my other hand to pull her up. Her cheeks warm up and I can see her forming a smile.  
Other people start showing up by the time we go to sit outside on the grass.  
"Just go right in, Ricky's in the back" I tell them.  
"Alison, I'm sorry and I choose you. I'll go to summer school if I can and I can't go back to school but I can find another school to go too, and then maybe I'll go to college" I tell her.  
"But Alison, Ricky's crazy. He won't let me leave. He saw me packing my bags and then he came up to me and started kissing me. Apparently we kissed before when I was high but I don't remember and he's kissed me before in the heat of the moment, but I don't like him. I like you and he scares me. He said he's in love with me, and he's dangerous" I tell Alison.  
I feel my eyes looking everywhere but her face. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. She grabs my hands and I jump.  
"Emily it's okay, we'll leave. Once he's drunk or high, we'll get your stuff and then leave. I promise, I won't let him touch you"  
"He's already drinking" I tell her.  
I hear Shane's truck coming so I quickly pull myself and Alison up off the grass and go inside.  
"Hey blondie" Ricky says from the kitchen.  
Alison doesn't say anything. Ricky looks at her then goes into the fridge and pulls out three beers.  
"You're either shy or you're just a fucking bitch huh?" Ricky says coming towards us.  
He throws me a beer and puts the other one right in Alison's hand.  
"Hey" Alison finally says.  
"So how do you two know each other? Long lost friends?" Ricky laughs.  
"We've been friends since the fourth grade" Alison says.  
"And do you like girls too?" Ricky asks, losing his smile.  
I quickly put my beer in my other hand, raising my hand up to my mouth and hitting Alison hard, hoping she'll get the message.  
"No, I have a boyfriend" she says.  
"Cool. You need me to open that beer for you?" he asks Alison.  
Alison pops open the can of beer and takes a small sip. He looks at her for another minute before walking away to his guy friends. I feel someone put their hands on my back, I turn around and see Shane.  
"Hey, I got some pretty rad fireworks" he says smiling.  
I give him a smile and my beer. I take the one from Alison's hand and drink it. Why not, it'll be my last beer from this place. Alison gives me a cold look.  
"It's okay, if I can handle snorting lines of coke I can handle one beer" I joke, but she didn't find it funny.  
A few more people walk in through the door and go into the backyard. I try to get away but Ricky sees me, so I advance to go outside with Alison at my side.  
Ricky whispers something in Brock's ear and next thing I know he's right in our faces.  
"Hm, you got a boyfriend?" He asks looking at Alison.  
She nods her head.  
"Where is he?" He asks laughing.  
He's wearing his baseball sleeve, the same one he wore when I first met him. Actually he's wearing the same jeans too. He has a SnapBack on, and the buttons are open, revealing his abs.  
"Not here" Alison says sarcastically.  
"Well, neither is my girlfriend" he says.  
As soon as he says it, I push him with both my hands in the chest sending him flying away. I catch Ricky's eye in this scene and I know right away what just happened. He was testing us, and I failed.  
"Em" Ricky says calmly.  
He walks towards me, and I do everything I can to try and keep my cool. I grab Alison's hand, not giving a fuck anymore. I need to protect her more than I need to protect myself. He looks down at our hands then smiles coldly. Brock walks up beside him and I feel like crying.  
"We're all friends here" he says.  
"Brock likes Alison. Is that a problem?" Ricky says looking at both of us.  
"Yeah it is" I tell him.  
"You fingered my girlfriend, so I'll finger yours now" Brock laughs.  
He picks up Alison and starts walking away. I try to go after them but Ricky has my arm held still.  
"Just let them be" he says.  
Fuck that. I bring my leg up to Ricky's groan, and smash it up as hard as I can. He falls to the ground and all his friends laugh. I quickly run into the house after Brock and Alison. They're right in the kitchen, and I can't help but think that this is not happening again. No way in fucking hell. I grab a pan from the stove and whack it over the side of Brock's head.  
"I always fucking hated him" I say with venom in my voice.  
Alison throws herself at me and I embrace her in a quick hug.  
"Emily! You bitch!" He screams.  
Alison and I are running upstairs into my room. I go into my closet and start throwing all my clothes into the bag and she does the same. I get all my money out of my dresser and put it in my bag.  
"Okay" I say.  
"Everything's packed"  
Alison flings the bag with all the money on her shoulders, and I put one over mine and grab the other too. I'm just about to go the door when it flies open, making me lose my footing and fall to the ground. I quickly get up when I see who it is and what's in his hand.  
"Ricky no" I plead.  
"I love you and I just don't understand why you're trying to get away from me. I can't let you leave me Emily" he cries.  
"You're crazy" I hear Alison say under her breath.  
I place myself in front of Alison and feel her hand grip around my bicep. Ricky has a gun, I don't want to die.  
"Ricky, just put the fucking gun down" I tell him.  
"Why?" He asks.  
"Uhm. So you don't shoot the person you love?" I say.  
"I'm not going to shoot you" he spits.  
"You're not going to shoot her either Ricky" I say quickly.  
"She's coming in between us" he cries.  
"She'll leave okay? She'll leave" I tell him.  
"Emily what are you doing?" I hear her whisper.  
"I'll get out soon, trust me" I tell her so quietly I barely even hear myself.  
"Keep the bag on" I whisper.  
"Will you let her go Ricky?" I ask him.  
"Yeah, she has to go" he says flinging the gun towards us.  
"Okay, I'm going to walk her out okay?" I tell him.  
"I'm coming with you" he says.  
We go in front of him and he's too busy being crazy to realize the bags. We walk normally down the stairs and Alison opens the door. She doesn't look back at me so I quickly throw the two bags at her before Ricky comes to the door. It nearly makes her fall and then she looks back.  
"I love you" I mouth.  
I see her walk back to me but I shoo her off with my hands. She picks up the bags and runs away.  
"She's gone Ricky" I tell him.  
"Good, now we can party" he says, returning back to himself.  
He sure knows how to mask himself. He's fucking crazy. I feel him swing his arm over my shoulders and we walk into the backyard.  
"Brock, get us a Palm Bay" Ricky says.  
He mumbles something but proceeds into the kitchen. A minute later he comes back out with the drinks and hands them to us.  
"I want to take you somewhere nice Emily" Ricky says.  
"Oh yeah? Where?" I ask.  
"Where would you like to go?" He asks smiling.  
If I could get him to take me somewhere like a movie or dinner than I can sneak out, I can get away.  
"Dinne- a movie" I say.  
"What? Dinner and a movie?"  
"No, just a movie" I tell him.  
He gives me a nod then kisses me on the forehead, I try not to gag.  
Ricky comes back with a girl by his side and introduces me to her. She's really skinny and faded, her names Shay.  
"Do you think Em is pretty Shay?" Ricky slurs.  
She looks at me and smiles, I don't return the smile, instead I pull Ricky by the arm and drag him away.  
"What are you doing?" I ask him.  
"You like fucking girls don't you?" He says like he doesn't know.  
"I don't understand you" I say in disbelief.  
"I just don't want you dating anyone. I don't care if you have sex with other people, as long as it's girls" he says.  
I walk away from him, scared that I might say something that will cause him to wreak chaos. I can't stand boys who thinks it's okay for their girlfriend to have sex with another girl. It's all fun and games till your girlfriend realizes how shitty you are in bed then becomes a lesbian. I smile at that thought and take a swig of my drink. Maybe if Ricky gets hammered enough by the end of today I can just leave without him knowing. He doesn't know where Alison lives. I go into the fridge and take out a beer. I feel someone creep on me and I'm not surprised to find out that it's Ricky.  
"Here" I say handing him the beer.  
"Thank you princess" he says.  
"You know, it's too bad you're on that thing right now"  
"What?" I ask.  
"Your period?" He says, looking at me more intense.  
"Oh yeah, I know. It sucks" I mumble.  
"But you know, Shane was looking in the bathrooms and he didn't find any pads" he says coming closer to me.  
What? Why the fuck would Shane be looking through the garbage? Oh my god, Ricky really is crazy.  
"I wear pads" I tell him, backing away from him.  
"No no" Ricky laughs "he didn't find any of those either. In any of the bathrooms"  
"Ricky I'm not ready" I tell him.  
I can feel myself starting to cry.  
"Hey, hey it's okay I'll go slow on you at first. Emily you'll love it mm, you'll love it"  
"Ricky can't we wait till tomorrow night? After our date? I promise. It'll be more special that way" I say quickly.  
He stops walking towards me and grins.  
"Yeah okay. That sounds good, I'll plan something for us. I can't wait now" he cheers.  
"I can't wait either" I say in fear.

I didn't manage to get away today. I'm in my bed, trying to sleep. Just like I was trying to leave earlier, but Brock was watching me like a hawk. I knew it would be trouble if I opened the front door. I keep hearing footsteps outside my door. It's like they're keeping an eye on me, I can't leave. I hear the door creak open and I shut my eyes tight. Footsteps approach and I feel someone watching over me. I try to think of other things. I think about puppies, and swimming in the ocean. I think about Alison, her long blonde her and her soft blue eyes. I think about growing old with her, having a puppy with her. I think about our future, will have kids and get married. She's beautiful, she keeps me sane. The thought of her puts me to sleep and I don't wake up till the warm sunlight peeks in through the blinds and the covers start getting hot on me. I wake up and stretch. I guess I should take a shower, not for Ricky, but for Alison and her parents.  
"Mind if I join you?" Ricky asks.  
He's not wearing a shirt, he's in his boxers, he's pretty muscular too, just like Brock but more tan.  
"Uhm what? Yes? I have to go to the bathroom" I tell him opening the door.  
"Oh, I need to take a shower" he says smiling.  
It's funny, he doesn't really look like a fucking nut case when he acts normal.  
"I'll use the washroom downstairs" I tell him, quickly going downstairs.  
I run right past the living room, and see Ricky's phone on the armchair. I quickly grab it and type in Alison's number. I can't believe I still know it off by heart.  
"ALISON, it's Emily. I'm going to the movie theatre tonight? I don't know what time actually wait" I type and hit send.  
I go on to the Internet and look at movies playing tonight. There's one that starts at six fifth teen.  
"At six thirty. I'm going to leave at seven and please if you can be there to pick me up. Stand outside the doors okay? If you're not there by seven then I'll just make a run for it to your house. Bye and DON'T reply to this message" I hit send and delete the conversation.  
I jump out the shower within ten minutes. It feels good to be so refreshed. As soon as I put the towel around my body Ricky walks in.  
"I'm sorry" he grins.  
"It's okay" I say walking past him.  
I roll my eyes the minute I pass him.  
"You smell so good" he says coming up behind me.  
He took a shower too, used Old Spice body wash.  
"You smell good too" I tell him.  
I feel him wrap his arms around me from behind and the towel almost drops.  
I say the first thing I can come up with. "Uhm Ricky, you're spoiling it for later?"  
"Oh you're right" he says backing off.  
"Go get dressed you dirty slut" he jeers.  
I don't even bother to call him out on that. Instead I just walk upstairs and can't help but wonder why I had to get involved with such a fucked up boy. Ricky isn't in love with me, he just wants to fuck me.  
No, he's crazy. He's obsessed with you and he won't stop till he gets you.  
I put my hands to my head and squeeze.  
"Stop!" I yell.  
I hear Ace meow and I feel like crying for almost leaving him behind.  
"Oh Ace" I say picking him up. "You're coming too don't worry, I promise"  
Fuck, how am I going to get the cat out of the house?  
I walk downstairs with the cat in my hand.  
"Fucking Shane, the cat has no more food" I say.  
Shane's eating his cereal and looks up at me, letting the food in his mouth drop back into his bowl.  
"Shane, what the fuck" Ricky says.  
"I'll go get some from the corner store" I say.  
"No, Shane will" Ricky says.  
"Oh please, I'm not going anywhere Ricky. I promise. I'm a girl who keeps promises, I'll walk there okay?" I plead.  
"Hm, Shane go with her" Ricky says.  
"But I'm eating my breakfast" Shane pouts.  
"Ricky, I'll be back in five minutes, seriously. You can trust me" I tell him.  
"Fine, but if you don't come back, I'll find you" he says.  
I walk out of the house than start running past the bushes. The pet store is ten minutes away, I can get there quick. I run faster, losing my breath. By the time I get there, I see it's the same girl working. What was her name and did I have sex with her?  
"Leave" she growls.  
"Oh no please I need your help" I plead. "You need to watch Ace for a little bit please? Please, please"  
"What's in it for me?" She asks.  
"Fifty dollars?" I suggest.  
"Why don't you go down on me instead" she teases sarcastically.  
"I was drunk" I mumbled.  
She looks at me with disappointment.  
"Danielle, I'm sorry" I say remembering her name. "I fell in love with a girl who left me, she broke my heart and I got into dangerous things and I'm in a dangerous spot right now. Please just watch the kitty. Please"  
"My shift ends at five" she says.  
I go to the desk and grab the pen sitting there.  
"Right your number on my hand, I'll come pick him up around 7 or 8" I tell her.  
She writes her number and I hug her a thanks.  
I run out of the store and I see a bike in front of a Dunkin Donuts. I don't want to steal anymore but I have no choice and I don't want my crazy stalker coming after me. I hop on the bike and pedal away. I get back to the house within five minutes and drop the bike a street away.  
"Where's the cat?" Ricky asks as I walk in.  
Oh shit, I didn't think of an answer for that one.  
"They stole it" I say out loud.  
"Who?" Ricky asks.  
"Well I was at the store Ricky and apparently these two old people were the owners of this cat! So I guess it wasn't even Brandon's. They took him right out of my hand Ricky" I say, trying to cry.  
I'm not crying, but then I think of Ricky kissing me and it makes me cry.  
"Hey, it's okay will get him back soon huh? Tomorrow okay?" Ricky says hugging me.  
"Okay" I sniffle.  
"Oh yeah Ricky. The movie I want to see starts at six fifteen" I tell him.  
"It's already three thirty" he says.  
"What? Really?" I ask.  
Actually it's believable, I sleep in till noon pretty much everyday.  
"What kind of movie is it?" He asks.  
"Some romantic movie" I say, not really knowing what it was.  
"Ew" he spits.  
I scold him from within. Fuck you Ricky, you stupid asshole. There's no way in hell I'd ever be your girlfriend, even if I was straight.  
"Guess we need to leave by 5ish, to get there and get the popcorn and all" he says yawning.  
"Yes" I say.  
He goes into his pocket and pulls out a smoke.  
"Hey can I have one?" I ask him.  
"You don't smoke though" he points out.  
He's right, I don't, but the last taste in my mouth was him and smoking will burn him right out of my mouth. I walk over to him and grab the cigarette from his hand and walk outside. It's so nice out, nice hot summer air. I love it, I love summer. Everything is always better and more reassuring when it's summer. I don't know why, but you feel happier when it's summer, maybe it's the heat, maybe it's the sun, or maybe it's just being able to go outside and enjoy yourself.  
"You know, that wasn't really nice to take my smoke" Ricky says from behind me.  
I don't brother to look at him.  
"I'm sorry, I was craving it" I lie.  
"I forgive you"  
I inhale the smoke deeply, thinking about Ricky and how many times his lips have been on mine. I start coughing so badly I feel like I'm dying, or at least choking. Ricky puts his hand on my back and I see him talking but I don't hear him, I don't want to hear him. He slaps my back hard and hands me a drink from yesterday on the table.  
"Just drink it" he growls.  
I put it to my mouth and take a sip, surprisingly it helps a little bit. The drink is disgusting, the last sip of a stale beer, but it helps. I take another drink and stop coughing.  
"Jesus Emily, no cigarettes for you huh?" He laughs.  
I want to tell him to go fuck himself but I stay quiet and just let out a little laugh myself.

"Do you want anything else besides popcorn?" Ricky asks me as we wait in line.  
I'm looking at a couple in front of us, it's two girls and they look so happy. Ricky catches me smiling at them and he sneers.  
"What do you want Emily" he asks me again.  
"Oh, popcorn sounds good" I say.  
"Okay, I'm getting extra butter" he tells me.  
After we get our popcorn we sit in the movie theatre and watch the previews, well I watch the previews. Ricky's on his phone. I look over and see that he's texting Alison. I can't help but wonder if they have something going on or not.  
"You like her?" I ask him.  
He looks up and shuts off his phone.  
"What no baby, I like you and only you. Alison is just like obsessed with me or something. She always sends me nudes when I keep telling her to fuck off. I might just block her numb-"  
The movie starts to play so I lose interest in what he's saying, never really caring enough in the beginning.  
"Shhh the movie is starting" I tell him.  
I hear him mumble something under his breath and I let out a smile.

Thirty minutes into the movie I realize how boring this movie is but grateful that there's so many other people in here. I don't know why I'm grateful, it just makes me feel more safe.  
"Ricky, I have to go pee, I'll be right back. Save my spot" I whisper.  
"Who's going to take it?" He asks, not looking away from the movie.  
I stare at him for a second, wondering if he actually likes this boring movie. I walk out of the theatre and walk even quicker the minute I step through the doors. Oh my god I'm free! I did it and it was easy! I run out the front doors and search for Alison, there's a bunch of people out here a movie must of just finished.  
"Hey" I hear someone say.  
I launch around to see Alison. I capture her eyes right away and feel myself smile.  
"Let's go" I rush.  
She takes my hand and leads me to her car.  
"So you do have your license?" I ask her.  
"Yeah, I got it within winter. My parents don't let me drive much though, my dad doesn't trust me anymore"  
"It's not that he doesn't trust you Alison, it's that he doesn't trust other people around you and I don't blame him" I mumble.  
"You don't blame him?" Alison says taking her eyes off the road.  
"First there was him and now there's Ricky, Alison. You got a gun pulled to you and I'm so sorry" I tell her.  
I can feel myself start to cry, I pinch myself in the arm really hard until I feel Alison put her hand on me.  
"Emily it's okay. You risked your whole life for me. He didn't shoot and hey now I can go through life saying I'm actually a good girl, never done anything but had a gun pulled on me! Not many people can say that you know" Alison says.  
I give out a weak laugh and look at her. God, I wonder how someone can be that beautiful and perfect.  
"Now what?" I ask.  
"Summer school for my baby" she snickers.  
"Great" I mumble.  
That's going to take a long process. First I have to find a school that will accept me then maybe be lucky enough to get a recovery credit for English and math. I'll have to do all the other credits online.  
"Will both go to Mainland okay? It's going to be a good school as long as we're together, but we have to get at least you in like right now" Alison says.  
"Will go tomorrow I guess" I mumble once again.  
"That's a good girl" she says shaking my head.  
"Both hands on the steering wheel please" I tease.  
I take Alison's phone from the cup holder and text Danielle.  
"Hey it's Emily. Where's kitty?" I send.  
"My house, I can meet up with you at Dane street, is that okay?" She replies.  
"Yeah I'll be there real quick. Zero to one hundred" I reply.  
I realize where not far from that street at all and you have to turn right here to get on to it!  
"Alison! Turn!" I yell, scaring the shit out of her.  
She jumps out of her seat and puts her hand on her chest.  
"Jesus Christ Emily did you have to be so dramatic?" She asks turning.  
"Wait, why are we trying?"  
"To get Ace" I smile.  
We park on the side of the road and wait for Danielle.  
"Who has him?" Alison asks.  
"A girl I know" I say back.  
"Oh yeah? Who is she?" She asks.  
I look out the window and see her coming, I look at Alison then point and get out of the car. I hear the door shut on her side.  
"Ace, hi baby" I say taking him from Danielle's arms.  
"He missed his mommy" she says.  
"Thank you so much Danielle" I thank her.  
"Sure, who's this?" She asks looking at Alison.  
"My best friend, but hey we gotta go, thank you!" I say, leaving.  
We get back to Alison's house and before we enter she asks the question I didn't want to hear.  
"What do you think Ricky is going to do?" She asks.  
"I don't know, but there's no way he'll find us" I stop talking, remembering what he did to Brandon. Ricky might be a drug dealer but he's smart.  
"He has know way of knowing where you live" I say out loud to myself.  
"We're safe, I promise you. I'll protect you" I tell her, handing her Ace.  
She looks into my eyes and I see her smile. We're at her doorstep, it's the most cliche moment to kiss someone. I put my one hand on the side of her neck and the other hand on her waist and start to lean in towards her. The front door opens and Alison's mom comes outside, I back away as quick as I can, hoping she doesn't suspect anything.  
"Emily oh my god honey! Is that you? You look so different!" She beams.  
"Hello" I say smiling.  
She brings me in for a hug and I look at Alison behind her. She looks at me and bits her lip, flashing her eyes down then back up at me and smiling. Alison's mom lets go of me.  
"Your welcome to stay for as long as you want Emily!" She beams.  
"Thank you so much. I guess I'll stay forever then" I say looking at Alison. She smiles and I hear her mom let out a friendly laugh.  
"You may look different but you haven't changed at all" she says walking into her house.  
"Hey mom, would you believe me if I told you that I'm more strong than Emily now?" Alison asks.  
"No" she laughs. "And what is that little guy in your arms?"  
"It's Emily's cat. Can it stay in my room please mom, it's Emily's and she's paying for it" Alison pleads.  
"Only because it's so cute" she says laughing.  
It feels like home being here. I missed it so much, I missed the smell of always baked goods and I missed hearing the distant music playing in the background. We walk up the stairs and I put my hand on the rail, smiling at the thought of being here again. We enter her bedroom and it brings back a thousand memories. Hopefully we can create a thousand more different memories in here. I grin at that thought then look at Alison. She's so cute, I just want to get her anything she wants and spoil her because she's perfect.  
"I missed being here" I tell her.  
"And by the way, you're not stronger than me"  
"Oh really? I think I am" she laughs.  
"Prove it" I push.  
She comes up to me right in my face and grabs my arms. I try to let go but I can't and she spins me around. I push her backwards with my chest and then take my moment to grab her arms, and spin her back around. She lets out a giggle and I'm about to pin her down but then I feel her escape from my grip and she whips me back around so fast. She moves her hands from my arms and pushes me lightly onto her bed. She falls on top of me, and I think we're about to start kissing but then she rolls off of me.  
"Goodnight" she says sweetly.  
I mumble a swear word towards her under my breath and she hears it.  
"Do you need me to pin you back down?" She asks.  
I smile at the thought of that and then find myself digging my face into the back of her neck and wrapping my hands around her.  
"Goodnight" I whisper.


	18. Catch Up

*Alison's side*  
Everything that's been going on is crazy, I thought everything would've been perfect when I came back home. I was going to tell Emily how I really feel about her, we were going to go back to normal but this time with a lot more affection, we could've hung out with Spencer, Aria, and Hanna again. But, it sure wasn't what I bargained for when I came back. At least I have Emily though, I have her and that's all I want. That's all I could ever ask for. I mean I could ask for pizza and garlic bread right now and a couple beers but my parents already said no. Instead for dinner, we ate chicken and rice. I still haven't seen Jason, mom said he went out of town with a couple friends and that doesn't surprise me.  
"We should go out" I hear Emily say.  
I smile at that thought and look at her.  
"The beach?" She asks.  
Oh, she meant go somewhere. My smile fades but then springs back up. I haven't been to the beach in forever.  
"Yeah okay, let's go" I tell her.  
Emily's been in summer school for English and math. She absolutely hates it, it's only been the first two days and both days she's came home looking like she'd rather just drop out again. I don't blame her, she's there at 7:30 in the morning till 3 and only has an hour break. She's lucky today's Saturday.  
We walk to the beach, it's not that far and it's a good exercise. It's so nice to live right near a beach, it always gives you something to do and who could ever get sick of the beach? It feels so good to be home. I lock my hand into Emily's hand and feel a vibe of warmth and love.  
"Maybe later we can catch up with the squad" Emily says.  
"Yeah, I'd like that" I tell her.  
We still haven't kissed. I think we're both too scared to do it, I mean even holding hands sets my whole soul on fire. I'm afraid if I kiss her, I won't want to stop.  
"And here we are" Emily says as we fling our bare feet on the sand.  
I don't know why we waited all day to come to the beach, but I guess it's nice right now. Everyone's leaving, couples are walking along the beach and it won't be long till the sun sets.  
"You know, I can't help but think every time I come to the beach that I want to get married here. So when we get married are you cool with doing it on the beach?" Emily asks me.  
I let out a laugh and lay my head into her shoulder.  
"I'm okay with getting married anywhere as long as it's with you" I tell her.  
She smiles at me and I smile back. I'm sure we're both thinking the same thing as we walk closer to the ocean. _So why aren't we dating yet?_ I'm just waiting for the perfect timing to ask her, or the perfect way. Maybe I'll do it on the beach right here, right now. So then we can say we started dating on the beach and then in a few years we can say we got married on the beach! We walk along the shore line holding hands, it's such a beautiful evening and the water feels so nice on my feet, sinking into the sand with each step.  
"We've never done this before" Emily says.  
"I know, we should have" I tell her. "We should have done a lot more when I was still here" I say quietly.  
I don't realize how far we walked until it's getting darker and the sun is going down. We plop down on the sand above the shoreline and watch the sun set.  
"I never knew just how much I loved you until you were gone" Emily says lowly.  
"I love you" I say facing her.  
She returns my gaze and I feel her looking into my eyes then she looks at my lips and licks hers. We both lean in at the same time and next thing I know she puts her hand on my neck and we stare at each other right before we kiss. I bring my lips on hers and it's like they were meant to be there. She tastes like sweet cherries and the minute my lips depart from hers there back on them not even a second later. She tilts her head to the side more and pulls me in closer. I don't realize that we've started making out till the pace changed from slow and long to fast and rough. I need a breather so I stop kissing her and feel my heart bouncing. I can't bring myself to look at her but I smile and then let out a little laugh. She giggles too and then I feel her put her head on my shoulder.  
"Emily, I don't want anyone else. I mean, it's just… I see all these people online and it's like wow, that's a lot of pretty girls and I scroll through Instagram and I could like all these pictures and comment on them, letting them know I'm down and I could just talk and get with anyone through social media but I don't and I don't even think about doing that because I have you, and I only want you. I don't care about anyone else, as long as I have you then I'm set. You are the prettiest girl in the whole world to me and I can't even think of another girl. It's always going to be you, I love you" I tell her all in one big cloud of thought.  
"Come here" she says opening up her arms.  
I go to sit right in front of her and she gives me a big hug when I lean in.  
"You know I feel the same way. I'm crazy about you" she says kissing my head.  
I let go of her and turn around, sitting in her lap. This is so peaceful and relaxing, cuddling with the one I love and watching the sunset go down. I hear her start to talk and I turn around to face her.  
"I don't know if it's just me Ali, but this generation is so fucked up now. People don't commit anymore. People don't want to date anymore, they just want to hook up, and people are too scared to say how they really feel out loud, they'd rather do it through text, it's fucked up and sure maybe hooking up is great and maybe we're only doing it because we're so young and that's what teenagers do, but at the end of the day it comes down to real true love and none of us have it. I would rather wake up to the same face every morning than a bunch of different faces and people I don't even know. I don't want to be with anyone but you. I have true love with you. People can find love at any age, people can find their soul mates at any age, it doesn't matter if you're 30 or 17 because I find mine and she's right in front of me"  
"Baby" I say then lean in and give her a quick kiss.  
"So Alison, I got a question. Will you beautiful breath taking girl, will you be my girlfriend?" She asks, her voice fading.  
I see her cheeks warm up, and she's sucking on her lip.  
"Of course I will, girlfriend" I say, smiling and giggling on the last word.  
She kisses my nose and I fall back down, resting on her chest.  
"We should sleep on the beach one day. That would be so nice" I say out loud.  
"Yeah, fuck, we could've brought a blanket and pillow" Emily says.  
We could always go back and grab them. I feel my phone vibrate. A notification from Twitter. Hanna mentioned me in a tweet. I pull out my phone and look at it.  
"Is it true that the one and only AlisonD is back in town?! Woo hit me up!"  
Emily scuffs and I laugh.  
"Should we hang out with them?" I ask.  
"Yes, you haven't seen your friends in so long. I have an idea!" She says jumping up on the last sentence.  
I fall off her chest and our cute little moment is gone. I throw sand at her for bumping me off her.  
"Let's all sleep at the beach!" She smiles.  
"Aw damn now we can't have sex" I groan.  
I laugh right after I say it to let her know I was joking.  
"I'm not the type of gal to get sand in my vagina" she says.  
I try my best not to think about her vagina after she says _my vagina._ I bite my lips then continue to talk.  
"Right so let's go" I say getting up.  
I go into my phone contacts and call Hanna, she answers on the third ring.  
"Alison!" She says with her same cheerful sprung voice.  
"Hey Hanna! What're doing tonight?" I ask her.  
"Nothing, nothing. You?" She asks.  
I feel like she's looking at her nails right now as we talk.  
"We should hang out. The whole five of us again. Emily and I are thinking about sleeping on the beach tonight" I inform her.  
"Oh wow! I haven't seen Spencer, Aria, and Emily in so long, we all kind of drifted apart once you left. Especially Emily, she stopped showing up to school and started hanging out with that-" I cut her off.  
"Do you want to hang out Hanna?" I ask her.  
"Yeah okay! Will meet at the school in a half n hour?" She says.  
"Sounds good, bring a pillow. See you then!" I say excitedly.  
Now it's time to call Spencer than Aria.  
"Hey Aria, want to sleep on the beach tonight. Me, you, Emily, Hanna, and Spencer?" I ask.  
"Tonight?" She repeats.  
"Yes, bring a pillow" I tell her.  
"Okay, I'm not doing anything anyways. I'll bring some chips" she says.  
"Great! Meet us at the school in a half n hour okay?" I tell her.  
Now I call Spencer. It was hard to convince Spencer to come at first. She said she was so tired after her tennis match earlier today, she lost and was feeling down. But none less, I finally reminded her that we could all be one again and she gave in.

We all meet up at the school. Spencer looks the same, she's wearing her reading glasses and a plaid vest with black pants, with a pillow wrapped around her chest. Hanna is in a skirt and white tank top, she has sunglasses on her short blonde hair and a Kate Spade purse in her hand. I'm guessing she forgot her pillow. Aria is wearing all black and I didn't notice before, but she has a blue streak in her hair again. She has ketchup chips, a pillow, and a bottle of coke. I forget what I'm wearing so I look down. Blue jean short shorts and the Tiger Fair hoodie Emily gave me back then. Emily's wearing grey sweatpants, a hat and a v neck black t-shirt. She's holding my big blanket with another blanket underneath it from my bed and three pillows. She looks hot.  
"Squad!" Emily cheers.  
We all let out a laugh.  
"It still feels the same, this all feels normal" Hanna says smiling.  
We make our back to the beach, and as we pass a pizza joint I stop and get an idea.  
"We need pizza!" I shout.  
"Do any of you have any money? I have like five bucks on me and that's it" I tell them.  
"Yeah I have ten" Emily says.  
"Sorry, I didn't bring any money" Aria says lowly.  
Hanna looks in her purse and Spencer shakes her head.  
"I have a ten and a bunch of change!" She cheers.  
"Fuck yeah, pizza" Emily laughs.  
We go in and order a large pizza, with a 2L bottle of Coke and garlic bread. The total comes to $27.20. We were twenty cents short but the pizza guy let us have it. Probably because we were a bunch of girls.  
I try my best to not eat a slice on the way to the beach, it's hard and I'm hungry. I feel a hand brush against my butt and I look to see Emily at my side.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I was like walking with my hands out and then like it accidentally touched you and like I didn't mean to" she says really fast, looking down at the sidewalk.  
I let out a loud laugh and then wink at her when she looks up. I obviously don't care if she touches my butt. I give Aria the pizza box and then swing my arm around Emily, I kiss her cheek and she smiles. I love seeing her smile.  
We all walk on the beach together and decide to rest the blankets down near a hotel, then we dig into the pizza and I've never been so happy.  
"So are you two dating yet?" Aria says looking at me and Emily.  
Emily let's out a laugh and I tell her we are.  
"Wait what? Who's dating?" Hanna says.  
"Emily and Alison" Aria answers.  
"Wait what! Since when? What! You guys are lesbians? Since when!" Hanna freaks out.  
We all start laughing, but Hanna.  
"Hanna, it's always been so obvious that they like each other. Even Spencer knows with her face always covered behind books" Aria says.  
"Yeah, and they were literally just kissing on our walk to the beach" Spencer adds in.  
"What? No you guys didn't?" Hanna smiles. "I was talking to Spencer, I didn't see. Aw guys, kiss!"  
I feel my cheeks go all red then Hanna points it out and pushes Emily's back into me. We give each other a quick kiss and hear Hanna awing in the background. She has her hands clapped together and she's smiling.  
"Aw, I have lesbian friends who are dating" she says.  
"So have you guys had sex?" She asks.  
I take a bit out of my pizza and let Emily answer this one.  
"Um no" she says awkwardly.  
"Why? What even is it like how do you have sex without a penis?" She asks.  
"You have sex without a penis with lots of orgasms and cum" Emily says.  
"So you have had sex!" Hanna bounces.  
"No"  
"Oh" Hanna says lowly.  
We all think she's dropped that conversation but after a minute of silence she picks it back up.  
"So have you had sex with other people then?" She asks.  
"Hanna shut up" I tell her.  
"Have you had sex with someone?" Emily asks me.  
I don't want to answer because I don't know how she'll take it, but I don't want to lie so I tell her the truth.  
"Yeah with a girl but it meant nothing and I wished it was you the whole time" I don't realize what I said till I finished saying it.  
Aria and Hanna let out oou's and Spencer looks up from the book she's reading.  
"It's okay Ali" Emily says.  
"I've only been with one guy, well actually two and I haven't had an orgasm yet" Hanna confesses.  
"Yeah, that's because you're having sex with a guy" Emily says.  
We all laugh then go silent again.  
"I bet Spencer is a freak in the sheets" Hanna giggles.  
Spencer slowly lifts up her book, indicating she doesn't want to be apart of this discussion any longer.  
"So were the two of you doing that like long distance relationship thing? And Em where the fuck have you been?" Hanna asks.  
"No" I say.  
"I got kicked out of school" Emily confesses.  
"What! Why?"  
Emily looks at me, wondering if she should tell them or not. Aria already knows and so do I. Well, Aria doesn't know what type of job she had and that she started using again.  
"Um I got into drugs, like real bad so I got kicked out of school and my home and then I went to a program thing for a few months thanks to Aria" Emily says.  
Spencer puts down her book again.  
"Holy fuck! Really?" Hanna shouts.  
"Hanna, be quiet. We could get kicked off this beach if the cops come" Spencer informs her.  
"I'm sorry for not being around Emily. I love you, I'm sorry" Hanna says.  
"I'm sorry too Emmie" Spencer chips in.  
"We all love you" Aria says.  
"Okay guys, it's fine really. I mean, I got back out and then I got back into it and started selling drugs but then Alison came back and I'm fine. I'm just like any teenager really. You know? The teenagers that try all those drugs once. Expect I did it a few times, but I'm done and now I have a shit ton of money" Emily confesses, letting it all out expect for the part about Ricky.  
"Wow" Spencer says.  
"How much money?" Hanna asks, of course she asks.  
"I have like a hundred and seventy two grand" she says with pizza in her mouth.  
"Oh my god! I want to be a drug dealer!" Hanna shouts.  
Spencer hits her on the arm and we all look at her like she's the biggest idiot ever.  
"No you don't" Emily says quietly.  
"Why not? You didn't like getting that much money?" Hanna pushes.  
"Hanna, think of it this way. Drug dealer - if you get caught you're fucked for the rest of your life, the people you deal to could kill you, and you never know who you work with. They could be crazy or fucking obsessive. It's a dangerous job and I'm glad Ali saved me. Now can we talk about something else?"  
We all chitter chatter about grade eleven, and Emily holds me in her arms. It's so nice to be back, and it's such a nice night. What's better than spending the night on the beach with pizza and friends?  
"We're going to Mainland for grade 12" I hear Emily say.  
"Oh my god me too!" Aria shouts.  
"My mom switched me because of the stupid fucking principal"  
"Wow, I might as well go to Mainland too. There's a lot of cute boys there" Hanna says.  
"You know, the education there I heard is a lot better than our school" Spencer says.  
"Aw, the two of you should switch and then we can all go to the same school and finish off high school together" I say.  
"I'll look into it with my parents" Spencer says. "But I'm going to bed now it's like one in the morning.  
We all lay down and I cuddle up close to Emily, Emily pumps into Hanna by accident and it gets Hanna going all over again.  
"Please don't do anything" she says.  
"Oh my god, we won't" I mumble.  
"Actually" she says turning around and facing us. "I can't believe you guys haven't done anything"  
"Hanna! We literally just started dating, what are we going to do? Fuck the minute she just got back? You're making this so awkward" Emily mumbles.  
I put my hand on Emily's waist and it makes her jump.  
"Liars! She's trying to fuck you right now!" Hanna shouts.  
The three of us sit up.  
"Hanna oh my god! I was literally just resting my hand on her because I'm trying to sleep!" I explain.  
I hear Aria laughing and Spencer mumbling swear words.  
Hanna gets up and goes in the middle of Aria and Spencer.  
"You guys can do what you want now" she whispers.  
"Hanna!" I shout.  
"You know at this point, it just seems like Hanna actually wants to see you two have sex" Spencer says annoyed.  
We all laugh and then it goes quiet. Just as I feel myself drifting off, and Emily's breath, Hanna talks again.  
"Just for the record, I don't"  
"Goodnight Hanna" Emily groans.

"Holy fuck! What the fuck was that!" I hear someone shout.  
Emily jerks up, letting my head fall down hard on the blankets.  
"What?" She whispers quickly.  
"Aria, relax it was just a wave. We're near the beach" Spencer mumbles.  
"I think it was a whale or something" Hanna says.  
"You heard it too?" Aria says.  
"It was so loud!" Hanna says.  
I turn on my phone. It's 4 in the morning.  
"You guys are light sleepers" I say.  
"Well when it sounds like a fucking bomb, yeah" Aria says.

We all go back to bed and don't wake up till we hear distant voices on the beach. It's not even seven thirty. Why are there people on the beach already? It's older people, that explains it.  
"We should all hang out later. You know after I finish my sleep" Hanna says.  
"Yeah we will" Aria says.  
"I missed you guys" I say so happily I could cry.  
We all go in for a group hug and squeeze tight.


	19. Again

*Emily's side *  
"Hey lesbians! Let's go get some ice cream" Hanna says rounding the corner with Aria by her side.  
"Better yet, we're going to the cottage" Jason said stepping out the door.  
This is the first time I saw Jason since he chased me and gave me a bag. I stumble around on my feet and look at the ground.  
"The rents said you can bring your friends if you want, but we're leaving soon" he says walking to the car.  
He's coming my way so I step out of his way.  
"Hey Emily" he says smiling.  
Ali grabs my hand and tosses me into her. I feel her body on mine and it makes me shiver.  
"So you got her huh? So my sister likes the taste of pussy just like her older brother" he laughs.  
He looks at us for a moment without saying anything, Ali doesn't respond to what he said.  
"I can get used to that" he says.  
He comes walking towards us and opens his arms.  
"Oh please" Alison says.  
He walks up anyways and wraps his arm around us both, both our feet lift off from the floor.  
"Missed you Alison, I actually did but we won't talk about that, and it's good to see you Emily. You look better, not as strong but still better" he says.  
Why does everyone notice that I'm not as strong anymore?  
"Shit Ali, I don't know if my mom will let me go, I'll call hold on" Aria said.  
"I can't come, my new boyfriend, I guess both of you don't know about him, but he's taking me to a dinner and a concert on Friday and I can't bail. I'm sorry, I love your cottage so much and it sucks I can't come!" Hanna complains.  
"It's okay, we can always go another week or next summer" Ali says.  
"I think Spencer has that tennis ball tournament all week too" I say out loud.  
"Yeah" Aria says.  
"But I can come" I wink at Ali.  
"We'll have to hang out when you get back!" Hanna says leaving.  
"Yeah for sure, later guys" Ali says.

While we're in Alison's room packing, she confesses to me that this is the first time she's seen Jason since she's got back. I tell her how he always knew that there was something more between us by the way we acted with each other. To be honest, I'm not really sad at all that the girls can't come, this means it's just Ali and I and her family and I like the sound of that. The only thing is, we'll have to be sneaky sometimes, and that will be fun. Right now her door is open and her parents are upstairs packaging the last of their things. I spin Ali around her from suitcase, pull her in by putting my hand on her waist and kiss her deeply. The kiss was good, really good. We both go in for another one, the same exact one. A deep kiss, our mouths on each other's and our lips practically sucking each other's lips. I feel her tongue slip in my mouth, I move her shirt so my hands are touching her hip bones. It makes me kiss her again, more fast this time, I bite her lip and she tugs at the belt on my jeans. I quickly race my hand up her body and feel her boob. I grab it through the bra and squeeze it.  
"Fuck, I wanna fuck you" Alison says quickly, taking her lips off mine.  
I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out and I think I need to put on a new pair of underwear, I'm wet.  
"You two should shut your door" Jason says, standing right near her door. I take my hand out from under her shirt the minute I heard him say "you"  
"Jason!" Alison yells.  
"Alison, what's going on?" Ali's father says from his room.  
"Yeah, why don't you tell him?" Jason teases.  
Alison picks up whatever is in her reach and throws it at Jason, he puts his hands in front of him for defence. She threw a hair brush at him.  
Jason shuts her door and I throw my hand up and scratch the top of my head in embarrassment. Alison looks at me and chews on her lips, I quickly look down and blush. I let out a quick breath than continue packing. We're going for a week. Summer school can manage without me there for four days, we have the Friday off.  
"C'mon kitty" I say picking up Ace.

"Hey Ali" Jason whispers. We're in the car and about two hours away from their cottage. The three of us are crammed in the back seat, and it sucks that I can't touch Alison.  
"Do mom and dad know?" He whispers.  
Alison quickly punches him in the shoulder and he laughs.  
"Shut up Jason" she says out loud.  
A few minutes pass and Alison whispers do Jason.  
Ace has been on my lap the whole time, but hey finally jumps off of my lap and onto Alison's. I pet him.  
"Hey Jason, do mom and dad know how you really get your money?"  
I let out a little smile at that one and feel sort of ashamed.  
"I'll be living in a mansion one day with two Ferraris in my driveway and two Audi's in my garage" he says out loud, resting his head back on his seat.  
"Oh yeah?" His dad says looking back in the mirror "you better find a job that pays better than yours"  
"Oh don't worry dad. I got money and I'll get money. I'm gonna have a hot wife, dirt bikes, a sweet pool with a waterfall flowing into it and a hot tub right beside it. I'm going to have it all, I'll have my own boat too, my own jet ski, and maybe I'll open up my own garage" he says with his eyes closed.  
"I'll retire at your place" their mother says laughing.  
"What about you Ali? What's your future going to look like? Anything like your brothers?" Her dad laughs.  
"Better than his" she teases.  
"Yeah? How so?" Jason asks.  
"I'll be living somewhere here, I might not have a mansion but I'll have a beautiful home with a plasma screen tv hooked up to the wall in the basement, L-shaped white couches, a bar, and I'll have my own pool, hot tub, an ATV, probably a golf cart, I'll be out in the country growing my own fruit and vegetables, I'll have animals and I'll be driving a mustang to work everyday. A walk in closet with a bunch of clothes and shoes, I'll have a MacBook, an iPad, a room full of books, somewhere on my acreage, I'll build my own little cabin, have sand all around it, a little volleyball net and inside the cabin will be so cute and cozy. I'm going to have everything I ever wanted" she says.  
"I never knew you wanted to live out in the country" I mumble.  
"Well, as long as there's a mall close by" she says.  
We all laugh.  
"Ali, I don't think you're going to build your own cabin, you'll get someone else to do it" Jason says.  
"That's true" she says.  
"What about you Emily?" Her mom asks me.  
I pause.  
"All I want is a nice home, a few nice toys, a nice car and a loving family. Maybe having my own track in my backyard would be cool" I say.  
They laugh at the last part.  
"That can happen" Ali says to me.

We've stopped at McDonald's on the way, we're almost there. I haven't had McDonald's in forever, it sure does taste good, but of course it does, junk food will always taste better than healthy food.

"Jason, go get the boat in the water with your sister" Ali's dad says right when we get to the cottage.  
I love the drives up to the cottage. It's so exciting knowing you're going somewhere you love. It's amazing how you instantly get in a good mood on a road trip. Once we past all the trees and the never ending road to her cottage, we finally turned down onto her road. It'll be dark soon. I love their cottage, it's huge. I don't know how much it's worth, but it was probably around a million dollars if not more. The best part about it is, even though it's huge and has a basement, it still looks like a cottage. We walk inside and set our bags down in the entrance. I let go of Ace and he runs to the couches. I can see the living room from here, there's no walls in the front of the living room, just windows of a spectacular view. A beautiful blue lake. They have leather couches, and a big flat screen TV right in the middle of the room, with paintings and hangings of the lake and boats.  
"Let's go" Jason mumbles.  
Alison grabs my shirt and pulls me outside. We go into the shed their dad built and Jason turns on the ATVS. They have two blue Polaris, and two blue helmets to go along with the ATVS.  
"That's what I should get" I say out loud.  
"What?" Alison asks jumping onto the atv.  
They're both the same, so I guess it doesn't matter who rides which one.  
"A helmet" I say.  
"Oh yeah, you'll be fine" she says, putting on the helmet.  
Jason comes up from behind me and puts the other helmet over my head.  
"You can use mine, but don't damage it" he says.  
"Well if anything happens, it'll be because of your sisters driving" I tease.  
Alison starts the engine and backs up out of the shed. She puts it in drive and heads off. Jason shouts out after her.  
"Alison!"  
He catches up to us within a minute and skids his way in front of us. He gives Alison the finger from ahead. I bang Jason's helmet into Ali's helmet as she goes over a huge rock.  
"Emily" she groans.  
"I'm sorry" I say putting my hands on her waist.  
I wrap both my hands around her and press lightly on her stomach. She lets the atv go a little faster. I think about kissing the back of her neck, but I can't without the top of the helmet banging her again, so I resist my urges.  
We manage to get to the docks right before they're about to close. Jason hands the guy the fee and they help him put the boat in the water with his ATV. He comes up beside us when they're finished.  
"I could've done it myself" he mumbles.  
"But okay, Em, can you drive the ATV back?" He asks me.  
"Yeah" I say.  
I've never driven an atv before, this should be fun.  
"I'll follow Alison" I say.  
"Ali" he points at her "don't go fast"  
"I won't just go" she says.  
He hops on the boat and speeds off within an instant. They have a fast boat.  
I hop on the ATV and Alison comes to stand beside me.  
She turns on the engine, and yanks on the shifts near my foot.  
"Okay, you're in drive. So just press this button" she says, pointing to the button underneath the brakes "and you drive. But don't press on it too hard, and if you need to break, use the breaks" she says.  
"Damn baby, you're so girly but look at you, such a cottage girl" I say.  
"Oh c'mon, everyone's gotta ride an atv once in awhile" she blushes.  
My mouth opens wide as I think of the thought that the two of us are finally alone without her parents or brother in sight.  
"What?" She says, looking scared.  
I take off my helmet and lean in towards her. She smiles as I get closer to her lips. I close my eyes and feel her lips on mine. We get interrupted by a mans voice.  
"We're closing"  
I put my helmet back on and Ali walks over to her atv. She turns it on and looks back at me for a second, I figure to give her the thumbs up and as soon as I do she takes off. I press my hand on the button she showed me and bolt right up, my feet nearly flying, I guess I pressed down on it too hard. I start to get the hang of it as we round the corner of Ali's cottage, I want to go faster but I can't look like trouble near her parents. I park the atv right beside hers.  
"Fun eh?" She says.  
I nod my head, then take off the helmet.  
"Slow pokes" Jason says coming out from the cottage.  
Ali and I both roll our eyes.

It's a quiet night, we got here around 5 so there wasn't much to do. After we went to get the boat and came back it turned 6 and now we're all on the couch, watching a movie eating popcorn together. I'm not even sitting beside Ali though. I was before the movie started, but then she got up to get us a coke and then her dad plumped down beside me, and Jason sitting beside his dad. I fit right into the family I guess. I'm at the one end, and Ali's at the other end. I assume after the movies done, her parents will go to bed and will go downstairs and play pool or something. Downstairs is where Jason and Ali spent the most time when they were littler and came here every summer. There's two girls kissing on the screen right now. I shove a handful of popcorn into my mouth and try not to watch. I can hear Jason laugh with a grin plastered to his face. Okay thank god the scene is over. I relax my muscles and try to watch the movie and not think about the thought of kissing Ali, the way those two girls we're just kissing up against the wall.  
"Okay" I say, getting up.  
I don't realize I got up until they're all looking at me and I lock eyes with Alison.  
"I have to go the washroom" I say, walking away.

*Alison's side*  
That was so awkward, we're watching a movie and a kiss scene shared between two girls came on and it was hot, almost as hot as when Emily and I were kissing back at my house. Wow, I throw my one leg over my other and squeeze my legs, Emily gets up at the same time and says she's going to the washroom.  
"Goodnight guys" I say to my parents as I get up.  
My parents are hooked to the TV, I go down the hall of the bedrooms and bathroom. I don't think she's on the toilet so I open the door and walk in.  
"Hey" I say.  
"Hey" she says back.  
"Let's go downstairs" I tell her.  
She walks towards me, because I'm right by the door but I don't move or turn around to leave.  
She speaks my name.  
I put my hand on her face, my finger tips locked in with her hair. I put my other hand on her hip and she takes a step towards me. We start kissing, a new kind of kiss, kissing a way we haven't done before. We're kissing each other fast, and then she stops and puts her lips on my neck. She kisses my neck a couple times and I pull away.  
"I won't give you a hickey" Emily whispers.  
"It's not that" I say holding her hands in mine.  
She looks into my eyes.  
"It just feels really good you know?" I say shyly.  
She puts her lips back on my neck and I hear her say "I know" I let her kiss me slowly, her one hand is underneath my shirt and she's grabbing on to my stomach. I lean my head up on the door and let Emily keep kissing my neck. My hand makes its way to her ass and I grab her, pulling her closer to me.  
"I wanna fuck you too" Emily says.  
I wrap my other hand around the back of her head, making her kiss my neck with a faster pace, but then I stop again.  
"We can't do this" I say, nervously laughing.  
Emily backs off and grabs my hand like I did to her earlier.  
"I know" she says.  
We really can't do this. I mean, I can't fuck her right in my cottages bathroom with my parents sitting down in the living room. I can't do any of that with her here. I open the door and walk out, Emily follows me into the basement. I love it down here, my dad really put his money into this place, my mom helping him when she could. There's a bar in the corner of the basement that my dad built, he stocks up all his alcohol there and puts the cold drinks in the fridge. There's a pool table in the middle of the room, to the other side of the basement, we have another TV and couches, and there's one bathroom down here. Just last year, Jason bought another Xbox and brought it to the cottage, we play it when it's raining or when we can't sleep. I think I've slept down here right on this couch more than I have slept in my actual room upstairs.  
"Want to play?" I hear Jason say.  
I turn around and see him at the pool table, holding a stick.  
"Jesus, how did you get down here-" I start to say but he cuts me off.  
"I was in the bathroom"

The two of us end up taking Jason on and we win. He claims we only one because it was two against one, and he's probably right. Just as I'm about to sit down on the couch, Emily grabs my arm and pulls me to her.  
"Can we go to bed?" She asks.  
I smile at her. I love sleeping beside Emily every night, it's like a dream come true. We don't exactly fall asleep in each other's arms, but it's the feeling of having the one you love the most sleep right beside you in your bed, it's the best feeling. I walk up the stairs and she follows me. My parents finished the movie and are probably sound asleep by now. I hear a soft meow and turn around, Ace's eyes are glowing. I go to pick him up and bring him into the bedroom. After Emily's done in the washroom, I go in after her and do the daily night routine. I come back into my room, completely dark. I guess Emily's really tired, it is around 11 and she did wake up early today to go to school. As I crawl into my bed I see that ace is in Emily's arms. He has stolen my girl. I go right up to both of them, putting my face in Emily's face.  
"What" she says, her breath hot on my face.  
I let a little moan and giggle. I don't know why I'm so excited, and Emily's so tired. I stick my tongue out on Emily's nose, and even though it's dark I can see that she opened her eyes.  
"Alison" she grumbles.  
She tries moving the blankets up, and it makes Ace get up and bounce down onto the floor. She pulls the covers over her face. I go underneath the covers and get in her face again. I kiss her entire face with little pecks and I can tell she's smiling because when I kissed around her mouth I could feel the little dimples creasing. I let out a little ball of excitement and wrap my arms around Emily and squeeze her. She pulls the covers off our faces and let's me rest my head on her chest. I snuggle up to her real quick and continue to hold her.  
"I could stay with you like this forever" I say, closing my eyes.  
"As long as I have you, I know everything's more than okay" Emily says.  
"Is that so?" I ask.  
"Yeah, people say as long as I have you everything's okay but it's not that" she says.  
I can tell she's tired by the way she's talking, but I know Emily, and I know she's about to ramble on about something, but I like when she rambles on, especially when it's about us  
"I mean, I have the girl of my dreams, finally, and it doesn't matter how depressed I was before, or if bad things always happen to me, because ever since you came along, everything's been better than okay. Everything's been great. You make my life great Ali. I enjoy life by your side, I'm always happy with you, always"  
"I love you so much" I whisper.  
She kisses me on the forehead, and that's the last thing I remember. The next time I open my eyes, the sun is shinning through the windows and Emily's putting on black basketball shorts.  
"Breakfasts ready" Jason says opening the door.  
Emily jumps and quickly pulls up her shorts.  
"Oh sorry Em, but hey! We're all family now huh? You don't even know how many times I've seen Alison's small boobs" Jason says.  
"Jason what the fuck? You don't even want to know how many times I've seen his small dick Emily" I say wiping the grin of his face.  
He shuts the door. I fall back down on the bed and close my eyes. Emily jumps on the bed, crawling over top of me. She lays down on top of me and I put my hands around her back. I love her hugs. She pulls me up and drags me off the bed. I guess she is still kind of strong.  
"Woah, muscle coming back?" I ask.  
"It never left baby!" She cheers.  
We walk out of the bedroom together, I didn't bother getting dressed, I can eat breakfast in my pjs, it's classic. I smell the bacon the minute I open the door. That's all my dad ever cooks up here, bacon and eggs and I'm not about to complain. The toast pops when I pass the counter and go in the fridge to get out the orange juice.  
I pour a glass for everyone and set them down at the table, while my dad puts food on the plates.  
"So, today's supposed to be a hot day" my dad says biting into a piece of bacon.  
I yawn and have a sip of the Orange juice. I stare down at my plate, I don't really like eggs, no matter what way they're cooked, but I eat them anyways cause it makes my parents happy. I look over to Emily, she seems to love the eggs as her plate is almost done. I guess it's the protein for her.  
"Will have to get going on the boat right after breakfast and catch some fish for dinner" my dad says.  
I look up at him, then the clock. My god! No wonder why I'm so tired! It's 7:30 in the morning! What are we doing up? What was Emily doing up so early, what the fuck?  
"It's best to go fishing early in the morning" Emily says, wiping her mouth  
"Yes" my dad says, putting his glass in the air.  
"Actually, earlier than this really. Around 6am, especially today since it's going to be hot. The fish won't be bothered to chase after lure on a hot afternoon" Emily fills us in.  
Why does Emily know so much about fishing? She doesn't even fish!  
"You're right! Let's go gang!" My dad practically yells.  
Jason makes a loud cheer with the last piece of food in his mouth and the three boys get up and go to the sink. Yep, I'm calling Emily a boy this week. The only girls still sit at the table, eating their breakfast.  
"Ali, get dressed bab-" Emily starts to say.  
"Buddy" she says, extending extra d's on the word.  
I push away my plate and she takes it for me to the sink. I get up and go in my room, even my mom get dressed for breakfast. By the time I put on my banning suit and throw on a dress over top, and grab sunglasses and my summer hat everyone's waiting for me down at the dock. Jeez, I only took ten minutes. I walk down the never ending stairs to the water and watch Emily and Jason put the fishing rods and kits in the boat. My dads right, it is going to be a hot day. The sun is already blazing.  
"Em, do you have your banning suit on?" I ask.  
"Yeah underneath my shirt" she says.  
Emily's wearing an old blue school shirt she cut at the sleeves, turning it into a tank top and her black shorts. She makes anything look hot.  
"Have you been fishing before?" Emily asks me.  
"No, it's sad" I answer.  
"Oh, I used to go when I was a kid with my dad" she tells me.  
"Oh, well catch some good fish" I say, winking at her.  
I hop in the boat to the front. I love sitting at the front of a boat, especially a speed boat. Whenever you go over waves or going fast, you seriously have to hang on to the boat or the rope as you bounce up and down because of the speed and waves, I love it! One time, Jason was driving the boat and I made my dad come sit up here and ever since, he's never been back up here. It was a windy day, and my dad fell over into the boat and was hanging on for his dear life as we were all crying from laughter.  
"It's hot" Emily says.  
She came up and sat on the other side. I look at my mom and smile, then Jason catches my eye and he gives me the finger. Asshole. My dad unties the ropes then takes us out to his favourite fishing spot a few minutes away. I'm glad he goes slow, I put my feet up on the boat, tip my hat down and rest a bit.  
Jason comes up to the front of the boat scaring the hell out of me, I jump up and bang my foot on the boat.  
"I've always wanted to push Ali in the lake" he says.  
"Ow Jason! You asshole!" I scream.  
There's another boat near us and they look at us.  
"Alison, watch your language" my dad says in his hush tone.  
Jason walks to the back of the boat laughing, and sets up his rod.  
"Don't worry, will throw him in the lake" Emily whispers to me.  
She goes to the back of the boat too, with my dad and Jason.  
My mom comes up to the front of the boat and decides to lay out, letting the sun go on her body. Girls up front, boys out back. My mom has a good idea laying down, it's hot enough to take off my dress. I throw my hat down on the seat and take off my glasses.

*Emily's side*  
I'm at the back of the boat and Alison's at the front. She's lifting up her dress over her shoulders. I've seen her in a bikini before, but my legs go weak the minute she puts the dress down on the seat. She looks at me and smiles. I take a huge gulp and bite my lip. Oh, she's walking towards us, and this time my legs are actually shaking. I sit down before I fall and stare at her body. I can't believe I've touched her boob. I shake my head and try to stop thinking like such a pervert. It's just, the last time I saw Alison in a banning suit she wasn't mine, but now she is, and that's my beautiful girl in that cute bikini. I clear my throat.  
"S'up" I say nodding at her.  
"Um" she stalls.  
I squint at her, she probably only came over here so I could see her body. She sees me catching on and winks at me.  
"Alison, can you move honey?" Her dad says going near her.  
"Yeah, it's just the sunscreens back here" she says, walking towards me.  
She could have went right up to the seat, but instead she leans over me and grabs the sunscreen. Her one boob goes in my face and she's my entire view. My leg twitches, making my free hand grab onto her upper thigh right near her ass, and I stand up immediately after knowing my hand is right near her butt with her parents on board. Her body is on my body and we're so close, we're practically kissing. I quickly put my hand on her stomach and gently shove her away.  
"Sorry" she says looking at me with fire in her eyes.  
"It's okay" I say smiling.  
Jason lets out a big sigh, and my eyes finally leave Alison. I quickly take a glance back and look down. It's hard not to look at the booty. Their father wasn't bothered by any of this, his attention is his fishing rod in the water. Jason goes by his side and throws in his rod. I stay on the other side of the boat and throw in my rod once I attach a worm onto the hook.  
About ten minutes into fishing in silence, Jason catches a fish only to lose it, and his lure. I take off my tank top, it's too hot to have a shirt on. I silently laugh at Jason as he curses and throw my line back into the water.  
I wipe my forehead as sweat falls down. It's not even 10am and it's already so hot out.  
"Want me to put sunscreen on you?" I hear Ali say from behind me.  
It scared me a little, making me jump and almost drop their poll.  
"Shouldn't you be tanning?" I tease.  
"Yeah but" she leans in "I was watching you, and the sun is just glistening on you cause you're so hot" she raises her voice again "so I better put sunscreen on you"  
I take my eyes off the water and look at her. God, this girl is killing me and my little hormones.  
"Same" she says out loud, like she was reading my thoughts.  
I guess facial expressions really do say a lot.  
I feel her slap the sunscreen on my back and I yell  
"Oh, it's cold!"  
"Don't be such a baby" she says, rubbing the sunscreen in on my back.  
It feels like I'm getting a massage, and I let out a little pleased laugh. It feels good, I'll have to ask her to give me a massage tonight. Ali goes really low down my back and it makes me arch my shoulders back. I turn around and look at her mom and dad but her dad has his back turned to us and her mom is turned the other way with Ali's hat over her face. I smile at her then pull my line back up to the surface and throw it back in. Suddenly I feel Ali's hands with cold sunscreen go on my stomach and she's rubbing it in from behind me. She puts her hand down my shorts and I feel her bite on the back of my neck. I push back up onto her and suck in my stomach, this isn't fair. She pushes back to me aggressively and feels me through the underwear I'm wearing, now she knows how wet she's making me. I let out a loud breath once she touched me and she pulls her hand out and takes her mouth of my neck.  
"You're so bad" I say under my breath.  
"Oh!" Alison's dad yells.  
Alison backs away from me and my stomach drops. Shit, he saw.  
"I got one!" He says.  
Oh, never mind.  
I look Ali and she laughs.  
"Nice face" she says.  
"Shut up, I'm going to make you pay" I tell her.  
She goes up to her dad, and I real in my line and set the rod down.  
"Aw" Alison complains, as her dad throws the fish down in the boat.  
It's a medium fella, but we're gonna need to catch another fish, if we're all eating tonight.  
"Nice one" I say.  
"I'll get a bigger one" Jason says, throwing in his line.  
I throw my line in too, and play around with the bait, jumping the line side to side trying to lure in a fish. It takes me three more throws in the water till I catch a fish. I feel something tug on my line and I quickly real it in.  
"Got something" I say out loud.  
Jason's by my side in a minute and so is his dad.  
I pull up my rod, and see a fish that's just as big as the one their dad caught. Perfect! Jason extends the catcher and the fish plops down in there after their dad took it off my hook.  
"Okay, we can call it a day!" He says.  
"Wait man, let me catch one" Jason says.  
"Please, will be here all day" Ali says from up front.  
Her mom came to sit back down on her chair.  
"Let me throw in a few lines and if I don't get anything then we can go back" Jason says.  
I hand my rod to their dad and go back to Ali. I sit down and stare at her as she tans.  
"What?" She says, opening her eyes.  
"Your sweating" I observe, touching her stomach.  
"How's summer school going Emily?" Her mom asks me.  
"Oh, it's great. I don't mind it really, it's just a lot of hours and a lot of questions" I say laughing.  
"Well, it'll be over soon enough" she says.  
"You girls have to find jobs" her mom says.  
"Oh mom, I have to focus on my education and all the homework" Alison says.  
"I had a job, I have money so I'll just get one maybe part time or something" I say.  
"C'mon Jason" I hear the dad say.  
Looks like he isn't getting any fish.  
"Sucks to suck!" Alison shouts.  
We head back to their cottage, and Alison chills in the boat as Jason ties it to the dock.  
"I'm going to go get the trampoline" he says.  
"Sweet" Alison says.  
I hop into the boat once he walks away and sit down with my arms crossed.  
"Hi baby" Alison says.  
"You're an asshole" I say.  
She gets up and sits down beside me, there's really not much room.  
"Hey" she says putting her hand on my thigh.  
I don't say anything, and then she starts bringing her hand up my thigh.  
"Alison" I grumble, taking her hand off me.  
"I'm sorry" she says quickly.  
"No-" I begin but she cuts me off, kissing me on the lips.  
She gives me one kiss then backs off.  
"I must be getting my period soon or something" she says.  
I let out a laugh and then put my hand on her thigh.  
"I want you as much as you want me. I mean, damn look at you. You're fucking sexy in that bikini. But I'm so mad at you" I say.  
"What! Why!" She says loudly.  
"Because you went out of bounds taking off your dress slowly, leaning over me today, and putting your hands down my body. It's not fair" I pout.  
"Feel free to touch me right now" she says.  
I look at her then place my hand over her heart.  
"Have I touched you?" I say.  
"Every day" she says, putting her hand on mine.  
We smile at each other and then Jason ruins the moment.  
"What the fuck, that was lame" he says.  
"Jason! You're lame!" Alison shouts.  
I get out the boat and give Alison my hand to help her out of the boat. How the fuck did Jason carry that huge thing all the way down here with an anchor attached to it?  
"Alright, I'm gonna throw it in so hard, that'll hit button" he says.  
"What? It doesn't work like that, you literally have to swim down there and place the anchor in" Alison says.  
"Sorry, forgot my snorkel kit" Jason says.  
Jason grabs the anchor in his hands and I back away. I push Alison behind me just in case. He lifts the anchor over his shoulders and I can't help but think this is going to end so badly, but then he screams at the top of his lungs and throws the anchor to the side of the dock, not too far away with all his might. He claps his hands then grins.  
"It totally went all the way down" he smirks.  
"Go test your theory" Alison says.  
He takes off his shirt and dives into the water.  
"It's beauty in here!" He says shaking his hair.  
He dunks under the water near the trampoline and I'm assuming he grabs the rope to it.  
"Oh yeah! It won't budge!" He says proudly.  
He lifts his body up onto the trampoline and sits on it.  
"Come on pussies!" He says.  
I guess he doesn't care that their neighbours have kids and they're also outside in the water too.  
"I can't go in till I'm sweating badly" Ali says.  
"Well, just think of how much you'll be sweating in bed with me" I tease.  
"Hardy har" she says as she jumps in the water.  
"It worked! Got you sweating!" I say as she pops her head up.  
I jump right in after and race her to the trampoline.  
Once we get on it and bounce for awhile we all fall down and lay on our backs, out of breath staring up to the sunny sky.  
"We should go tubing later" Jason says.  
"Or sea dooing" Ali says.  
"No you fagot, I'm not putting it into the water in this heat" Jason says.  
"K, easy on the language asshole" Ali says.  
"Well you are"  
"No I'm not you fucking idiot. A fagot is a guy and do I have a dick? No"  
"Emily, does she have a dick?" Jason asks me.  
"No, you'd be able to see it right now" I say.  
"Okay, so you're a lesbian" Jason says.  
"Yeah but I only like Emily" Alison says.  
I throw my hand on her stomach when she says that, indicating I only like her too.  
"So like have you always liked girls?" Jason goes on.  
"Emily was the first girl I liked and she's still the only girl I like"  
"Wow love birds" Jason spits.  
"Don't be jealous that you can't keep a girl in your life for more than a month" Ali laughs.  
"Hey man, it's not that. It's just, I'm a teenager, I'm young and I wanna fuck a lot of hot people, why should I settle down when there's so many hot girls out there?"  
"Because nothing beats sleeping beside the same person every night" I say.  
Alison reaches over and kisses me on the chin. I'm already getting hot again and I don't even think we've been on here longer for ten minutes.  
"I'm gonna swim out, get my exercise in" I announce.  
"Swimming sounds like a good idea" Jason says standing up.  
He jumps in the water, splashing us. Alison takes my hand and we jump in together. I let go of her hand the minute we hit water to pull myself up. She smiles with her mouth open at me and I can't help but smile and laugh.  
"What?" I ask.  
"I don't know, I just like being here with you" she says.  
I swim closer to her and put my arms around her. It's a lot harder than it seems to hug someone in an open lake. Her legs kick up onto my upper legs and I start to go underwater. She lets go and I splash back up.  
"Okay, wanna come swim?" I ask.  
She nods her head. I take off, kicking both my legs and changing positions with putting my arms in and out of the water with my head to the side. Swimming is great. Alison turns around halfway as we start nearing a cave in of all the cottages on the right side. I keep swimming, I swim till I'm right near one of the docks and I look back to see how far I swam. Quite the way. I start swimming back after I take a short breath.

"We're having a fire tomorrow night" Ali says as I climb onto the trampoline.  
I spread out on the trampoline and sort of die from the swim I just had. Ali hits me in the stomach then yells  
"Work those abs girl!"  
"We're having a fire every night" Jason says. "And actually, a few of dads friends are up here so it's a little on the low key party tomorrow"  
"Which is great because Steven has his family up here and little Jake said he brought a couple friends up and one of them is a girl, and hopefully she's hot"  
"Calm down Jason" Alison says.  
I laugh at that then close my eyes.

We spend the entire day down on the dock and in the water. Jennifer, Alison's mom brought up down some fruit and chips and pops, and Jason cranked the radio on in the boat. It's been a great day, and I can't believe the suns going down now.  
"Tomorrow, will out on the boat at night" Jason says leaning in towards me "Alison gets scared, it's fun"  
"Aw poor thing" I say.

The rest of the day goes by quick, we go back up to the cottage and eat the fish we caught, expect Alison won't eat it, so she just ate fries and vegetables. Jason made a horrible comment at the table.  
"It's okay Ali, you can have chicken later"  
I had food in my mouth at the time and I hope my eyes didn't open too wide. Alison kept it cool and said she's not hungry but I know she's going to kill Jason for saying that in front of her parents.

"Why would you do that?" Ali asks.  
We're downstairs again, Ali and I have been playing xbox for the last hour. We haven't really been talking, she's pissed off and she's not even sitting in between my lap. I'm up on the couch and she's on the floor. I've kissed her cheeks a million times but she hasn't been kissing me back. I don't know if I did something wrong or if she's really upset over what Jason said. Jason stands there near the pool table trying to hold in his laughter.  
"Because it was fucking hilarious! Tell me you didn't want to laugh!" He says laughing.  
Ali raises her voice.  
"No Jason, I didn't want to laugh because I don't think our parents would be okay with me liking a girl when they've brought me up to like guys! Stop being such an asshole, do you want them to find out for them only to kick me out of the house?"  
Jason walks over towards slowly.  
"Alison. They wouldn't disown you. I'll literally ask them in a few days what they would do if I was gay okay? It'll be fine I promise you. They don't hate gay people! Mom loves the gay guy Tomas that works with her you know that! And we always see gay couples on TV, they don't say anything"  
"Yeah, because it's not their daughter" she says quietly.  
All I want to do right now is hug Alison, my poor girl is scared to come out and I can't blame her. I pause the game and scotch down on the floor beside her and wrap my arms around her. At first she resists but then I take her head and put in on my chest and she hugs me back.  
"It's okay baby" I say.  
Jason walks back upstairs and leaves us alone. I actually think he feels bad for what he said.  
"You're my best friend you know? And no matter what happens will always have each other. Your parents love you, there's no need to be scared. Maybe hold of telling them though, considering I live with you and they wouldn't want me to be sleeping in the same bed as you" I say.  
She laughs at the ending, and it's only when she sniffles that I realize she was crying.  
"It's going to be okay sweetheart I promise you"  
I squeeze her lightly then give her a kiss on the forehead.

We end up cuddling on the couch for the rest of the night watching a movie. I love how close we are, she's my little spoon. The back of her body is pressed up against the front of mine and she's resting on my arm while my other hand is in lock with hers.  
"I'm so tired" Ali says turning around.  
She rolls on to me and stretches her leg out on my body.  
I give her a quick kiss on the lips then let her fall asleep on me. I don't realize I've fallen asleep till I try to turn on my side and end up almost falling off the couch with Alison on me.

"For someone who doesn't want to get caught, I don't really think you should be sleeping with each other on a couch" Jason muffles right beside us.  
I open my eyes, he's kneeling down on his knees right near us.  
"Jason fuck off" Alison says getting off me. "What do you want?"  
"Let's go ride" he says smiling.  
I look at the clock, it's nine thirty in the morning, not bad. You never want to sleep in when you know you're on vacation.

By the time we get ready and eat, Jason doesn't even want to go anymore because he's lost patience. I tell him it was only 35 minutes and he should be happy considering Alison just threw on a pair of my sweatpants and a plain white shirt with her hair up and she didn't even put make up on!  
"So what took you so long then?" He asks.  
We're in the garage right now and Jason is drinking a beer listening to rock n roll.  
"We still had to get dress and we made pancakes" Alison sighs.  
"Mom and dad left in the morning to go get some chips and alcohol for tonight" Jason tells us "they said we can take the ATVS out today so let's go before they get back huh?"  
Alison throws on her helmet and a pair of goggles, so does Jason. I hop on the atv and then let Alison slide on in front of me.  
"You can drive on the way back babe" she says over the engine.

About an hour and a half later and I now know why Alison threw on my clothes. We're covered in mud. She got my favourite white t-shirt dirty.  
"I'll make up for it I promise!" She says laughing.  
I'm covered in mud too. Jason decided to go down a path with the sign "dirt road" who knew it was actually going to be so dirty. Of course Jason was driving fast the whole time, and the two of them make everything a competition so Ali had to keep up with him. Jason throws his hands up in front of us and Alison brakes. She cuts the engine off and gets up. I get up too but go on the other side. I'm a mess, there's mud all over my face and in my hair, at least they have a helmet.  
"Will go get something to eat up there" Jason says pointing up the road.  
I can't make out anything, but it just looks like a little store.  
Alison looks at me and laughs, I turn my body the other way. I hear Jason going back to his ATV and I hear other footsteps coming towards me.  
"Emily" Alison says, touching my arm.  
She wipes off a bit of dry mud off my shirt.  
"Isn't it fun?" She asks.  
"Look at me! I'm-" I begin to say.  
"What? A dirty girl?" She finishes for me.  
"Stop" I tell her and take a step back.  
She takes a step forward and wipes mud off my face.  
"I'd offer my helmet but we're down with mud tracks!" Alison beams.  
"You're not mad are you?" She asks.  
I look at her and don't respond.  
She begins to turn around but I grab her arm.  
"I just don't like being covered in dirt"  
Alison's face glows with excitement and she jumps up and down.  
"Jason! Let's go to that beach!" She shouts.  
"We can strip down and wash off at the beach baby" she says.  
We get back on the ATV and I lean close to her ear.  
"Was this your plan all along? To get us muddy so we have to get naked at the beach?" I ask.  
"Mm, sounds like a good plan huh?" She says.  
I laugh and tap the back of her head.

Before we got to the beach we stopped at the store and Jason got bottles of pop even though there's already some at the cottage and he got a bag of beef jerky.  
The beach we're at is breath taking. There's no one else here, the sand is so clean, and the water is clear. The view is endless. All I see is the blue reflecting of the water from the sun and a beautiful girl to my left.  
"I can't swim" I whisper to Ali.  
"Why?" She asks.  
"Can you swim with your clothes on?" I ask.  
"No, take them off for me"  
I manage a weak laugh then turn red. The truth is, I won't be able to handle seeing Ali half naked. How am I supposed to stay calm when my girlfriend takes off her shirt and pants and she's in a sexy bra and sexy underwear? I look over at Jason and he's already in his boxers. I don't remember if I put on normal underwear today or if I'm wearing boxers. I pull up my shorts and see that I'm wearing Calvin Klein's black briefs.  
"Mm" Ali says pressing her lips together.  
She grabs ahold of my shirt and starts lifting it up. I lift up my arms and she throws my shirt on the sand. I'm wearing a black bra and she looks at my body. I back away from her and then she takes off the shirt she's wearing slowly.  
"Stop" I say under my breath.  
She's wearing a pink bra, and then she slides off my sweatpants she's wearing, she's also wearing pink undies. I don't slowly breathe in, most people breathe in slowly but I'm breathing in fast and exhaling even faster. Alison giggles and then the next second she's screaming at Jason because he splashed her.  
"You know our clothes are what's most dirty" I point out.  
"Yeah but the clothes need soap and we need something to go back home in" Alison teases.  
I drop off my shorts, not even trying to make it sexual like Alison did. The truth is, I don't know how to turn someone on or act sexual. I just like to be pleased. She comes over to me and grabs my hand, leading me in the water. I try not to stare at the back of her because her brother is watching but it's hard. So many thoughts are racing through my mind as I stare at her ass right now. I stop walking and she yanks back. I grab her arm and she turns around facing me. I grab her body.  
"I'm sorry, I just can't handle it" I say, then I start kissing her.  
"Wow seriously? And they say guys can't control themselves!" Jason yells.  
I stop kissing her after Jason talks. He's right, I should be able to control myself. It's just, Alison is so sexy and it's so hard right now.  
My feet touch the water, it's a little cold but we're all thankful considering how hot out it is. The water is at ease and I love it. I'm so used to waves from the ocean. I dive into the water and soak my head. Alison comes up behind me and starts touching me.  
"Cleaning you up baby" she says.  
"Well thank you" I say.  
By the time she's done, there's no more dirt on me, and I start cleaning her. After I finish she starts to swim away but I stop her.  
"I missed a spot" I say.  
I put my lips on hers and kiss her.  
"Got it" I say smiling like a fool.  
"Oh jeez" Ali says smiling too.  
"Gross" Jason says from behind us.  
We both splash water at him.  
Jason's wet hair hangs on his face and he pulls it back, it'd look funny if he were to ever wear a pony tail.  
"I can't believe it's already two. We should get back soon" Jason tells us.  
"How is it two?" Alison asks.  
Jason points to his watch and I invite him in on some advice.  
"You know, you really shouldn't swim with a watch on. Especially an expensive one"  
"I can always just buy a new one"  
We walk back on to the beach and start to dry off. I'm dying to ask Jason a question. But my mind is somewhere else right now. Alison's body is dripping wet. Her brother is lying down on the sand drying off with his eyes closed. Alison's about to lye down too but I pull her in towards me. I kiss her as quietly as I can. I kiss her neck a couple times, and I keep kissing her, slowly going down each time. Suddenly I'm grabbing her boob and kissing the other one. I stop before I get to into it and straighten out my back.  
"I'm sorry" I say quietly.  
She bends down and does the exact thing I did to her.  
"Don't be" she says winking.  
I nearly lose my footing and fall over but she puts her arm around my back and then we sit down. I feel her kiss my cheek before she plops down and starts tanning. I lay back down too and grab her hand. The sun feels nice on my body and so does Alison's hand locked with mine.

Ali keeps her promise and let's me use her helmet on the way back, and I refused a couple times because I know how much she likes keeping clean but she just popped the helmet on my head anyways. I sort of feel bad but she insisted that its fine. Having this helmet on only makes the day feel even hotter. God, sometimes I can't stand this heat. I wish I was back in the cool lake. I wipe sweat of my forehead and take in the landscape around me. We're on the mud road again, but this time we're going slower, trying not to get muddy. It's crazy on this road, it's completely wet dirt and every time you think you're going to get stuck, there's a little landing of dry dirt that gets you through. The road is narrow, only accessible with ATVS or dirt bikes, and on both sides as we ride through all I can see is big beautiful long trees.

"Don't do anything stupid tonight boy" their dad says to Jason.  
"What? I don't do anything stupid. I just tell people how it is" Jason laughs.  
After we got back, their parents were urging us to help them set up and get everything ready. Alison wanted to tan though, her parents shook their head and let her go down to the dock.  
I take out chairs from the shed and set them around their fire pit. I go back into the shed to grab a pop while Jason blasts some rock n roll from the radio.  
"I should put on my rap mix" he says.  
"I'm sure your parents will love that" I tell him.  
I walk into the house and set up bowls of different chips and put the pop they got in the fridge while Jennifer makes dinner.  
"When's everyone coming?" I ask.  
"Within an hour for supper" she answers.  
I look at her and smile.  
"I missed having you around Emily. I know Alison leaving hurt. It hurt me too" she says out of nowhere.  
"I missed being around" I say  
She doesn't respond so I throw my hands up and say  
"But I'm here now and everything's good. And whatever you're making smells delicious!"  
She lets out a little laugh and tells me she's just making Cesar salad and French fries. Marcus is outside on the bbq making hot dogs and hamburgers.  
"Anything else?" I ask.  
"Could you just make sure that Jason is actually putting the alcohol in the coolers and fridge out in the shed please" her mom asks smiling.  
I nod my head and walk out the door. I go into the shed and Jason's jamming out to a song on the radio.  
"Are you already drinking?" I ask.  
"Nah, you just have to enjoy life you know? Make it fun, do things you want to do. If I feel like dancing, I'll dance. I don't care" he says.  
"Okay priest" I say. "Your mom wants you to put all the alcohol in the coolers and fridge"  
"Yeah I'm working on it" he says.  
I look around and see beer, Palm Bay, breezes, and Mike Hards. Jason waves me off as soon as I go near the beer.  
"It's cool, I got it. I'll bring you guys down a drink when I'm done" he says.

As I walk down to the dock I take in my beautiful girl laying down on her back and smile. I think about scaring her, but her eyes are closed and she looks like she's enjoying herself, laying down there baking in the sun. I also think about fucking her, she looks really good in a bikini. She looks really good in anything. I quietly walk near her and lay down on the dock next to her.  
"Hi baby" I say kissing her hair.  
Her hair was sweaty. I wipe my tongue with my hand and close my eyes myself. I've never been one to lay out in the sun and melt, but I understand why people enjoy it. It is peaceful in a way and sweating for no reason sometimes feels good.  
"Everyone's going to be drunk tonight expect for us" Alison groans.  
"Well that's good, maybe we can sneak away then and be alone together" I say.  
"That is true" she says, lightning up.  
"Or, we can go for a boat ride like I said yesterday" Jason says from behind.  
God, he keeps showing up everywhere, like he's never too far away.  
"Oh, I don't know" Alison says.  
"Anyways" Jason says handing us a Mike Hards.  
He hands me a cherry flavour and Alison a lime one. We switch them and smile at each other. Jason's drinking a corona.

Alison wasn't joking when she said we were going to be the only ones not drunk. It's been about an hour since we finished super and half the adults are already on their fourth drink. I guess this was there get away, they're enjoyment. I don't blame them, people can do whatever they want to do. Jason's really kicking it off with the one girl he said was coming. He's been with her the whole time, even sat beside her at the dinner table. I admire that, I admire how he's never even met this girl before but he still makes the move to start a conversation with her and sit beside her, even if it's just to get in her pants. Who knows, maybe he wants more.  
"Can you start the fire?" Ali asks me.  
"Huh?" I ask.  
"I'm bad at starting fires" she says.  
"You know how to ride an atv but you can't start a fire?" I tease.  
"Something like that" she shrugs.  
I throw on a few piles of the wood near the fire and spill a little bit of the Palm Bay in my can on to it since we have no paper and I'm too lazy to get some. I take the lighter out of Alison's hand and set it on to the log. The fire whips to life and we both jump back. We start laughing really hard.  
"I think I'll do it next time" Ali says holding her stomach.  
"Oh I love fires" I hear someone say.  
I look behind me and see Jason and the girl he's with.  
"Stacy, this is my sister Alison, and her friend Emily" Jason says introducing us.  
Stacy shakes Alison's hand then my hand.  
I understand why he said friend. Stacy's dad is friends with Alison's dad and she could have mentioned it to her dad and then asked Marcus about it. Word always gets around. We all sit down at the fire and a few more people come.  
"Hey Ali!" Her dad shouts near the fire.  
He's standing with one of his friends, and I'm guessing the friends son.  
He waves Ali over and she gets up and walks to them. I watch her shake hands with the guy and feel disgusted. I roll my eyes and hear Jason laugh.  
"Don't worry, she loves you" he whispers in my ear.

*Alison's side*  
I hate when my dad introduces me to his friends sons. Sorry dad, I like girls. Sorry dad, I'm in a relationship.  
"Hi I'm Andy" the guy says.  
I shake his hand and tell him my name.  
"Alison's going into grade 12" my dad says to them.  
"So is Andy!" His friend says.  
They all laugh and I fake a laugh.  
Andy's small, smaller than me, he has that Justin Bieber hair cut from 2010 and he's wearing a white tank top with khaki shorts. I look back at Emily, she meets my gaze and I do a pouty face. I try to mock the words "save me" but I don't think she understands. I turn around and pretend I'm interested in the conversation that's going on. I don't know why my dad doesn't realize by now how awkward this is every time. I stand in front of the boy, the boy stands in front of me, and he talks to his friend about me, and his friend talks to him about his son while the whole time, the son and I do nothing.  
"Hey Ali, I think Ace needs some milk and I couldn't find the scissors to cut open the milk bag, no one else was inside, can you come help?" Emily says, from beside me.  
"Of course" I say, trying to hide my smile. "I'll be right back" I tell my guests.  
"Damn, what took you so long? I thought you didn't understand what I was saying" I tell Em on our way to the cottage.  
"Oh Ali, I've known you since elementary school, it's easy to read your face without you even having to say anything. I just couldn't think of what to say. I think the coolers are getting to me" she says.  
I let out a laugh and remind her that she's only had two.  
We go into the cottage and play with ace in my room for a bit.  
"I like being with you" Emily mumbles.  
"I love being with you" I say.  
"That's what I meant" Emily recovers.  
We both laugh and look at each other. We don't say any words, I don't know what she's thinking right now but I'm thinking about her. How she's my best friend in the entire world, how close we are. It's unbelievable how we've never really had a huge fight that's torn our friendship apart expect for when I left. I hope our relationship never ends. I need her. She puts her lips on mine, erasing my precious thoughts with new thoughts. In this moment, I'm happy. I'm happy and glad to be kissing not only my girlfriend, but my best friend.  
"Let's go!" Jason yells slamming my door open.  
I jump back and the cat meows off the bed. Emily stands up. I hear a distant giggle and realize Jason brought the girl with him.  
"Where?" I ask.  
"Boat ride" he replies quickly. "Mom and dad are busy with there friends. They won't even know that we're gone"  
"It's probably a good idea to ask" I tell him.  
"You're only saying that because you know they'll say no. Don't worry, will only go for a quick one" Jason says smiling.  
I know he knows that I won't try to get out of going for a boat ride in front of Emily and his girl. He knows I won't want to disappoint them all. Jason's an asshole. I hate going on boat rides at night, it's so dark and it terrifies me. The water is no longer blue, it's black and the waves get rougher. I'm scared of the water at night. Regardless, I get off my bed and we go out the back door to the dock.  
Jason unties the ropes and jumps in the boat. The night is a lot cooler by the water and I shiver. There's no way I would ever sit up front at night. Jason pushes the boat off by the dock and waits a bit till he turns on the engine, in fear of our parents hearing. The minute he turns it on I grab on to the edge and my other hand touches Emily's.  
"Hey" she says squeezing my hand.  
"I've never been boating at night" Stacy says.  
"Me neither" Emily adds in.  
"I don't like it" I say.  
"I love it" Jason hollers.  
With that note, he goes faster and the ride gets bumpier. I squeeze Emily's hand and try not to look at the water. My biggest fear is falling into the water at night.  
"Hey we should go for a night dip" Jason says.  
My stomach turns and I growl at him.  
"None of us have our banning suits you fucking idiot"  
"Woa there tiger! Emily, control your girl!" Jason says.  
"You don't like it?" Emily asks.  
"No, I hate it. Look how dark the water is, and the waves are rougher" I tell her.  
"I know, but you can find beauty in anything" Emily tells me.  
"What's beautiful about it?" I ask.  
"The fact that you're with two people who care about you and it's an experience, boating at night. The water may look dark but if you look close enough, you'll be able to see the stars reflecting off the water" she tells me.  
I try to look.  
"Not right now though, when the boat stops" Emily laughs.  
I scootch over closer to Emily and she wraps her arm around me, I snuggle up into her neck and try to stop hating this boat ride.  
Jason cuts off the engine and I watch him look at Stacy then wink at me. There's something wrong with Jason I swear.  
"It's a beautiful night" Jason says.  
"It is" Stacy says.  
"And you're a beautiful girl" he says to her.  
She giggles and I try not to puke.  
"Okay, maybe you can't see the stars, it's too dark" Emily says.  
"Yeah" I say looking at the water then looking away.  
I really don't like being out in the open lake. I can tell Jason wants to kiss this girl and it makes me wonder why he brought Emily and I along in the first place. Why not just go out here yourself? Oh, probably because if we got caught he wouldn't be the only one in trouble.  
"Okay Jason, gotta go back now" I tell him.  
"Okay mom" Jason says starting the boat back up.  
I look at Stacy from behind. Her hair black with faint purple in it. She has a lot of freckles. She's pretty but she doesn't look any older than me.  
"Hey Stacy, how old are you?" I ask her.  
"Seventeen" she says.  
I let out a really loud laugh and slap Jason, I couldn't help myself. I'm not trying to be rude, but that's just so funny. Jason's nearly 23, and if she's seventeen that means she's probably in grade 11, or grade 12.  
"Grade 11?" I ask.  
"Yeah. What's so funny?" She asks.  
"Jason's 22" I tell her.  
"That's okay. I like older girls, and they like me" she says super cocky.  
She plays with his hair and it makes me a little sick so I look at Emily and feel better instantly.  
"You're so pretty Alison" she says into my ear.  
It makes me tingle and flinch my body. She kisses my ear lobe then bites it gently.  
"Stop it" I laugh, putting my hand on her chest.  
The sexual tension between the two of us lately is real. We've loved each other since we were kids, we've known about kissing since we were really young, we've known about sex since grade eight, waiting to be with someone that long makes it so frustrating when you've both been thinking the same things.  
We finally get off the boat and as were walking back up to join the party, I can't help but say what's always on my mind.  
"I don't know why we waited so long" I say sadly.  
"I know" Emily says.  
I didn't want to bring it up but I couldn't help it.  
"It doesn't matter how long you waited, because in the end you got what you wanted. It was worth the wait. Don't dwell on what you didn't do in the past, just learn from it" Jason says.  
"Wow, he knew you were full of wisdom" I say taken back.  
"I've been in love a couple times" he says.  
"I love your sister so much" Emily says.  
"I know you do. She loves you too" Jason speaks for me.  
"Now if you excuse me. I'm going to catch up to Stacy and introduce her to my room" Jason says running away.  
I grab Emily's hand and swing her in towards me then plant a kiss on her cheek.

Everyone's really drunk now. Are these people sleeping over or something? They're all at the fire pit dancing and singing along to the songs. It's fun to see that older people still have time to enjoy themselves.  
"This will be us later on" I tell Emily.  
We sit down at the fire for a bit, till I find out why I'm so tired. It's Monday.  
"Time for bed" I yawn.

I don't know how late my parents stayed out last night. All I know is that it's ten in the morning and they're still sleeping. There were a few people in the house last night that crashed, but I guess they woke up early and left. Emily and I decide to do what Jason always does to us. We walk into his room and scare him. We both yell at the same time, making Jason and Stacy yell too. I'm guessing they did the naughty, all the clothes are on the ground and Stacy pulled up the sheets the minute she jolted up. I wonder how she's planning on getting home? I wonder if Emily is standing right next to me thinking why is Jason having sex with his parents here but Ali isn't? I pull a face and hope she's not thinking that. I just don't want to get caught by my parents, we'd probably be too loud.  
"Get out Alison" Jason moans.  
I shut his door and walk out with Emily. The two of us get dressed and plan on taking Ace down to the dock.  
"I don't think will be doing much of anything today" I tell Emily. "They're all hungover"

We spend the day going back and forth from being inside and outside. We make coffees, play Xbox, tease Jason, sit outside and talk about nothing and everything at the same time, eat, and then finally sleep to wake up and start a fresh new day.  
"Here's the plan" Jason says coming to the table.  
Alison throws a banana at him and he catches it.  
"I'm putting the jet ski in the water, will jet ski, then we'll go tubing" he enlightens us.  
After we get dressed to go swimming I tell Emily that we will be ready before him one of these days.  
He's already put the jet ski in the water by the time we get down to the water. This guy has no chill whatsoever. I love it.  
"Alison, what the fuck? Why couldn't you grab the tube?" Jason complains.  
"Mom will later" I tell him.  
"Do you remember how to ride these things?" He asks me.  
He knows I always want to ride with someone just in case for the first time.  
"Come on" he says.  
"Baby, you can go on the trampoline" I tell Emily. "Will be back soon, go get wet"  
She lets out a laugh and I climb on to the jet ski. Jason steps on it and sits behind me. He turns it on and I press my hand down on the gas. I hate turning on this jet ski, I swear we have the most tippiest one ever. Last time I was on one when Jason was driving, I fell off it. Jason couldn't even drive after that for ten minutes because he was too busy having a heart attack of laughing. I fly back to our cottage and splash Emily on the trampoline.  
"Hey!" She yells.  
Jason jumps off the jet ski, on to the trampoline.  
"Go for a little ride little love birds" he says putting his hands underneath his head.  
Emily steps on the jet ski and I have to scream at her  
"Quick put your foot on the other side!"  
"I'm sorry" she says.  
"It's okay, it's just this thing is really fucking tippy, I can't trust it" I tell her.  
"Oh" she says.  
I let a laugh and slap her leg lightly.  
"Baby baby" I say, then press my hand down on the gas.  
We take off and Emily nearly falls off, she wraps both her hands around my stomach. After I slow down she takes her hands off me and I turn my head around.  
"I miss your lips" I say.  
She kisses me softly, and it makes me want to completely turn my body around and just kiss her for the rest of the day. A boat passes us, a boat full of young adults and some of the guys howl.  
"You guys wanna follow us?" Someone hollers at us.  
That sounds like a really bad idea.  
I look back and luckily we're not too far away from our cottage, which means Jason can see us, and I know he's getting in the boat right now.  
"Um" I say back.  
"Where you going?" Emily asks.  
"The beach" another voice says.  
A few seconds later, Jason comes up beside us on the boat.  
"Hey" he says looking at us then the little party boat.  
"Hey man! Let's go!" A guy on the boat says.  
The boat takes off and Jason quickly asks me where there going and who they were.  
"I don't know but there going to a beach" I say.  
"Let's follow them" he says smiling.  
So we do, and we do end up going to a beach. Expect, there's a lot of boats near the beach and a lot of people, with really loud music. I guess someone is throwing a party on this beach.  
"This is a public beach" Jason shouts at us.  
I take my hand off the gas once the jet ski hits sand and get off. I'm about to drag it up on to the beach, but a guy comes over and does it for me.  
"Thank you" I say.  
"No probs girly" he says.  
I look over at Jason, he threw an anchor in the boat, and he's swimming over now. There's a bunch of people in the water, and there's a bunch of people on the beach. They all seem to be in their late teens and early twenties.  
"So, who's party?" Jason asks the closest guy to us.  
"Scott's" he says.  
"Won't we get in trouble?" Emily asks me.  
"No, it's a public beach, I mean unless the cops come and see alcohol, then will get in trouble" I tell her.  
"That's why every single person here has a can of pop, filled with alcohol in it. Cops can't do shit!" The guy Jason was talking to says.  
"Hey those were the two girls kissing!" A guy shouts pointing at us.  
He starts walking over to us, and I'm kinda feeling like leaving. The guy gives us his hand and tells us his name is Jacob. He's attractive for a guy. He's really fit, has a six pack, tan body, white teeth, and a strong jawline. I love his hair, a brown fohawk. He brings us over to a group of girls and tells us that they're all lesbians too. I don't know if I necessarily believe they're all lesbians, but most of them are kissing each other and it's hot. A few girls here aren't wearing bikini tops, they're just letting their titties hang free and I try not to look.  
"Hey" a girl says to Jason.  
Her bikini top is barley covering her boobs, but I guess when you have huge boobs and a small size bikini.  
"Hey" Jason says.  
He looks at me and pulls out his phone.  
"I'm telling the rents that we're at a party and won't be home till later and not to wait up"  
"Okay" I tell him.  
He walks off with the girl, and two seconds later they're making out.  
This party seems like a huge orgy to me. I look around and only see a few people not kissing anyone, myself included.  
"What do you think?" Jacob asks us.  
"About the party?" Emily says.  
"Or the orgy?" I say.  
He lets out a laugh and sits down on the beach like a few other people.  
I feel someone grab my ass and I turn around, there's a bunch of girls behind me but they're all kissing each other. I don't know, I don't care. They probably just grabbed the wrong butt.  
"Oh wait!" Jacob says getting up.  
"Let me show you guys something" he says.  
He takes Emily's hand and Emily takes my hand. We go out into the grass and he lifts up a patch of grass, revealing bottles of alcohol and empty cans of pop.  
"You guys came prepared" Emily says.  
"Yep, Scott's a mastermind" he tells us.  
Jacob's voice sounds really bad, like he smokes 50 cigarettes a day.  
I haven't got drunk since last summer, but maybe it's a good idea to get drunk again so I can stop thinking the last time I got drunk I almost got raped.  
"So why a party on a Thursday?" I ask.  
"Like your girl said, been planning this for awhile!" He cheers.  
He pours vodka into the pop cans and then puts actual coke into the pop can. He fills another can up with rum and coke. Emily takes the one with rum, and I get the one with vodka.  
"I really like lesbians" he says when we go back to the same spot we were before.  
"Yeah? So you wouldn't mind two girls getting married?" I ask.  
"Of course not. I like gay guys too. There's a few kissing that I see right now" he says pointing into the water.  
"I'll probably end up having sex with a guy one day. Hell, maybe even today" he laughs.  
"We're setting off fireworks when it gets dark out" he tells us.  
"That's sweet" Em says.  
Jacob ends up leaving and going into the water, I don't blame him it's hot. I start looking around again, slowly, and just as I'm about to keep looking, I spy some girl sucking some guys dick right behind my jet ski.  
"Ew look" I say to Emily, pointing.  
"Ew" she laughs.  
Some of the girls around us start moaning and I understand why. They're really making out, tongue and all, and some are fingering each other. I guess people really don't care what others see. Others are dancing on each other, and everyone in the water is throwing their hands up, jumping up and down in the water to this electronic music.  
"Wanna join?" A girl says to Emily.  
"No" Emily says bluntly.  
Emily and I are literally sitting down right now taking in everything that's going on around us. Seeing these girls kiss each other makes me want to kiss Emily and as soon as I'm about to, a guy literally lifts both of us off the sand and screams  
"Boat time!"  
A lot of the people run into the water and start swimming out to the boats. I'm just trying to figure out why this guy picked us up.  
"You guys can come on my boat" he says as we walk into the water.  
"What're we doing on the boat?" Emily asks.  
"Are you guys new? You guys look new" he says.  
I take him in. He has abs too, and a buzz cut, a lot of these guys have abs. But he's not tan, and he looks sort of sad, you can see it in his blue eyes. He has small lips and his cheeks are really skinny.  
When he doesn't he us say anything he tells us  
"It's time to dance on the boat, it's three. Three o'clock means time to party on the two big boats and have a dance competition with the other boat while five people stay in the water and judge the scores after each song" he says.  
That sounds cool. We hop on to his boat and everyone on the boat greets him. I just learnt that he's Scott. The guy that's throwing this party.  
"Okay! First song is Lean On!"  
Scott screams at the other boat.  
"You got it?"  
A guy screams back yes.  
At the same time, they put on the same song and blast it, it's really fucking loud and I find myself laughing. As soon as the music was on, everyone started dancing, myself included. Mostly everyone on this boat is just swaying their hips and throwing one hand up and the other down while some guys up front are dancing on the ground. What's that called? Street dancing? I throw my hands up and shake my head to the left and right. Every time my head shakes to the left I look at the other boat. There's a form of girls in a line who're attached to each other stepping up on their feet and popping out their hips. The rest of the boat is getting danced with the guys. The girls are grinding their butts into the guys while the just nod their heads.  
The song ends and in between it says we have a one minute break.  
It's completely quiet and we wait to here from the judges that are standing up on jet skis.  
The first judge puts up a sign "Scott's boat" so does the second person,fourth person, and the fifth person! We won! One of the judges says really loud  
"Maybe Jacobs boat, should have the guys actually dancing!"  
A lot of people on both boats laugh and so does everyone else in the other boats watching. Some people are in the water watching too, the boats aren't far out from the beach.  
"Alright next song, you guys ready for this? Turn down for what!" Scott yells.  
Within twenty seconds the song comes on and we all start dancing again. Everyone on this side of the boat is mimicking hitting the drums so me and Emily join in. On the other side there dancing up and down and spinning their bodies, it actually kind of looks cool. When the bass hits, a lot of the people on our side we drop down to the ground and go up and down while others just sway. On the other side of the boat they're doing the same thing. By the second time the beat drops, a bunch of girls are getting on top of guys shoulders, and next thing I know Emily and I are on some guy's shoulders and when the beat drops we shake our heads and throw our arms up in the air. I think it's safe to say we're going to win. I look over at the other boat and they're just watching us.  
The judges all hold up a sign that says Scott's boat and everyone cheers.  
"Alright I just want everyone to know, that Jacob picked this song not me!" Scott says as soon as the next song is about to come on.  
It's shake it off.  
On the other side of the boat, all of them are putting one foot in front of the other and swaying their arms back and forth. On this side, the boys are nodding their heads with their one hand on the chin, and the girls are just dancing like crazy cause it's Taylor swift. When the chorus comes on, we all start shaking our hands and on the other boat, all the girls took off their bras and started shaking their bikinis in the air. It's safe to say, this better just got crazy. You can't even hear the music anymore, barley. Everyone's cheering and howling. By the second verse, we practically just give up, doing our own thing and on the other side the boys are intimidating driving in a car and throwing their fists into the air. It comes to the chorus again and they whip their bikinis in their hands again. By the third of the verse, that people on the boat all points to us and mock the singing, then drop down low and pick it back up again by swaying their body.  
All of the judges put a sign that says Jacob's boat!  
"2-1 for Scott's boat!" One of them yells.  
I catch Jason in one of the boats and wave to him. He waves back.  
"How many songs are we doing?" I ask someone near me.  
"Five in total, after us goes all the people in the water!" The girl tells me.  
"Find your love" Scott yells.  
Whispers went on before it comes on that we're all supposed to dance with one person and do the best we can. When it comes on I grab Emily's waist and she throws her arms around my shoulders. All I pay attention to the whole time is Emily dancing with me. She drops ahold of my shoulders and comes in closer to me, putting her hands up in the air. She brings them back down, and turns me around. She grabs my hips as I dance on her, and soon after I turn around and kiss her, the song finishes.  
The first judge throws up a Jacobs boat sign and he's the only one that did. We won again.  
"Alright, the last song is Can't feel my face!" Scott yells to us. "Line up girls on one side, boys on the other.  
All of us girls back up to one side of the boat and the boys do the same on the other side. Once the song comes on we all start walking towards each other. We stop when we get close to the boys then I hear the word "dance" and copy what the girl to my left is doing and Emily does the same. We circle the guys and they place their one hand up in the air and lift their foot up and down. Each time we spin in a circle around the boys our hands drag on their chest. I look at the other boat, all of them are copying Michael Jackson moves. When the beat drops, so do all of us girls, we get down on our knees and shake our butts, then get back up again, and twerk in front of the people in the water. There's really not much room in this boat, and I don't know how at least twenty of us are dancing right now. The guys quickly yell stop dancing, and then they do the same thing we did to them, to us.  
By the last chorus we all separate and start jumping up and down.  
We end up winning and I feel really excited and happy. Emily squeezes me and gives me a kiss on my neck.  
"Woo! Now get off my boat" Scott laughs.  
All of us get off the boat and I watch the people in the other boats get out and swim to these boats. Jason goes on Scott's boat with that girl beside him and he laughs at me when I pass him. Next thing I know, two guys are handing Emily and I the signs that say Jacob and Scott's boat on them.  
"Oh I don't want to judge" I tell them.  
"Too bad" they say.  
Emily gives them the finger as they walk away.  
We sit on the jet ski's and wait.  
I hear Jacob yell  
"Blame!"  
And then it starts right away.  
No ones doing much, just slowly swaying their bodies. But then the beat starts to get better, and they start moving more both boats. When the beat really drops, Scott's boat is jumping up and down with their fists in the air and Jacob's boat has all the guys sitting down or sitting on the edge of the boat while the girls dance in front of them. After the beat dies down, the guys on Jacobs boat get up and circle the girls. On the other boat, they're just swaying again. By the second drop, on Jacobs boat, all the girls push back the guys and start dancing crazily. They're shaking their heads and swaying their bodies. On Scott's boat, they're still just jumping up and down. By the third verse, everyone on Jacobs boat, slowly gets down and we don't see them again till the beat drops, and then jump up in the air and dance till the end of the song.  
I put the sign up that says Jacob's boat and so does everyone else.  
"Bitch better have my money remix!" Scott yells.  
When it comes on, Scott's boat all walk up the one side of the boat closest to us, and start moving their hands like robots till the beat drops. On Jacobs boat, they're all walking slow till the beat drops. When the beat drops, on Scott's boat they all start doing their own thing. Some guys are tugging at girls bodies, others are jumping on the ledge of the boat and moving their hips slowly with their hands in the air. Everyone on Jacobs boat is dancing together, all so closely that it's hard to tell what they're actually doing. By the time the song ends, three of us vote for Scott, which means their boat wins.  
"Beast!" Jacob yells.  
When the song comes on, Jacob's boat has all the boys walking slowly to the side of the boat with their hands in front of them, then they cross their arms and the girls mock running, pointing to the boys. Slowly, the boys walk over to the girls and the girls dance up on them. I'm too busy watching Jacob's boat, but when I look at Scott's I see that they're all dancing together too. I look back at Jacobs boat, and now that Wacka is singing in the song, the boys are dancing around on the boat, swinging their legs in different ways and jumping up on the seats and ledges, then when the songs says "you better run right now boy" they start mocking running too, and it's really cool seeing the ones standing on the ledges running, I keep thinking one of them is going to fall in but none end up falling. They all jump off and go to the girls, and the girls dance near them again.  
All of us hold up a sign that says Jacob's boat and everyone cheers.  
"Two two! Last one wins!" The guy besides me screams.  
"Time to make it interesting! We are never getting back together!" Scott shouts.  
On Scott's boat, all the guys and girls are near each other but as soon as the song starts the girls walk away from the boys and each time the boys try to follow them, they turn around and push them and reenact fight scenes. On Jacobs boat, some of the people are on their knees pleading to the ones standing above them, and then when the chorus starts everyone standing up starts dancing together and the people that were on their knees try to join in but can't join the circle because it's blocked by everyone else. On Scott's boat, the guys are dancing to the girls while the girls stand there with their arms crossed, tapping their feet, and then when the chorus hits again, they push the boys off them. By the time the songs done, I can't decide who I want to pick! They were both so good, oh boy.  
"I don't know how to choose" Emily tells me.  
"Oh my god! Me neither!"  
Emily's the first one to hold up a sign. I can tell she doesn't want to choose, so she closes her eyes, shuffles the two signs in her hands then holds one up. It says Jacob's boat. I put up the sign that say's Scott's boat, because I liked seeing the guys dance for the girls then the girls not being impressed. The guy beside me votes for Jacob, and the two other judges vote for Scott, making Scott win once again.  
Everyone on the boat cheers, and everyone on Jacob's boat slumps.

Emily takes my hand and we walk back to the beach. I'm surprised by how much I'm sweating, I usually never sweat. Emily says something to me but I can't hear her over the music.  
"This is crazy!" She yells.  
I nod and laugh.  
"Hey" a girl says sitting down next to Emily.  
"Hey" Emily says looking at me.  
"Were you here before?" The girl asks.  
"What?" Emily says.  
"At this side of the beach? It's where all the girls who kiss girls go" she says.  
"Oh yeah, I'm here with my girlfriend" Emily says grabbing my hand.  
"Hi I'm Alison" I introduce myself.  
The girl looks at me. She doesn't smile or anything. Talk about a friendly person for you.  
"I'm Emma" she says looking back at Emily.  
A few people start approaching and sit down next to us. It's not long after that most of them start kissing each other again.  
"Hey" a girl standing in front of me says.  
I look over to Emily, she keeps pushing Emma off of her. I get up and the girl in front of me grabs me by the ass.  
"Woah, sorry not interested" I tell her.  
I push off of her and pick up Emily. She stands up beside me and I look down at Emma.  
"Fuck off, she's my girlfriend" I spit.  
She throws her hands up then waits for us to do something. Instead, we just walk away.  
I pick up a flyer that's underneath one of the jet ski's. The flyers black, but the writing is in white and there's a few pictures.  
"Scott's beach party! Tuesday July 21st. Join us for the gathering at 12, the volleyball tournament at 1, dancing on a boat at 3, chicken fight at 4, dinner at 5. Join us at night for a fire and fireworks! They'll be lots of food and lots of drinks! Come have a good time"  
"Hey" Emily says wrapping her arms around me.  
"Hi baby" I say dropping the flyer and hugging her back.  
She places her hand right underneath the cup of my bikini then kisses me softly. I push her hips closer in towards me. She drags her lips down on to my jawline then my neck. I let out a giggle and then gently push her off me.  
"Let's not be like everyone else" I say.  
"I know, I just hate seeing people stare at you because you're mine and they gotta know that" she says.  
I grab her hand and we walk into the water like a few other people. I guess it's time for the chicken fight.  
"Four against four, whoever wins advances and whoever loses faces the other losers" Scott shouts.  
Everyone lines up with someone, I search the crowd and lock eyes with Jason. We start walking to each other.  
"Ready to lose?" He says.  
"I don't know, are you?" I ask him.  
I look at his friend and introduce myself. She tells us her name is Sam. Sam is the same size as me, but I'm sure I can take her down.  
"Let's start!" Scott says over everyone's voices.  
Emily goes underneath the water and sits down. I sit down on her shoulders and she grabs my legs. I almost fall right away when she comes up from the water. The four of us move away from everyone else and then we begin. I try to push Sam off, but Jason moves really quick and it almost makes Sam fall of him. I let out a laugh and Emily walks towards them. Jason takes a step towards us and then Sam is trying to push me off. I push back but she doesn't move. I lean over on Emily by blocking a hit, making her wobble then push Sam from the side of her right arm. She kisses her balance and they tumble.  
"Woo!" I cheer.  
"Good job baby!" Emily cheers with me.  
"Face us" I hear someone say.  
Emily lowers down into the water and I jump off of her. The person who said it was a girl and her partner is a girl too. Luckily they're both small.  
"Did you guys win?" I ask.  
"Yeah, and then we were watching you guys, waiting" the girl says.

We end up winning two more, but then lost on our fourth one because it was against a guy and I had to hold up Emily and I couldn't really hold up Emily. Not because she's fat, but because I don't have that kind of strength. We advance far for the loser side. At least I think we did considering we won six times. I think Em and I should do this more often.  
By the time dinner comes along, most of us cram on the boats and eat the chicken, hot dogs, and hamburgers they made. There were five boats cooking food. Em and I went on Jacob's boat. Jason and Sam went on Riley's boat, which is Sam's cousin.  
"The food was really good, thanks!" I say to Jacob.  
"Yeah thank you" Emily says smiling.  
"No problemo lesbians!" Jacob shouts.

We only have one more drink for the rest of the night. The party is still hectic when the fire started. It's not your typical sit around at a fire and listen to people talk kind of fire. It was more like watch people dance around the fire with really loud music, others making out, rolling up joints and taking bong hits, and other people throwing a bunch of shit in the fire like people's shirts, the bottles, and then the one guy who was playing his guitar ended up throwing his guitar in the fire!  
"I've needed a new one for awhile now" he says.  
By the time they set off the fireworks I only realize just how dark it is, and that we have to go back on the boat and jet ski to get home. A wave of panic arises in my stomach and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Emily rubs my back slowly and gently.  
"C'mon we'll leave" she says.  
She helps me get up and keeps her arm wrapped around my back.  
It seems like it took us forever to find Jason. Of course he's still with his new girlfriend, his neck is covered in hickeys.  
"We should get back" Emily says to him.  
"Why?" He asks.  
"Because it's like 1 in the morning" I chip in.  
"So?" The girl says.  
I look at her and scrunch up my face.  
"Mostly everyone is sleeping here for the night on the beach" she tells us.  
"See! That's cool! We'll leave early in the morning Ali!" Jason cheers.  
Oh for fuck sakes, there's no way Jason is going to leave now and he knows I won't take the jet ski home by myself. He catches me thinking this over and smirks.  
"I hate you" I say then walk away.  
"Baby, it's okay. Let's just go sleep on the boat? Me and you" Emily says from behind me.  
"Sleep on a boat? That'll make me nauseous!" I say loudly.  
"Hey hey, you two can sleep on my boat, there's a bed down the stairs on it"  
I look to see who said that. It was Scott.  
"Really?" I ask.  
"Yeah, I'm spending the night out here! The nights still young! Though, I'll have to turn down the music now" he says. "That's my boat" he says pointing to the one on the left.  
"I remember" I say.  
The thought of swimming out to the boat makes me not want to even bother.  
"Do you know how to ride a sea-doo?" I ask him.  
"I know how to ride anything and anyone" he laughs.  
"Could you ride us out to your boat on mine please, then take it back here on shore?" I ask.  
"Yeah no problem"  
He throws his cup down on the beach and follows me to my jet ski.  
All three of us had to squeeze up on the jet ski, but I wasn't going to start complaining, and luckily we didn't get wet.  
"Try not to get the sheets dirty" he says as he drives back to shore.  
I think about screaming out thank you, but there's people on this boat sleeping on the seats. I'm too tired to take in a good look at the boat, instead I just follow Emily down the stairs and I'm thankful that there's a huge bed behind the closed door. I plop down on the bed right near Emily and snuggle up to her from behind.  
"Goodnight Em" I say kissing her head.  
"Night baby" she says.

"Jason, wake up. Let's go" I kick at Jason.  
He's sleeping on the sand, expect this time he's alone. He lets out a groan.  
"It's ten man, we gotta go" I push.  
"I got this" a guy says coming towards my brother with a sand castle bucket. He pours the water over Jason's head and he wakes up instantly.  
"Works every time" he says laughing.  
"Fuck you man" Jason says standing up.  
He holds his head as soon as he stands up and stretches out his arms in front of him.  
"Nice" I say.  
"We're leaving lets go" I tell him.

"Didn't you get cold?" Emily asks Jason while putting in the jet ski.  
"Nah, it doesn't matter where I'm sleeping cause I'll never have a shirt on!" He says a little loudly.  
"Where's your girlfriend?" I ask.  
"I remember sleeping beside her on the beach but I guess she left. Oh well!" He says.  
I wait till Jason gets in the boat and takes out the anchor, then I start following him slowly. We're not too far away from our cottage and after a bend in the lake and going a little bit fast straight in front of us, we make it the cottage.  
"What did you guys do yesterday?" My dad asks as soon as we get in the cottage.  
"Oh it was cool. We went out on the boat and then these people around my age asked if we wanted to go to their party so we did, and we ended up staying the night" Jason says truthfully.  
"Yeah, it was fun" I chip in.  
"We're going to leave early Sunday morning. Early as in four in the morning" the dad says.

All of us spend the whole day down at the dock. Jason put the tube on the boat and we took turns while the dad drove the boat and the mom sat in the boat too. I went on with Alison and had a blast. I'm not going to lie, I was really scared, I mean, we're sitting on a tube and the only thing holding us is this rope that looks like it'll snap at any given moment. When Jason goes on by himself, he falls of the tube as we turn the boat and I've never laughed so hard in my life. Poor little shit went flying off the tube oh my god. As soon as we turned he lost his grip on the tube and his body soared through the air for a good three seconds before he plopped into the water. We all laughed, expect for my dad. Until Jason popped his head out of the water and shouted that he's okay. I don't know how managed to climb on to the tube but he did. We end up tubing pretty much the whole day besides swimming in the lake and then eating lots of food.

"Goodnight my little gem" I say to Emily half asleep.  
"Goodnight my little spoon" she says back.  
It's true, in this moment I am her little spoon as she wraps her arms around me from behind and my body curls with the warmth of her body.

I hear footsteps approaching my room so I quickly scotch away from Emily and turn my head to the other side.  
"Ali, we're leaving soon" my mom says.  
I was tired, but now I'm awake.  
"What?" I say bolting up.  
"Jason said he has an important business meeting that they just called for so we gotta cut it one day short"  
"Oh, sure whatever" I groan.  
"Get ready" my mom says before closing the door.  
"Why now?" I shout.  
"Because of traffic later on Alison!" My mom shouts back.  
I go into the washroom and do the daily routine. Emily walks in just when I'm done brushing my teeth.  
"Hey, ever heard of knocking?" I tease.  
"I really have to pee!" She exclaims.  
I think about staying but then realize I probably shouldn't so I leave and throw on a pair of jeans and a crop top.  
"How was the pee?" I ask Emily as she comes back.  
"Oh fantastic!" She jokes.

I didn't think we were going to leave so quick till it's an hour later and we're already on the road.  
"Business meeting huh?" I say looking at Jason.  
"Yep, business meeting to bring in the big coin" he says smiling.  
"Proud of you honey" my mom says.  
My poor parents, if only they really knew what Jason was doing maybe they wouldn't be so proud. Emily pushes my back lightly and whispers to Jason  
"How much money have you made?"  
"Been at my job for a little over a year now and" I look back at him and see him put up seven fingers "hundred thousand" he says.  
My mouth drops. He doesn't even buy me nice things for my birthday or Christmas! He buys me nail polish or make up from the dollar store every year! I hit his arm at the thought of that and he gives me a look that was like "what the fuck is wrong with you?"  
"What're you saving your money for?" I ask Jason.  
"A mansion" he says.  
We end up spending most of the car ride secretly and quietly talking about Jason's career while my parents listen to the radio and my mom falls asleep halfway home.

"Alison!" I hear Emily shut my name.  
I must have fallen asleep, I open my eyes and see Ace right in my face. I jump up and then laugh.  
"You're an ass" I say.  
"Hey, Ace wanted to say hi it's not my fault. He wanted to say - wake up Ali, we're home!" Emily says, changing the pitch of her voice to a high one.  
My parents get out of the car and right before Jason leaves he reminds us just how weird we are. I remind him how fucked he is in the future.


	20. Finally

To be truthfully honest I've only ever wanted one thing in life - happiness, but it's never that simple you see. Everyone wants to be happy but everyone feels happiness in different ways. Some people are fucked and get happy by putting others down, other people find happiness by hurting things but then there's some people who find happiness by peace and love in this world, and those are the kind of people you want in your life and the person you should be. The truth is, it takes a lot to be happy because you can't be happy if fucked up things keep happening to you and you can't be happy if you're miserable. Maybe life wouldn't be so miserable if it were easier. Do you know what I mean? I mean, how much easier would it be if you could just pick something, anything you want in life and then be happy? How much easier would be if you had people in your life that care about you and would never even think about hurting you? Why is it always the people you think would never betray you, betray you? I'm not saying I'm not grateful, I am. I know I have friends who care about me. It's just, where were they when I needed them the most? I'm not saying it's anyone's fault but my own but, it would've helped if I had someone to steer me in the right direction but that's the thing. The only person who'll ever steer you in the right direction is yourself. It doesn't matter what anyone is telling you, friends, family, girlfriend or boyfriend because it's up to you to do what you want to do. People only have an impact on you, nothing else. You can never count on someone else for your happiness either. The truth is, no matter how much I love Alison, I know I can't depend on her for my happiness, for she could leave me one day, for nothing really ever lasts does it? The thing is, things are always breaking or being replaced. Let's say I have the brand new iPhone, I love it, it's great and takes beautiful pictures, it's everything to me but then I drop it and it shatters. Then I go back to the store and replace it, till something new comes along or till I break this one. Let's say I have a new pair of kicks, but six months later they get all dirty and there's holes in them. Let's say I brought my first car, it's fucking shit, needs a dozen repairs. I started watching a new TV show last week, but then I finished all the seasons and it's done. I went on a walk the other day and ended up back here. An hour ago it was 1pm, now it's 2pm. It's sunny today but it was raining yesterday. My friend used to have long hair but she cut it and now it's short. The fire stopped, the song ended, the day finished, the memories are gone, feelings faded, glass breaks, and nothing lasts. It's 2pm and I think I'm having withdrawals. I can't stop sweating. "Emily?" The teacher calls out.  
"Yeah" I say.  
"What's your answer?" She asks.  
I stare at her and the kids in the classroom, I have no idea what we're talking about. All I know is that I'm in math class, not English right now. And it's a Friday.  
"I don't know" I mumble. She looks disappointed in me but asks the next kid, he answers with pride in his voice, only to be corrected a little bit by the teacher. I wipe the sweat from my face and take a drink of water. I close my eyes for a second and see a familiar face.  
"Hey, can I copy question seven?" Ricky grins.  
I open my eyes and bolt up immediately. The teacher stops teaching and everyone looks at me. "Can I go to the washroom?" I ask quickly.  
She nods her head and I leave the class in a hurry. I splash water on my face and then drink some. I look in the mirror and watch the pelts of water drip off my face into the sink. Who am I? It's nearly two ten, I have fifty more minutes left. I go back to class and work on finishing up the questions. I fucking hate math questions. I see the word "nothing" and I look up from the sheet of paper. Nothing lasts forever. Unless you make it last forever. The problem is, people give up too easily. Take care of what you have and it will last forever. I mean, I suppose your first car won't last forever, or the shoes you've outgrown along with all your clothes, and yeah maybe you need to upgrade your electronics every once in awhile but you can make things last and people can stay if they want to stay. I'm not trying to be bitter or negative, I'm just a realistic. The way I see the world, is for the way it truly is. A lot of shit happens, a lot of people leave you, and you end up feeling more sad than happy, but at the end of the day you have to decide what's better for yourself. Do you really want to continue being friends with people who make you feel alone? Do you really want people in your life who treat you like shit? Do you really want something good to happen? Make things happen, make good friends, have patience and never give up. I don't care how sad you are or how sad I am, because we both know that life really is worth living.  
"Finish up the rest of the questions then call it a day" Mrs. Banks says out loud.  
I finish all the questions right at three then leave. I fucking hate being in that building during summer. Alison's waiting for me right out the building like she usually does. She's wearing the same smile she does everyday and her beautiful golden hair is blowing lightly in the wind.  
"Hi gorgeous" I say embracing her in a hug.  
Everyday I go to Alison's from school I always go take a shower because it's so hot and sticky in that building. The air condition in there sucks, maybe one day Alison will hop me in the shower with me. I shudder at the thought of that happen and she touches my shoulder.  
"What's up?" She asks.  
"I love you" I tell her.  
She lets out a smile on her face, making me smile.  
"And, I love the way you drive" I say getting into her parents car.  
"Yeah? Well wait till I get a Lamborghini" she plays.  
"Hey maybe I should buy one with all the money I have!" I shout.  
"No Emily" Alison says slamming her foot on the accelerator.  
I would have never taken Alison as to being a fast driver, but hey, you're always surprised as to finding out new things.  
"Save your money for other things, like-"  
"A lot of pizza and dildos" I finish.  
She lets out a laugh, and I laugh too. "What do you need dildos for?" Alison asks.  
"You're right, I really don't need them" I say with confidence.  
She lets out another laugh and I blush.  
"Don't worry Alison, I'm going to save my money for college" I say the word college in a mocking tone and she lets go of the steering wheel to hit me.  
"Ow!" I yelp.  
"I'm the strong one now" she teases.  
I look at her like she's gone crazy and then stare out the window. I wonder if she really is stronger than me now, she probably is. Ace is probably stronger than me! I should start working out, show her who's boss, carry her around everywhere. That's what I'll get into, going for runs again and I'll buy some weights. I'll be buff in no time again, I just have to stop eating pizza.  
"For now you are" I finish.  
The school isn't that far away from where Ali lives, our old school was about five minutes away and this one is ten when we drive. I get out of the car right when we get to the driveway and run to the other side and open the door for Alison.  
"My lady" I say as the door opens. "Oh you little cheese ball" Alison giggles.  
Her parents fly out of the door with big smiles on their face. It's nice to see adults smiling. Her mother is in such a cute red dress.  
"Oh Ali!" Her mom cheers. "Your father and I are going out today"  
"What? Shouldn't you both be at work?" Ali asks.  
"We came home early sweetie" her dad says.  
"Where are you going?" Alison asks.  
"We're going out for dinner, a walk, then we're going to go see a movie. Don't wait up" her mom says.  
"I want to come!" Alison's complains.  
"It's a date" her father says.  
"Oh well have fun then" Alison says with a sudden smile on her face.  
We watch them leave and wave when they leave the driveway.  
"Now we have to provide our own dinner" Alison grumbles.  
"I'll make us something" I tell her.  
"Just go put on a movie and cuddle up in a blanket, I'll be there soon"  
I hear her call for Jason's name two times and he never answers, figuring he's not home.  
I decide on making grilled cheese with bacon and tomato and throwing on salad at the side of the plat. I also pop a bag of popcorn then join Ali in the living room, fifthteen minutes later.  
"Thanks baby" she says giving me a peck on the cheek.  
After we finish all the food, Alison gets sick of the movie and turns it off. We walk up the stairs and go into her room, she shuts her door and my stomach feels queasy. We're alone.  
"Hey, we can finally listen to music at the volume we want to" Ali says.  
She grabs her laptop from her bed and puts it on her dresser. She puts on a song and turns up the volume as loud as it can go. All I can think about is having sex with her. I look straight at her and she giggles. She pulls something out of her dresser, a lighter.  
"Why do you have a lighter?" I ask.  
"Because I have candles, I like candles" she says.  
I walk towards her and hug her from behind as she lights an apple scented candle. She grabs both my hands as I kiss the back of her neck. She spins around and kisses me on the lips.  
"I fucking love you" she says, pushing me down on her bed.  
I gulp and by the time I pull myself a little bit up by my elbows, she's on top of me, kissing me. My heart is beating so fast, I feel like we're about to have sex and I don't know if I can handle it.  
"Oh my god" I breathe.  
"I know" she says.  
I push myself up to her pillows and she does the same. She puts her hand on my face while she kisses me and the other on my waist. I pull her closer to me and she ends up getting on top of me again. We kiss for a long time, and the minute it gets more intense I pull away and she gets up to stand against the bed, she sits on my lap and puts my hands underneath her shirt. The second she stops kissing me I lift up her shirt slowly and breathe in. I bite my lip, hard.  
"I like your pink bra" I say quietly.  
"Take it off" she says.  
She leans her head to the left and my right leg has a complete spaz. It won't stop twitching, I can't do this. I feel her lift up my shirt and then she throws it on the ground.  
"I like your black bra" she says grinning.  
I put my hands on Ali's back, I start kissing her and she puts her tongue in my mouth, it makes me work faster and I unhook Ali's bra then grab her boobs in my hand. She stops kissing me and let's out a breath, I kiss her neck, her collarbone, then I start kissing her boobs, while my other hand is still grabbing the one. She unhooked my bra and I let the straps fall off of my arms. I can hear her moaning a little and as soon as I start sucking she gets off my lap and I grab her by her jeans and undo the button and zip down the zipper. I pull down her pants and then she steps out of them. She's wearing pink underwear too. She puts her hands on her underwear and pulls down. I close my eyes for a second and bite down on my lip even harder. Oh my god, this is it, we're going to have sex. I don't know what to do right now, I'm not trying to look below her waist but like I can't help it and I just want to feel her and taste her. I look up at her and she grabs my hand, yanking me off the bed. She quickly pulls down the shorts I was wearing and starts kissing me as she pulls down my underwear, letting it fall down my legs. I move my feet and let Ali get in the bed as I go on top of her. We go under the covers and start kissing again, I'm on top of her and I trace my fingers down her body.  
"Alison" I say, letting my lips fall off hers.  
"Emily" she says.  
We look into each other's eyes, and then I watch her face change as I put my finger inside of her. She quickly pulls her head up and starts kissing me. She's so wet, and so am I. I put another finger in and start going faster. She stops kissing me and starts moaning, I kiss her neck. I can feel myself starting to sweat, but I try to go faster than I already am and now she's moaning really loud. I put another finger in and when I take them out ten minutes later, I know she came. I kiss her ear and whisper I love you before I start kissing all the down her body. She's still wet, I can feel it when I put my tongue on her. I start licking her and she grabs both my hands and squeezes them. I flick my tongue as fast as I can on her and then smear my tongue all over her.  
"Oh my god, oh my god" she says pulling my head up.  
I go back on top of her and try kissing her but she pushes my chest and I fall down on the bed. She gets on top of me and starts kissing me but then pulls away.  
"You taste good baby sh" I say.  
She puts her lips back on mine and kisses me for long seconds, it feels so good, and then I feel her inside me. I take my mouth off hers and take a long breath. It feels so good for her to be inside me. I put my hand on the back of her neck and push her head down on mine and kiss her at a fast pace, it only makes her finger me faster so I move my mouth away from hers and start moaning. I can't take it anymore, I pull her hand away and close my legs tightly.  
"I'm not done" she says on top of me.  
She brings her head down and kisses my neck gently, and gets lower with every kiss. She kisses my boob and I arch my body up, she looks up at me and let's out a giggle. I feel her place her hands on my hips and her tongue on my vagina. It makes me twitch and then when she goes faster she locks her fingers in mine.  
"Oh my god baby" I moan.  
I feel her flick her tongue across my clit and it makes me lose it so I pull up my body and grab her arms.  
"I love you" I tell her.  
"I love you too" she smiles.  
She pulls the covers over us and we start kissing again, except this time it's slower kisses. Alison lays her head down on my chest and traces her fingers on my stomach, I rub her shoulders. We're already so close but I wish we were closer so I pull her more in and give her a hug.  
"You know what we should do tomorrow?" Alison asks.  
_Have sex again?_ Except this time I'd fuck her. I feel like we just made love, and now I want to fuck her hard and give her hickeys and let her scratch my back and pull my hair. I bite my lip and feel myself get wet thinking about it.  
"Um, I-" I stutter.  
She doesn't say anything either. Maybe she's thinking the same thing I am.  
I look down at her and she looks up at me. I put my lips on hers and she kisses me with such force it makes me want to fuck her right now.  
"I want to fuck you" she says.  
"I want to fuck you so bad" I tell her.  
She sits up on me and I feel her vagina on my leg. I move my leg slowly, she looks at me and smirks. Her boobs are fucking great, I put both my hands on them and squeeze. She grabs my one hand and puts it underneath her. I lift up two of my fingers and let her sit on them. She moves her body up and down and I place my other hand on her hip when she starts going faster. Fuck, she's riding me and it's so fucking hot. She lets out loud moans and then I put in another finger. I put in four and then she goes into a complete orgasm. I keep calling her baby and letting her know how fucking hot she is. She lifts her body up and comes down on me, kissing my neck, except this time she starts sucking on my neck and biting it. I put my hand on her ass and squeeze her, then I massage her vagina, feeling how wet she is. She stops sucking on my neck and I bring my fingers to my mouth and suck on them.  
"Oh my god" she says, putting her hands on my collarbone.  
I feel her other hand down below and she puts fingers inside me and starts fucking me right away. She's doing it a lot faster and harder this time. I express how she's making me feel on her back and through my moans.  
"Oh my god, I'm gonna cum" I say right before I do.  
She feels it and goes down on me right away.  
"Fuck, you taste good" she says.  
I feel her do all sorts of things with her tongue and I shove her head in more. I grab the bed sheets and moan.  
"Come here" I say.  
She does, I flip her over and open my mouth as wide as I can on her neck and start sucking. She digs her fingernails in my back. After I'm done on her neck I move down to her boobs and start kissing them and licking her nipple. I open my mouth and suck on her boob till I can't anymore. She takes control again and gets on top of me, only she keeps getting on top of me and now my face is her seat rest. I put my tongue on her and lick her slowly to tease her, but then I go faster and I put my tongue inside her and lick around. She turns around, 69 is our real dinner. I start fingering her from this way and she starts screaming, I think I'm about to make her squirt, but then we hear her mom call out her name.  
She quickly gets off of me and turns on her phone. It's 9:13. She runs to the front of her door and shuts off her lights then comes back in bed. We're both panting and sweating. She turned her back on me, and within a few minutes her mom opens the door and I shut my eyes.  
"Goodnight honey" we hear her say.  
As soon as she shuts the door Alison turns around and faces me. We kiss each other.  
"Do you think she heard?" I ask.  
"What? No" Alison says quickly.  
"You were pretty loud" I remind her.  
"It's okay, they didn't hear" she tells me.  
"You're so sexy" I tell her.  
"You are" she says kissing my nose.  
She lays on me the way she did before we had sex again.  
"I'm so tired" she says.  
I let out a laugh and tell her I am too.


End file.
